I am sorry, this may be long. 

I am a mom of 5- 17, 14, 13, 7, 4. I was married for 9 years and that is my oldest 3 father.  I then was in another relationship for 7 years and thats my youngest 2 father.  My children have a very good relationship with their dads.

I got into a relationship about 1.5 yrs ago after being wonderfully alone for a year. 

He is amazing, hard working, caring, loving...would literally do anything for me. Loves my kids, is really just an all around amazing guy. He has one son who is 11( we will call K) almost 12, and a daughter from another relationship who lives in another state, who is 18. They talk everyday..and are really close. His 11yr old lives with us full-time(his mom is a piece of work) We just recently moved in together-6 months ago.

I am here to vent because I am having a hard time. Its like he let K do whatever he wanted for the last 11 years..or maybe little to no direction in life. The only thing I can really do is just explain... just to give some examples...First off, this kids didn't eat much besides cheese sandwiches, plain cooked pasta, chicken nuggets and any kind of junk you could think of...I say "didn't" because I have certain rules--like eating half ass decent meals.. and my fiance has a mentality of pleasing me and making sure i am not upset, so he has enforced certain things like...you can't eat 9 (literally) cheese-sticks in one sitting--(or day for that matter). He doesn't necessarily agree with me, he has literally said he just doesn't want to upset me. 

He doesn't clean up after himself...and when you tell him to he acts like he doesn't know what hes doing. It's not just silly kid shit. It's like poop all over the toilet, in the shower...its WAY less now that we have moved in together. IT was awful...to me it still is because thats disgusting and my 4yr old would never even do that. Leaving piles of toilet paper in the toilet on top of poop and stabbing it with the toilet brush..leaving said toilet brush in the holder, tipped over with poop everywhere. And yes, we have had NUMEROUS talks about this. He will shower and not use soap, use dirty towel off the floor that stink, that would be intentionally on the floor to be stepped on after the shower. He has plenty of access to clean towels, has been asked multiple times to not use dirty towels. 

When you ask him to do something that he doesn't want to, its a war. I'm talking, screaming, slamming, stomping, swinging at his dad. Because he just "wants to play." And when you ask him why he wouldn't clean up after himself, the answer is simply "I don't want to". 

He has a flat screen with PS4, Iphone,  ALL of the freakin WWE wrestlers in the world, this kid has soo much shit its unreal. Will continue on a daily basis, to beg and prod for things, over and over...normally thru texts to dad because he knows its bullshit.  

So he broke his tv by throwing a controller at it because he was mad someone (one of my kids) didn't want to play a certain thing (which by the way is a whole other issue)....my first thought was..well looks like youre getting a tv for your birthday if it's going t be replaced.. (this happened in Feb. bday in May). Before a punishment was even spoke of, his father was more concerned about when he was going to have a tv again. not a week later he tried to punch his dad over something he didn't want to do, and got his phone taken. And every day following begged to have it back until I gave in....which was about 4 days later. If we talk about things like that, then SO states he feels I am too strict.. (when I am really not at all....). I guess our issues are more, he feels guilty when he has to punish K because of his behaviors and I feel no guilt when my kids are in trouble for something they chose to do..after FAIR warning what was going to happen if they continued. I don't feel bad if my kids are bored...there is ALWAYS something to do...my response is "oh well, find something to do". 

K thinks if he can't watch youtube or play with wrestlers (because of punishment) that there is absolutely nothing to do. And when I say I get so mad, I am under exaggerating..because we have every board game you could think of, a HUGE house and yard..a trampoline.. hes got a drone, a super cool RC car thats hes NEVER touched. I mean...action figures and your phone isn't life. 

I am just super frustrated already and it's only been 6 months. It's constantly the same things. Theres so much more stupid little stuff. Hes the only kid in the house that doesn't do anything to contribute to the cleanliness of it. Everyone else does whats asked, so I guess I hold some resentment toward the fact. and the fact his dad doesn't enforce things. He has a white board in his room his dad just had to put up, has the things hes supposed to do everyday-that he doesn't. Then he acts like he don't know what the hell he has to do. 

I could keep going but I won't. IT just feels good to vent, and maybe someone to tell me I am not crazy for being aggravated.