Not music to my ears (the final chapter)
Hello Friends! Just a quick update and sincere request for a pep talk from those who can relate. My back story is this: my boyfriend (of 4 years), father of 8 teenaged children (from his previous wife) and I lived in blissful tranquility, with our two cats, up until a year ago. That is when the storm broke: six of his kids moved in with us full time. It was pretty much a rocky ride for me from the get-go. The kids, although good at heart, have destroyed the house and much of my sanity. My boyfriend hasn't really had my back throughout any of this. At one point, they let one of our cats out of the house, and he never came home. That was a devastating time for me (still is), and it took me over a month to be able to speak to them again. When I attempted to get another cat, my boyfriend flipped out in a drunken rage, and threatened to end our relationship. He also got in my face and was very physically close to hurting me. As time has gone by, my boyfriend goes out drinking more and more after work, leaving me alone with the loud, obnoxious kids. In spite of all this, my heart forced me to give my all to preserve what was good in our relationship. When we were kid free and alone, he was my best friend and lover. Things had been relatively drama free between us over the past month, up until the other day, when our cat had an accident in the bedroom. My boyfriend kicked him out of our bedroom, which is his only safe space in the house. He told me he loved me, but if I had a problem, I should go. When I brought up all the stuff I do for the kids, like provide a taxi service, he sent them a group text and told them never to ask me for a ride again. That's not what I wanted though...I was just proving to him my value in the house. I was of course very hurt, so I reached my all time low and slept with our cat in the unfinished basement for two nights. I didn't want to be around my boyfriend, and I didn't want my cat to be by himself. My boyfriend also threatened to throw the cat out into the woods if he has any other accidents in the house. After two days of not speaking to him, my boyfriend called me, while I was driving, and told me since I wasn't speaking to him and was too much of animal lover (plus the fact that I'm not a gun enthusiast like he is), that he wanted to call it quits. i told him how cruel it was to just throw away 4 years, via a phone call. He said, be glad it wasn't a text message. So tomorrow I am leaving my home, with my cat, and going to my parents'. I'm terrified of the future, heart broken, confused. Any ideas what is going on here ?! I'm leaving while the kids are all away. Not sure if they will miss me or not. I'm willing to be there for any of them, because I do care for them. I just hate living with them. Any thoughts would be profusely appreciated . (Oh, and he doesn't know I'm leaving tomorrow! )
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Comments
Good for you for leaving.
Good for you for leaving. This man is psychologically and emotionally abusing you... and clearly, almost physically abusing you. He is gaslighting and manipulating you. You deserve better.
Let this guy and his 8 kids go and don't look back. None of them are worth your time. The kids clearly have very little respect for you and you said it yourself, your boyfriend never had your back. Take your kitty and live your best life. Changes are always hard at first, but it will get easier and you'll be happy you left.
Thank you!!
Thank you so much !!
I am truly sorry for what you
I am truly sorry for what you are going through. I know it won't be easy. But believe me after time away from your ex you will start to feel differently. Your BF ending the relationship is a blessing in disguise.
Your ex was abusive. You were the one putting all the work into the relationship while he did all the taking. That's not how relationships are supposed to be. You deserve better and to be with someone who treats you well and appreciates you.
Take this time to find yourself again and your happiness. Never feel like you have to compromise the things that make you happy for another person.
Thank you!
Thank you so much ! I know this post wasn't specifically about a step kids issue, but everyone here has been so supportive on my previous posts .
What a piece of shi* he is for doing that
Having 6 teenage kids move in overnight would drive anyone mad with that chaos. Its hard enough with 1 feral skid, you had 6 at home!!
That guy is weak and had no balls to actually man up to parenting and your relationship. A real man would value you, appreciate you and respect you!! He did not and tried to paint you as not the victim.
there is a possibility he is gaslighting you, basically trying to lure you back into caving into him by threatening relationship is over since you won't sleep in same room when he and his kids have been such arseholes at home. Don't give in hun!!
even if he peddles some sob story how sorry he is, once you are out cut off all contact and block his number. Life is too precious to be held back by a feral bunch of toxic disrespectful aholes and any person who threatens harm onto a pet is not someone you should be with.
I wouldn't blame the cat for being scared, with his 6 feral kids, what cat would want tobe around that and no wonder cat had an accident at home. Your ex isn't interested in addressing any issues, its all about blaming you. He does not have your back, he can't control his brood and has no business being in a relationship with anyone
Please let this really be the
Please let this really be the final chapter. Get the hell out of there.
I glad you going somewhere
I glad you going somewhere safe.
Please make sure any and all financial and legal matters are completely separated from him, so he can not stitch you up with additional costs that him and his brats cause.
8 kids !!! 6 moving in
8 kids !!! 6 moving in unexpectedly?! Wowza....I would have lost my sh!t
He is an abusive pr!ck, it is a blessing he left ! Don't take him back!
be happy and free :))
Don't get lured back in either!!!
BLOCK his number!!! Do not communicate nor meet with him... not even in a public place. Do not give any signal that you are leaving. Just GO when he is not there.
Hard to do but SOOOOO worth it.
Abuse
You are coming out of an abusive situation-so you will feel uneven for a bit that's normal and okay. Don't be afraid of breaking up - be afraid of staying with someone who treats you cruelly. You're going to be ok- so glad you have your parents' house to decamp to - that's a blessing.
Yes. I’m blessed!
Yes. I'm blessed that I can take refuge here at my parents' for a while. I don't like this change, but I guess it'll get better. Thank you for replying !
Yes. I’m blessed!
Yes. I'm blessed that I can take refuge here at my parents' for a while. I don't like this change, but I guess it'll get better. Thank you for replying !
Yes. I’m blessed!
Yes. I'm blessed that I can take refuge here at my parents' for a while. I don't like this change, but I guess it'll get better. Thank you for replying !
Good for you. You are taking
Good for you. You are taking him up on his direction and leaving. Take your kitty and get out, it's only going to get worse and I fear your cat will disappear. Be safe, live your great life. It's only the change that's scary, everything else will be better.
Thank you very much!
Thank you for the kind sentiments!
Good for you !
Leave this abuser in the dust. ! Good riddance.
Go enjoy your life. You deserve nothing short of happiness and support in life.
Please make sure to fully heal and to never allow yourself to be in a relationship that is toxic ever again. Therapy to help you if needed. All the best !