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Hating life

andrea's picture

We are remodeling so we have two kids sleeping in the living room which is frustrating. My SS is grounded for pooping in his pants (he's 7 and it wasn't an accident). He also kicked me in the face when I was tying my daughter's shoes at daycare yesterday. Then we went to walmart (out of paper towels and body soap) and he ran up and down the isles screaming and jumping aorund like a complete idiot. His daddy doesn't seem to give a damn what he does, because when I tell him he just shuts me out. No one seems to think that this child is capable of this kind of behavior. I told his parents that he pooped his pants and he told them that he was "mistaken" he didn't actually do it, he just told me that to see what I would say, he also changed his pullup and used half a roll of toilet paper cleaning himself up and begged to take a shower to clean up afterward. His mother believed him as always.
The frustration just never stops does it. Now I have to clean the house and cook dinner for an ungrateful brat who doesnt appreciate anything.
They also let him watch movies that are freakin rated R. Then he thinks I'm evil for not allowing that trash in my house.
GRRRR. I am so freaking irritated!!!!! just needed to vent

Comments

Conflicted's picture

The kid is 7 and poops his pants?? That is SO not normal.... that kid needs help... and to think that I get frustrated that bm and bf aren't attempting to potty train thieir 3 year old.... guess I need to re-think my attitude....

Pantera's picture

My ss9 did something similar but it wasn't in his pants. At therapy we were told this is not normal and that this was a sign of anger. His parents need to stop babying him. Maybe family therapy would help.

TheCharm's picture

Dudebug does that when he doesn't like dinner hoping we'll let him stop eating. One night the side dish was mixed vegetables. He was 5. He took one bite and spit it out. DH said, "Try again, son." Dudebug took another bite, tried to wash it down w/ juice and then "threw up" on his plate. The whole time with angry/pitiful looks up at us. It turned into a battle of wills with him and DH. I ended up having to make more vegetables and wash more plates because DH was determined that his son would eat the 4 tbl. of vegetables without any dramatics. It took a loong time and it was not comfortable. He didn't do that again until recently w/ broccoli. It still doesn't work here.

Stick's picture

Get that kid into counseling... yesterday!! I know I'm not supposed to post with "YOU SHOULD" statements instead of "try this"...... but in this case.. honey, I really think you need to get that kid into counseling.

If Crayon's Droopy is an indication, your SS is on a slope that does not get better and does not level off.

The fact that he kicked at you in the face and poops his pants and runs in stores "screaming" sounds completely like ANGER and ATTENTION issues.

I know it's hard to "fight" for a kid that's not yours... and to fight in the face of the parents... but honestly, it's in your best interests to do so, not just your SS's.

At this point, you have 2 choices...

1. Suck it up and keep quiet and continue down the path you are on...

or

2. Don't take it. Fight it. Make your DH see that you are fighting FOR his child, not against him. See if you can get him on your side. And if he gives you a hard time, ask him straight up... "What have I got to gain by getting this kid into counseling???" And that answer is "nothing" . While it is in your best interests to get this child help, you don't necessarily have anything to gain right away, or possibly at all. So you can answer "Nothing. It is all for SS." Because it is... your benefit is a bonus to that.

Best of luck honey. Please don't give up the good fight yet!! Smile This kid sounds like he needs help. And this is coming from someone that had to bring up counseling for SD over here to both DH and BM. DH was just sad that she might need it. And BM at first didn't want to - she was afraid of the "stigma". But whatever... it's worth it.

TheCharm's picture

A kid in diapers should be watching frigging rated R movies. That's just crazy. Sounds to me like he needs some tough love.

andrea's picture

He's in pullups because he pees the bed everynight and I am a fulltime student and don't have time or patience to wash his sheets daily. and I just don't want to.....

The kid is in counseling and has been for 3 years. He's been kicked out of 3 daycares and his bio-mom still doesn't see the problem ( I insisted on counseling if he was going to be around my kid). I think that the BM just doesn't want to take the time to deal with her child. and how do you deal with that kind of kid? We've tried spanking him, grounding him, taking away priveledges, making him write sentences, making him do extra chores (not that he does the ones he was initially given), he just goes home to his BM the next week and tells her how evil I am because he didn't do anything wrong and I grounded him and took his toys and dadadada...

I'm at my wits end here, I don't want the kid at my house! I know that's terrible, but I am the primary caregiver for this child and I am afraid that he's going to hurt my daughter (2 1/2) when I'm taking a quick restroom break. I hate being afraid and have to take my POTTY trained 2 year old (who does not wear pullups) in the bathroom with me.
I thought that when I put my 2 year old in panties at night that my SS would stop peeing the bed, he doesn't do it at BMs house only at mine.

My hubby doesn't know what to do with him because nothing seems to be working. I think there is a major psychological issue with this child.

thanks for reading my vent

Stick's picture

I feel so bad for you! I honestly wouldn't even know what to do at that point, because you are right - this child has MAJOR psychological issues going on. The only thing I could suggest would be for you and DH to meet with the counselor and tell them that whatever is happening is NOT working. The fact that he doesn't listen to any discipline and also does not wet the bed at BM's house speaks volumes. It definitely sounds like anger issues toward you, DH and possibly new baby.... but after 3 years of counseling, you would think the kid would be a little better.

What does the counselor say? Do they have anything to offer on his behavior? Do you think it's time to change doctors? Don't be afraid to change counselors. If one isn't getting through they may not be the right one.

Best of luck to you...

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"If you could only see.... what love has made of me.... then I'd no longer be - in your mind, the difficult kind.... Cuz Baby I've changed."
Sheryl Crowe - The Difficult Kind

LauraHelton331's picture

For real. I don't know what else to tell you. Or Nanny 911, if they still make that show. Otherwise, GET OUT!! I would die. I would curl up and die if I were you. That is insane. I'm so sorry you are going through this.