I have four kids (2g 2b) and my husband has 3 kids (3b). We have been together for 5 years. Our parenting we definitely different when we first started blending our family years ago. Prior to us living together my husband lived with his mom, because the mother of his boys are not in their lives. So he moved in with his mother so she could help him with the boys while he worked nights. His boys did not have any chores, structure, and we're allowed to run wild sonto speak when they were with grandma during the day. My children were had chores everyday, they had a schedule to follow as far as homework, chores, sports practice, bedtime was the sametime, and they had consequences of these things were not done. So needless to say when we came together all under one roof it was difficult. But it did not take long for my step kids to embrace the the new structure for living in a house that was kept cleaned, and learning how to do chores. But my youngest step son, has fought this way of life from day one. It has been a rough battle for my husband and I. He is only 7 years old, but is not shy when it comes to how he reacts to being ask to do anything. Even if it's something as small as asking him to get dressed for school. Just yesterday I woke him up along with all the other kids, for school. As everyone else starts to get dressed, he sits down on the floor and refuses to get dressed. He ends up missing the bus because he wouldn't get dressed. As this happens often, I go to my room, after the other kids are gone, and I cry like I do often when I have to fight with him to do simple things. I call my husband and tell him what my step son has done again, luckily for me my husband works 5 mins away and was able to come home. When he comes in he goes straight to my step son and starts to tell him to get up and get dressed for school, he tells gets on to him and tells him that he needs to listen to me Just like all the other kids do. With some resistance my step son eventually gets dressed. My husband then kisses me and heads back to work. The moment my husband leaves my step son starts to give me more problems when he is asked to put his shoes on and get in the car So i can take him to school. 

I have issues like this every single day with him. No matter what it is, if I am the one who asks him to do something he will either not do it, or he gives me problems. I am at a loss here. I do not have these issues with any of the other 6 kids. I have a great relationship with the other kids. We joke and laugh, and when I have to be Stern With them, they listen to me and respect me, even though they don't necessarily enjoy getting a lecture,or being made to do chores, they still do it. Now I have what I would call normal issue with the other kids, like fighting with their siblings, or not picking up after theirselves, not completing their chores. Things of that nature. But there is not a day that goes by that my husband and I don't have with our youngest son. We have had him see a councler, he has been tested for everything you can think of. Nothing that should she's light on why he is constantly acting out. I feel like he just hates me on a daily basis. I have she'd alot of tears over the years. He has issues getting along with his siblings and he is starting to disobey my husband more and more each day. We have tried to make a really big deal when he does something good to show him a positive behavior gets a positive reaction. We have disciplined him in every way you can think of, from, grounding him from toys, to giving him extra chores, time out, writing sentences, reading to Bible for 15 minutes. My husband and I do not know what to do anymore and it's really affecting the whole family. The other kids get upset because we have to dedicate so much of our time dealing with him, that they feel ignored. And as a mother of 7, trying to make time for each kid and your husband is hard. Is there anyone else going through this same issue? Does anyone have any advice at all, I'll even settle for words of encouragement lol. I just feel like a failure as a mother/step mother. And it's very hard on your heart when you love a child and they just don't show you any love back. PLEASE HELP!