Getting custody of SS15, SD14, & SS13?
Hello! Hoping for some insight or similar stories of getting custody of the SKs! We are in Indiana if that helps! DH & BM have been divorced since 2012, in 2013 they had a court battle and it was decided to have 50/50 custody as to be decided by them. I married DH in 2017 & we got the kids a lot more frequently as I came around about 80/20. Then the pandemic hit & we had all 3 SKs full time. SD14 left for about 5 months to live with BM last year around Labor Day & just a month ago or so has returned to us full time because of the conditions of BM home & her inability to be a parent. We would like to cut BM rights completely because she's a crap parent & extremely toxic & manipulative. We often worry she will take these kids & run one of these days because she is extremely unpredictable. As of right now she seems unbothered we have all the kids but she always changes her mind especially right before tax time. DH also is still paying $30 a week in child support even though we have had SS13 since October 2019 full time & SS15 full time since the start of the pandemic. How should we go about getting full custody/termination of rights? SS's absolutely hate BM because of everything she has done to them. SD is just really hurt that BM can't step up & be a mom. Also how do we go about stopping the child support? Kids want to live with us permanently and the boys don't even want to visit her. SD wants to occasionally visit but is afraid BM will trap here there/kidnap her.
A google search can easily
A google search can easily net you a wealth of custody questions and answers. Since all the children are teenagers they might be able to testify in court that they want to reside full time with the father. I don't foresee a court terminating a parents rights completely (especially a mother) unless she is incarcerated. As for the CS, usually that is determined based off of percentage of living arrangements...just because your DH has full custody does not mean he might not still have to pay CS.
I just wanted to see if
I just wanted to see if anyone had a similar case
& how do you figure? How would him having full custody need for him to pay child support?
Child Support owed?
It depends on paren's earnings. If he has kids full time no. If they have 50/50 depend on who earns more if some child support will be paid.
Kids never at Mom’s
Create a spreadsheet, document the days/times kids are with you etc..... Then file a motion to reduce child support. ( You can do yourself googke online), file in Crownpoint. They cannot give you legal advice, but clerk can give you information about the filing process.
If the kids prefer to stay with you, they can voice the same in court. Good luck, I have found that kids kids will play the parents and when it comes down to it will side with mother, but at least you know where they stand. If they back down, they can go with mom.
They don't terminate rights
They don't terminate rights because that would absolve the bad parent of any responsibility. It would deprive the skids of the right to receive monetary support from that parent. If a parent is bad enough, that parent could get restricted visitation, but they would still be responsible for paying support. For that to happen, there would usually have to be physical danger to the children.
You could pursue reduced or supervised visitation, but it would be expensive. I don't know what would happen if the skids simply refused to get in the car. They are at an age where that may be possible. Both of these options carry the risk of your DH being accused of alienation.
The only way to have rights terminated is if someone else is willing to step in and take that parent's responsibility. Aka adoption. You could offer to adopt the skids, but then you would have the same financial responsibilites as their parent. Offering BM some money for "expenses" is how I've seen it done, to get BM to agree. It would be cheaper than court. It's illegal to pay someone outright to agree to an adoption, so you'd have to consult an attorney on that.
SSs do want me to adopt them,
SSs do want me to adopt them, they have voiced this long ago, we have not asked SD though.. maybe we can take this route..
Given the amount of child support is so low,
Given the amount of child support is so low, you might consider just letting things go on as they have been. Keep the kids and send BM the money - you might keep her happy enough she will not try to make them visit. The kids are old enough that BM would have a hard time actually kidnapping them if they put up any resistance at all.
You are never going to get her parental rights terminated.
Well according to court
Well according to court papers she has rights to claim SS15 on her taxes too (idk who claims him exactly because she isn't a citizen) so the two combined it's pretty unfair.
i agree, it is unfair. But run the numbers and see if it makes
i agree, it is unfair. But run the numbers and see if it makes financial sense to go to court for a change in custody and support. If she fights, you will easily spend 50,000 or more. Put that up against the minimal support you are paying and how much you might save on taxes.
You will never be able to adopt the children unless BM voluntarily gives them up - and the odds of that are exceedingly low. Trust us on this, courts do not terminate rights for the issues you have given and they don't do it just because the kids have indicated they want you to be their Mom.
In some States the dominant
In some States the dominant parent financially can owe CS to the other parent even when the financially dominant parent is the CP. Leveling the child's lifestyle can be a thing depending on the State.
You do not have to stop
You do not have to stop parental rights... Start documenting dates and times kids stay with you on a spreadsheet. Child support is calculated by number of nights they spend with parent. It looks like the original parenting schedule is not being followed. Kids are old enough to state what they want to judge loud and clear... Do some research and file a motion yourself with your documentation... The kids can attest to the dates and times that they spend with you in your home! Kids could help with documentation if they are serious!!!!! Just be prepared because once it comes to them voicing an opinion and BM talks to them, they will recant!!!!! They will be loyal to BM... I learned this..... What mom tells them to do will supersede all else so dont be disappointed! BD needs to be more assertive.
The CS is probably the
The CS is probably the simplest to get shifted. Just make sure that DH nails BM's ass to the wall for CS. Shit parent or not, she should be providing for her children.
As for terminating BM's parental rights. Not likely short of her being a crack dealing crack head selling in school zoines, child porn prpoducer, Presidential assassin and even then one of the usual robbed idiots on the family law bench might just award her visitation.