Adoption
This is my first time joining a step parent group, not really sure how it works...
My husband and I obtained full physical custody of his son over a year ago with no visitation to his bio. She suffers from untreated mental health issues and drug addiction. She has 3 other children (custody of none) but is delusional and thinks one day she’ll get custody back, and will never willingly sign over her legal rights. She relied heavily on the child support to support her addiction and has taken some unsavory avenues since losing the custody battle for money. She recently found a new guy to take pity on her, and she’s moved out of state with him.
By moving out of state, does she lose her legal rights?
I’d sincerely like to adopt my stepson and he’d like me to officially/legally be his adoptive mom, as well.
His bio isn’t even allowed in the same room as him, is no longer in the same state/time zone as him and clearly can’t make healthy choices for herself, so why should she still have a legal say?
Any advice would be great!
Talk to a lawyer each state
Talk to a lawyer each state in different. I was adopted by my stepdad when I was younger (about 30 years ago, but here the rules haven't changed). My parents found a loophole. My bio was in jail and "lost in the system". They sent notices of the hearing for adoption to his last known address and posted notices in the local paper and since he never responded or showed up to court my stepdad was able to adopt me. It was a long process, over a year. If you think you guys can avoid her for that long I think you have a shot!
No, moving out of state does
No, moving out of state does not automatically make her lose her rights. Does your DH have sole legal and physical custody? It is possible for BM to still legally be SS's mother, but she may not actually have any say over his care and wellbeing.
The onlt way to really resolce this is through the courts. Talk to an attorney and find out what is and isn't feasible. From what I have seen on here, the sticky part comes if BM gets served and decides to show for court. Some places have multi-year no contact laws that state a parent has to be completely disconnected from the kid for a given period of time before their rights can be terminated, but the parent has to be notified (or attempted to notify) that their rights are being terminated so they can be defend themselves. BM could come back for a day or two then disappear, and then you're back to waiting again.
If the concern is what will happen to SS if something happens to his dad, consider legal guardianship. This will give you many of thw same righta and responsibilities in the interim.
You could probably offer her
You could probably offer her some money, as a "living expense reimbursemant" (bribe), and she'd sign real quick, but dunno if that would give grounds for appeal or she could take the money and change her mind, you need a lawyer to tell you that. We almost did that with our BM, our lawyer said we could, but we decided not to so we never got into the details.
Definately get an attorney to
Definately get an attorney to map out your options and strategy for adopting Skids.
I adopted mine... but at his request when he was 22. We discussed it when he was a minor and we even offered to adopt the SpermIdiot's three younger all out of wedlock spawn by two other baby mammas to give them half a shot at a decent life. But.. we were shot down on that offer by the SpermClan who proceeded to whine, bitch and moan about how the pittance they were paying in CS was starving the three younger kids and wasn't fair. blah, blah, blah......
Get an attorney. Moving out
Get an attorney. Moving out of state is cause to lose custody, not rights. She already lost custody. BUT since she doesn't have any custody and is basiclaly not the parent, as long as you're willing to step in, a judge may be willing to step in and relinquish her rights so you can adopt.