The BM just wont let up and be reasonable with common sense...
So my husband and I decided to fix one of his boy's locs becasue of his texture of hair. Please keep in mind that I am a license hairstylist and I know about all textures of hair. His BM does not know a thing about hair...PERIOD!! She can't even do her daughter's hair since she is mixed right along with her boys too. We decided to not start the boys hair with locs a while back because they were being disrespectful and causing confusion at home. When we told her that, she decided to be spiteful and go and get their hair done. We get it, those are her boys as well. BUT she has been going against our discipline whenever it came down to it with the boys. For and example, if we say no sweets for a day, that same day, she came and droppe off sweets to them.. My husbdand told her today that we would fix one of his boys' hair since it looked like nobody was doing it. She had an attitude and ended up getting her mother on the phone to argue with my husband. His son had chose his mom to do his hair instead, not understanding that she only have hairspray and oil, which is not the right way to do locs. When she destroys his hair, I will not fix it. My husband will cut it. As of now, I will be permanently stepping away from taking care of them, even when DH is at work. they need to fend for themselves, I'm tired of being the one to clean up the BS or my DH cleaning it up just for the kids' mom to come in and ruin everything. My kids is all I will look out for as well as my DH, my stepkids have their mom. Oh no wait!!! She has no custody of them and can barely raise them nor their sister who she just got back from foster care. Now we see that she is also showing them how to manipulate people into starting confusion.
- NattyLocsQueen's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Hair is such a battle ground!
Hair is such a battle ground! I also have my cosmetology license and because of that BM dropped of skids with full blown lice and left the state for the weekend. I think I had to deal with it 3 times. Dad has a good plan, keep it short and there is nothing to battle over.
Know that she does this and choose if and when to participate with skids. Maybe you can bait her into a less stressful battle, one that won't show so much. One that won't bother you at all and will keep her busy. You have a HCBM so you have your hands full.
You're absolutely right.. lol
It's the fact that she puts herself in situation that she know she don't know how to get herself out of. Everyone knows about me doing hair. Not mention my work speaks for itself. I've been having my locs for 3 years now. Nobody has done mine and my daughters but me. Our hair is healthy. I'm not so sure how to bait her into another situation, honestly though. lol The reality of the whole thing is, I was suppose to be the all fun stepmother while she be the mother. Except.. I came into my husband's life to where is he was the mother and father since she stepped out. The only reason why she is putting on a show now, is because I am here and she was tired of the town bad mouthing her. I use to cry over the drama literally, but now, I am cold hearted because I don't have time to entertain her nor her kids who are unable to make up their minds because she is teaching them how to start mess at my home. I have spoken with my husband about what he would like for me to do or care for his kids because of the situation of his BM being an idiot, he told me to just do the bare minimum and just take a day at a time from there. He said that it is obvious that she and her mother were pretending to be on the same page with us and don't want us to be parents to his kids.
I honestly cannot kick her ass. Otherwise, I'll go back to jail for violation of the No Contact Order, even though she kept coming to my home. So I will make sure that she goes instead of me, should she come her ass back here again. My husband is fully aware also. I can't do these games with her again. Life is too short. lol
Sewing was the thing that she
Sewing was the thing that she continues to try to do better. I actually sew for money; custom and alterations. Have for 25+ years. When OSD was living with DH , she begged me not to hem her band pants. It was life or death in her voice. God forbid I was better than something she dabbled in. That was 9 years ago. Skids are grown and in 20's now but I have seen pictures online and post from SDs about sewing projects. I just laugh internally at the sad posts. I know exactly what its about. These BM's are so insecure. Be glad you are skilled and are not pathetic. She knows she doesn't measure up and it takes no energy on your (our) part to drive her crazy just by being us.
I agree, hands down.
That's basically what sum it up for me. She never really been the type to do much. Her mom had spoiled her when her dad was married to her mother. She had a tattoo at the age of 12. Therefore, I can see why she is a brat for sure. As I sit back and look, I can see she is trying to do it to the boys. My husband is really seeing what is happening.
Having experience being a SM
Having experience being a SM since the early 2000's, let me share something sm to sm.
Keep far away from another womans kids hair. Don't cut it, don't trim it and do not style it different. Matter of fact let dh and BM do it all. Same for any changes to the appearance of the child in any way. Nail polish, piercings, tat's are off the table too. Just do not do it. Nor offer your skilled services.
I am so sorry.. I believe your intent is pure and kind.
. Lets say you are a stylist to Hollywood's Elite...BM would find fault with you.
Stay clear...focus on you and any kiddos you may have. BM and dh will deal with their own child.
Totally fair enough. It was
Totally fair enough. It was fine when my husband had me do their hair. But it seems that the BM had an issue with it. I find it funny that she had an issue with it, when I have always done their hair with my kids hair as well. She was not around at all but all of a sudden wanted a say so in it. The best part of the situation is that the CO states that she can only have superised visits, and my husband can do as he chooses. But of course, I've stressed to her that I will block her from contacting me. To not ever call me to ix their hair whenever it goes wrong as ususal. I do not want any part in the games anymore. Yes, I definitely will remain focused on my sweeties because it is not worth the stress of a grown spoil brat. My husband said that he does not give crap anymore about the ordeal because he knows she only want to find something to whine about and to throw me in jail for every little thing. Thank you.
I agree with this. Shockingly
I agree with this. Shockingly for me.. this is one of things BM didn't claim "sheeee should be doinggggg." SD13 has been going to my hair dresser (one of my good friend's sister owns the salon) for almost the entire time I've been with SO.
BM doesn't want to pay for haircuts I guess so she won't try that line on haircuts. SO would bring SD to a salon in town that did walk ins prior to me. SD was 8 when I met him.
She did however go through a phase when SD was 10 (and we were going through court) of putting semi permanent dye in her hair..... SD has gorgeous red hair and BM was dying half of it eggplant purple, fire truck red streaks... god it was awful. Thankfully that didn't last long. She was only doing it to SD because SO and I hated it and she knew it. Terrible.
See!! I hate when they use
See!! I hate when they use the kids to do dumb stuff llike that. That is exactly what she does. I am so sorry. I have a BD who don't care to see our son but I let that be. I don't find it profitable to start drama. For what? Our babies need us and if the other don't care, no need for the dumbness. These ex's are insane when we no longer are with them. lol
I agree, hands down.
What started the issue was everyone depended on me to take care of their hair since CPS is really crazy in Iowa. She didn't een worried about the kids hair until she saw how I was doing me and my kids heads. But yes, I will not help her with her kids anymore. I've told my DH that nobody is to call me anymore for anything since there's drama behind me doing what I have always done for the kids. Didn't know it was any issue to help children even when the BM knows nothing about taking care of them. What's even sadder is that there not in here care long enough for her to say much. We a court order that says she doesn'nt even have a say.