You are here

Pregnancy hormones or not?

Missbx's picture

Submitted by Missbx on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 7:21am

Forums: 
Bio Child Free Zone

So, my partner and I are expecting our first child Im just over 20 weeks, he has a child from a previous relationship. I'm classed as high risk and under consultant care for a few different reasons/problems. My midwife, nurses and consultant have told me not to mix with children I don't live with as they are the main covid carriers other people too but mainly not to mix with children. My partner wasn't having his child for a while because of covid her mother said no and then she was pregnant and wanted to protect the new baby which is reasonable but now all of a sudden I'm pregnant it's not fair he can't have her. He said he would see her socially distanced which would be fine but I'm not buying it, he's seen his friends a few times over the last few months for one reason or another and said he touched them and never caught anything so I would be fine, my problem is I asked him please don't touch anyone when you go but did it and clearly didn't care for the concequnces if he did catch anything but didn't even tell me till yesterday. Am I in the wrong here being funny about this? You can clearly see with his track record he doesn't listen and carries on touching people so why would he touch his friends but be fine to see his child at a distance he'll just lie about it. My biggest peeve is he was fine with it when his ex said he can't see her because of protecting her child and new baby but now I'm not feeling ok about it I'm the devil. Also that his child's health mattered all this time but now it's time to consider me and his new baby it's a problem. I don't know what to think about it 

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 8:43am

I would tell him just what you've told us: it seems like you were more concerned about BM and her baby than you are about me. I know you want to see your daughter but is there another way to do this that can keep me in our baby together safe? 

Are you vaccinated yet?

Missbx's picture

Submitted by Missbx on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 8:50am

I did I told him that and he just dismissed me and acted like I was crazy and evil. He can call, granted they don't always answer the phone but half the time he doesn't call anyway. He says he'll see her and social distance but he won't I'm not stupid he happily touched his friends and came back and didn't give a shit so it wouldn't be any different around his child. 
 

im not vaccinated no the midwife told me not to take it until after the baby's born and I wasn't offered it before I got pregnant 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 8:55am

You might want to check up on that - where I live, they vaccinate from the end of the second trimester (and they tend to use Moderna).

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 8:58am

I agree I would ask a different doctor to write you a letter saying that you are clear to get it. It's up to you as the patient and this would mean that your baby would come out already protected. I'm actually quite surprised that a midwife would recommend that you don't get it at this point there's lots of data for pregnant people. 

Missbx's picture

Submitted by Missbx on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 9:30am

I'm not too sure about that I just know something to do with me being high risk I'm in the uk too if that makes any difference and I struggle to get appointments other than what I have made by my midwife/consultant there's never any available it took me 6 weeks to get spoken to when I found out I was pregnant even then it was only a phone appointment. But either way I still feel he's in the wrong maybe it's me I don't know but I'm deciding if this is a hill to die on or not

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 4:46pm

I have the vaccine myself, and support others doing so but I would never ever recommend a pregnant women get the vaccine, there are not enough studies to know how it would affect a developing fetus either.  Absolutely do not recommend.  I would wait until done breastfeeding.  

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 07/11/2021 - 1:30am

Certainly caution is in order regarding the Covid vaccine and pregnancy.  Any medication and pregnancy for that matter.  Though there are number of similarly developed vaccines and injection medications that have been in use for decades and do not cause pregnancy or healthy baby issue. Antibodies passed from mother to baby via breast milk is a key element of the babies developing immune system.  Working with the advice of the OBGYN team is the way to go.

 

 

Recent reports have shown that breastfeeding people who have received COVID-19 mRNA vaccines have antibodies in their breastmilk, which could help protect their babies. More data are needed to determine what protection these antibodies may provide to the baby. Jun 29, 2021

COVID-19 Vaccines While Pregnant or Breastfeeding - CDC

 

Missbx's picture

Submitted by Missbx on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 9:45am

Nope he's not vaccinated and apparently doesn't want to be yet either. Even if he was he could still carry it to me and the baby, he said he doesn't want it until more research etc has been done

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Sun, 06/27/2021 - 3:44pm

The standard advice for any man questioning where his loyalties should lie are with his current spouse/partner, not the ex.  It should be very uncomfortable for him to put anybody above or before you. He has a responsibility for his first child AND his second one but his priority should be you and him.  Sorry he's unclear about that and not taking this seriously.  Stay on top of the research about Covid and it's variants.  Do what you must to stay safe.  If that means quarantining away from him until he gets clarity then do it.  

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 06/28/2021 - 9:27pm

Call your lawyer and have a cease and desist order drawn up informing him that if he violates  the advice of your medical team  on quarantine that he will be served with a RO/PO keeping him out of your home and away from you and the new born once you deliver until he can prove adequate quarantine and that he is virus free.

This guy is an idiot. Please do not sully your own gene pool any further with this moron.

smh

MaryBethC's picture

Submitted by MaryBethC on Mon, 06/28/2021 - 10:59pm

Rags love your no BS response, as always.

 

Hun, your first priority is your safety and you unborn babies, if SO is not concerned with you or his unborn child I wouldn't be concerned with where he stays because I would have this man kicked OUT if I were you.

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Mon, 06/28/2021 - 11:13pm

If you're worried about Covid, and your partner is clearly not worried about bringing it home to you (or at least is not acting as such), and is not willing to curtail his visitations and social activities in order to protect you and your unborn baby, one option is to live apart from him.  That way he can see his first child and touch his friends and you don't have to worry about being infected if he is exposed to Covid.  Of course, you may decide while living apart that you don't much need him, since he doesn't put you first anyway.  That might be something he wishes to consider in making his own choices.

Dontjustsuffer's picture

Submitted by Dontjustsuffer on Wed, 06/30/2021 - 7:06am

As a therapist I get so fed up of hearing second time dads treating first time mothers as an inconvenience to their first family/child. I'm presuming here that he has already explained to the child why he hasn't been seeing them or shouldn't be? If so he should stick to that regardless as if he does just go and turn up the child will then think they're a step above the baby as daddy has changed his mind. Why are you letting him disregard you and your child and healthcare advice? All he is doing is showing you that you will both be 2nd compared to his first child, do not tolerate it. From what you have written I can bet he is one of those dads consoling his poor first child because daddy is having another one making you feel dreadful and taking your excitement out of having your baby. Newsflash if that is how he acts or feels he should have worked it out with the mother and stayed with her for the sake of the child or not had another one. Do not let him talk you round as a previous poster said go to a lawyer if needs be. He should be putting you and your child first right now. He should not even be bringing this up to you making you feel guilty he should be stopping visitation without stressing you in the meantime you shouldn't even be arguing over this it should just be done of his own accord. As you may have noticed everyone has agreed with you so far so it's pretty easy to see you are not in the wrong. This IS a hill to die on. 

Missbx's picture

Submitted by Missbx on Wed, 06/30/2021 - 7:09am

Thanks all for the replies, it hasn't come up again since as I literally blew up over it but I do expect it to in the next week or 2 and I will certainly be sharing the views I have been given. If he doesn't listen then as far as I'm concerned he can leave as someone else said, it's not like he's putting us first anyway. Let's hope he sees sense for once