Being treated as invisible by teenagers...who can relate?
This has probably been asked more than once, but, does the following happen to anyone else? The kids only address their Dad in conversation or in relation to anything involving you. Ex. You and your husband/bf are in their car on the way to pick up the kids. The kids see both of you in car and say "Dad is coming with the car". "Dad, guess what happened today" "Dad, I need help with..." And you will be sitting right there ! Does this annoy/hurt anyone else, or am I going crazy here?? Thank you in advance for your insights!
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Hmmmm, yeah I went back to
Hmmmm, yeah I went back to check and you have 6 Skids that just came to live with you and you are still there. As soon as those kids arrived, my bags would have been packed and I would have bolted. There is no d$%k on earth worth this crap.
Yep, I’m still there...
Thank you for your brutally honest comment! It really means a lot. Comments like yours pack a punch in a good way! Make me think that maybe I do have options...
SD22 Feral Forger
Used to do that.
SD15 Backstabber/Munchkin has started to do that too. We USED to have a good relationship. The thing is, when its a step-family the bio parent will always be acknowledged above the "outsider steo". Unless the kids have been raised to be respectful of others.
Yeah. Run.
Thank you and sorry you get dissed too!!
I appreciate your reply, but sorry this happens to you. It feels awful to be the outsider, so I get it!! And I feel bad that you and your SD used to get along. I hope things improve. You deserve better!
Well, are you invisible as in
Well, are you invisible as in they don't speak to you, at all, or ignore you when you speak to them, or that they use, "Dad", instead of "Dad and stepgf212"?
Because, honestly, I get the "Dad" thing, as that is who their relationship is with. Should they really have to say, "Dad and stepgf2121 are coming with the car"? "Dad and stepfg212, I need help with...."? What's wrong with them asking their dad, and just their dad, for help?
"Dad, guess what happened today"
Maybe they don't think you would care what happened to them today, so they address their dad, want to make sure he knows they are speaking to him. If I want to get my dad's attention, I say, "Dad", not "Dad and Dad's Wife". If she wants to join the conversation, fine but I don't usually assume she is interested in everything I have to say to my dad. I don't get offended when she addresses only my dad, even when I am in the room.
I think you are taking it too personally. Now, if they are completely ignoring you, completely excluding you, not responding when you talk to them, that is different.
Oh my God, he has EIGHT kids? Who cares if they ignore you, leave.
Interesting response!
Thank you for your comment! Ok, so you answered my original question. I'm glad you didn't sugarcoat your response. That was my fear...that I am being too sensitive. People have criticized me for this whole my life. And my boyfriend always tells me I should not take the kids' treatment personally. I just feel like I'm not part of the conversation when the kids only direct their thoughts and questions to their dad. He says they're not doing it to make me feel bad. For some reason it really bothers me. They do talk to me when their dad is not available, but I guess I can't shake the "outsider" mentality. And yes, he does have 8 kids, 6 of whom currently live with us full time. Six teenagers. Small house. My cat and I (the other one ran away, see past post) vs them.
Yep my SD13 will give me a
Yep my SD13 will give me a side hug when she comes in the door and one when she leaves out of obligation but other than that she pretends I don't exist.
She does acknowledge my children (With DH) which is a very weird sensation because she is all over her little sisters but completely ignores their mom (me).
Less is more when it comes to
Less is more when it comes to interacting with skids, imo. This dynamic readily satisifies the "go ask your Dad" mantra of disengaging.
It's much better than having a skid who is up your arse all the time, spying and micromanaging your every little move. There are plenty of those on here.
R-U-N-N-O-F-T!!!
And just for the record, Chef's youngest feral when he was only six did the "invisible SM/Ghost Who Cooks Dinner" thing. He would literally try to walk into me as though I wasn't there. I gave him a bit of his own medicine by being the solid object that he walked into. He literally went reeling back after purposely colliding into me. I don't play those games.