I'm reqlly struggling with my stepson
Hi, its nice to read i am not the only one finding this hard.
So i have two young kids 6 and 4 my partner has two 16 and 13.
The 16 year old lad is who i struggle with and i really don't want to. I want to be ok with him.
I am 99% very good with him to his face but underneath I could scream. Everyone who meets him says how grown up, polite and smart he is. People including his mum and dad talk about him like the sun shines out of his ..... I just don't see it, he is lazy (does nothing but sit and watch tv, gets up between 11am and 2pm) he eats everthing that can be eaten with no effort. He wouldn't think to cook anything, well apart from all the bacon, if there is 2 slices of bacon he eats them if there is a full pack he eats it. If there is any leftovers i have to get his mum to make sure he knows not to touch them they are ear marked for another meal. If this wasn't said he would turn up from his dads and pig out. He is piling weight on.
He talks all the time about how amazing his dad is but then tells us how skint his dad is and wants his mum to pay for all his hair cuts, proms, when he goes out with friends etc. He thinks its right to have a drink everynight at 16 which his mum and dad are ok with. He goes on about hating bitter and Guinness so i buy these and low and behold if there is no larger he drinks them anyway.
As I said everyone is always saying how smart he is, yes he maybe is academically but he has no common sense at all, you couldn't leave him alone, yet you could his sister. He is also such a wimp, scared of everything from insects to illness. He thinks he is having a heart attack at least twice a month.
He is so clingly to his mum and barley leaves her side, still calling her mummy.
All he will wear is designer clothes, like the most expensive stuff.
Like i say i want to be ok with him i really do. He is a kid still but i don't know what to do.
This is a very negative sounding post but i don't want it to be. I am the adult i just would like some words of wisdom from someone who has done this.
Thank you
How does his dad feel?
What does your partner say? Does he feel there is an issue?
Not really. She knows he is a
Not really. She knows he is a wimp but says his neediness is just that he is a sensitive sole.
She knows he eats everything but she has a guilt complex about leaving bis dad etc so is very soft with him
It sounds like the kid is a
It sounds like the kid is a successful product of his parents. He won't change until his parents see something is wrong and tries to fix it which I doubt they will since he is 16 and pretty set in his ways.
I actually agree. When told
I actually agree. When told how nice, kind and amazing you are foe your whole life, this is probably what has made him an entiltled 16 year old.
At least he is not misbehaving
It sounds like yes, he is an obnoxious person and I don't thing I'd be crazy about him, either. But unless I'm reading incorrectly, I don't see that he is misbehaving. Just read around on this site and you will count your blessings, some of the kids on here are atrocious.
If the only issues are his lousy personality and eating so much (teenage boys), then I'd take UpgradeWife's advice and disengage. Nothing would change unless the bio parents got serious and they seem ok with him. At 16, I doubt there is much you as SP can do. Just say to yourself, "only 2 more years, only 2 more years". Let's face it - in life, we all occasionally run into people we just don't like. He sounds like one of them. Be polite, be civil and that's all you really must do.
There is so much that is
There is so much that is screwed up about this situation. This kid will need support for long after he turns 18.
Save yourself.