PSA: just say NO to any form of cash apps
I could pull my hair out....
having skids set up any form of a cash app is a terrbile idea. I'm going to confront Dh I just don't know what do say.....
SD17 has a job and has kept it for a few months....oddly DH is giving her more money than ever....uh she has a job and don't forget he pays a tons of CS.
so how does it make sense that she works a 6 hour shift and on the same day he is sending her 20, 30 or 40 dollars? It's at least once a week....for the last few months so she can buy fast food or shop....
BM takes out her money to pay for her car insurance and gas....and puts some in savings....so my opinion is that this is BM and SDs way of still getting more money from Dh even though he said NO to helping with the car....who in their right mind would pay toward a car in their exes name...maybe if he wasn't forking over so much CS while having skids half the time....
we are up to $150 for the month of October....
with that being said....I might not be as annoyed if she maybe lifted a finger around the house.....not once has she so much as put a dish in the sink.
Grrrrr
Cash apps do work great for
Cash apps do work great for convenience (don't have to withdraw cash, can track what was given and why) when the parent isn't overindulgent!
We have the flipped car situation: DH and I bought a car for OSS's use, and we cover all insurance and maintenance, including some money towards gas. OSS is responsible, and it saves us a ton of time and effort driving him around, including back and forth from BM's (and he helps drive the younger kids around too).
So I don't begrudge the cost, and I wouldn't want BM involved in car costs and ownership since it's our property -- but it would be nice if she contributed towards his gas at least, since he's also saving her time and driving costs on her parenting days. ($150 would be excessive, though.)
In this case Sd is not
In this case Sd is not allowed to bring her car to our house since DH didn't contribute...I guess CS doesn't count as contributing...at 1k per month I say it's contributing....
my issue is that SD has a job now....but if she gets her nails done she thinks DH should pay her back. WTF. My point is that he is giving her more cash more often than he did when she wasn't working.....makes no sense.
and I mean...she is paying for her car yet it's still not allowed at our house.....that may make a difference in how I feel about it since it would save DH the trips back and forth....
Nevermind - if she can't
Nevermind - if she can't bring the car to your house, that's completely different!
At least you can see and track what your DH is giving her with the cash app, instead of him slipping her cash...
Do you have a joint account?
Do you have a joint account? If so, withdraw an equal amount each time your H does this. Either spend it on the other kids, or put it in a rainy day fund.
We do and yes that's exactly
We do and yes that's exactly what my first thought was.
Just say NO is right.
Just say NO is right.
Nothing like double dipping.
YES to what EXJULIE said ^^^
It's a horrible thing....
It's a horrible thing.....instant access to money on demand.
I think he's supposed to buy her lunch and gas while she works and then any clothing she wants from the store where she works....so basically it's costing me a couple hundred a month on top of 1k CS for her to have a job. Not counting the things she wants when she is actually here.....
SD17 and DD15 are heading to
SD17 and DD15 are heading to the mall because my DD needs one thing for her Halloween costume....I gave her my card and said not to spend more than $20.
DH has sent $50 to SD in the last 2 days....who wants to take bets that in 10 minutes I see another cash app payment go out to SD??
i think what I will do....is each time he sends her money I will give the same amount every single time to all 4 of my children.....after all DH and skids are always about fairness.
Words don't work with people
Words don't work with people like your H. He needs to FEEL his hand burning on the top stove, and make his own decision about it.
So start Operation Drain Coffers, and when he freaks out you can blithely say "Oh, I was helping you keep things fair between all the kids."
I agree!!!
I agree!!!
The app isn't the problem.
The app isn't the problem. Your husband is the problem. I would suggest taking out the equivalent amount that he sends as supplemental income to SD and do something that rubs DH's nose in his choice and that would poke at him. Or... invest it in an account in only your name.
This kind of thing irritates me as a person who is firmly in the all income is marital income camp.
This is how my parents have always been and this is how my DW and I have always been.
That said, I do understand that in marriages where one partner brings significant assets to the marriage and the other does not that there should be some protections for pre marital assets. Though any income after the entry point of the marriage is marital income and subject to agreement on expenditures.
I know he is the problem. It
I know he is the problem. It will probably never change....
I am definitely going to start taking out dollar for dollar but like I said I will do it times 4....I immediately following his contributions to SD.
i am not even trying to be a jerk but damn.....
oddly he is sitting on the couch right now with SD13 who has talked him into getting her a kid debit Card that has a freaking monthly fee.....guess I'll be signing for 4 for of those as well LOL
this should be fun.