BMs alcoholism is getting worse

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She's barley functioning from what it sounds like. So bad that her family members (who are also alcoholics) are considering having an intervention with her.

she has been screaming and crying at skids most days how she "has alcoholism and it's a disease with no cure". She falling down drunk....peeing on herself.....driving on the wrong side of the road.

SD12 has a staph infection all over her arms.....PAS has caused DH to see her less....BM did nothing....even knowing that some cousins who they see daily also had it.

school starts tomorrow and BM got not one single thing for skids (yes there is plenty of CS). DH and MIL bought it all.....and had to run out today to get what was left to buy....BM had skids all weekend until this afternoon.

BM has never been called out on her drinking problem and it's BAD. Skids worship the ground she walks on even though she calls them names and screams awful things about DH.

Apparently BM has been an alcoholic since her late teens...she's in her mid 50's

it was bad always but it's really bad now. DH won't say anything....nobody will. She's a bully and everyone is afraid of her. And honestly SD12 almost 13 would have to go to a mental hospital if DH did take action......I think SD17 likes to vent to DH but gets so defensive is he says anything bad.

what a mess.....this woman is totally sick and needs help.

She used to at least take care of the kids needs....so DH is paying CS because she is the custodial parent yet she does NOTHING and he has to lately do anything that is important.... dr visits...all school stuff...all purchases.

something has to give!

No chance of emergency custody proceedings?

It sounds like the kids are being demonstrably neglected and are in danger. Any chance of a custody change? I think I'd start documenting things.

^^^ I agree^^^ BM is likely

^^^ I agree^^^ BM is likely to be dead within a year or two if she goes on like this, but in the meantime, she is causing her kids terrible emotional and physical damage.

DH would never. SD12 won't

DH would never. SD12 won't even sleep at our because she can't stay apart from BM (guilt and PAS over the years). SD12 would totally freak out.....and not to be a total jerk...but I have enough on my plate.

i think DH should at the least call BM out.....but he won't. It baffles me. But let's be honest....all she would do is scream and cry because he divorced her and then blame him...like she always has.

its just weird to watch DH and MIL fawn over skids and treat them like toddlers but say nothing when they are being emotionally abused and neglected by BM.....

Your DH and MIL must be

Your DH and MIL must be overcompensating, to make up for not addressing the elephant in the room: BM's abuse.

Does she have DUIs on her

Does she have DUIs on her record? She will soon, at that rate (if not more tragic consequences...).

Somehow she does not. A

Somehow she does not. A while ago she almost got caught...she drove into a ditch and hitched a ride home from a stranger....police showed up at the house later but at that point she just got a ticket.

My maternal grandmother was a

My maternal grandmother was a severe alocholic. She died from gangrene of the liver. It was not a peaceful death.

Sounds like bm is well on her way.

I think so. She is also

I think so. She is also mixing anti depressants....so it's just not good.

Please, PLEASE do what your

Please, PLEASE do what your DH can't/won't and call CPS. You can do it anonymously, and that one call could potentially be the catalyst for healthy change.

My DH's mother was a piss-on-herself-while-passed-out, can't-remember-where-I-left-my-car drunk, and her addiction had an impact on all of her kids. Goggle "traits of children of alcoholics", to see the sentence she's imposing on your skids.

You know I wish I could but I

You know I wish I could but I can't. It would have a more negative Impact on me and my life.....at the end of the day skids aren't my concern.....I have my own 4 kids and myself to worry about.....not that I wish ill will on skids.....but dang they have a dad, 2 grandmas, a grandpa and a slew of aunts and uncles who all know what's going on and live in the same town.....

Be careful

Or SK will be living with you. SK are all ready screw up. They will be that way for life. You really don't want screw up SK living with you. Talk about HELL

Yeah that won't happen....I

Yeah that won't happen....I won't have it.

this drunk idiot just needs to get it together.

She will not get it together

She will not get it together until she reaches her bottom. She has not reached it it, and will not until she is held accountable for her actions. She is driving drunk. If she drunk drives with the kids in the car, the results can be fatal.

There is no good solution here. All of them have consequences that no one wants.

This is such a frustrating

This is such a frustrating post, I understand your DH has been PASed, but the fact that he won't do anything shows he's just as neglectful a parent as BM.

I'm amazed that DH "would

I'm amazed that DH "would never" go after custody to protect his kid because he is lacking the testicles to deal with the freak out by a 12yo.

smh

Well if it were that simple..

Well if it were that simple....but it's not. He would have to prove all this stuff.....which is hard to do. Just telling his attorney isnt gonna cut it. And quite frankly we don't have thousands and thousands of dollars laying around to fight BM and she would fight hard.......It would be a long pointless battle.... one that I'm not willing to be around for.....or spend my households money on....

He could get her for medical

He could get her for medical neglect of the 12 year old seeing as Staph infections can kill.

My thought too. Staph

My thought too. Staph infections will kill you. Any man that would let his child go through this is not worth his salt. I guarantee that I wouldn't be paying chlld support to a drunk piece of shit BM that is neglecting her children. If he gets custody, then he can work on the 12-year's PAS. She may love her mother but she will probably love a clean house, food, not being sick, and some stability too. She doesn't have control of the toxic situation, but the father does.

BM still has days where she

BM still has days where she functions...she still makes it to work....they do have food....she is coherent enough hours to play Disney mom to make up for the previous nights drunk ness.

like instead of making sure the kids have school supplies she will bring home a new puppy.

also I don't want him to have custody....so there's that.

Plan around it ... If SD starts getting problems with the school over the next 6 months to a year you might want to get legal advice on what can be done.

Sometimes it’s not in the best interests of the child to let the child decide where to live.