Bought a bike
Forums:
I have just bought a pedal bike in order to get away with my bios on weekends. Skids have taken their bikes to bms so won't be able to come on bike rides with us. How unfortunate. Anyone got any other ways to get away from skids without it looking like I'm trying to leave them out? I have bios and it's easy to disengage on weekends when bios are with their dads family but when they're here I find it nearly impossible because if I tell my bios to do something skids will do it too. If I go anywhere I will get "can I come too?" "Can you do my hair too?" "Can I play too?" Which I understand but making it impossible to have time with my bios when skids are here.
I like the cut of your jib!
Keep finding things for you and your bios to do outdoors. A lot of skids seem to be couch potatoes/addicted to gaming, so perhaps embrace hiking, kayaking, running, etc. And don't forget volunteering. Most skids aren't taught to be gracious or empathetic, so they may not be interested.
Thank you
All great ideas thank you
Good luck
Hopefully your DH doesn't come up with the brilliant plan to buy bikes for the step kids to kee at your house so they can join you.
I would use my family as an excuse to get away with just my BS. The Skids weren't close to my family so they never wanted to go. Then bs and I would do what we wanted
We paid for the ones at bms
We already bought the bikes they went to bms house and there's not enough room in the car for him to bring them and both their bikes unless he gets a bike rack. Let's hope that doesn't happen lol
I remember this trip to the
I remember this trip to the mall years ago with everyone. The plan was to take my bios shopping and DH would goes his way with skids. I have all girls and SDs expected to go with us. I said nope , you are with us to spend time with your dad. Hard feelings all around but it needed to be made clear to them that we didn't always do things by gender.
OP, it's okay to tell the skids you are leaving with bios so skids can spend some quality time with dear old dad. If he ignores them that's on him, not you. No guilt needs to be involved in this scenario.
I think that is a great idea.
I think that is a great idea. In the beginning I would spend all my free time with Skids and DH. When they started being rude and taking me for granted and advantage I started planning more "Me" time. If I had bio kids I would definitely plan for us to spend time away from Skids.
I spend every week day with
I spend every week day with my bios just us so the quality time with them wouldn't make sense. We have had problems where his kids seem to get away with everything and sit on electronics all the time etc and arguments about how in this house everybody needs to have the same rules. So feel like if I do say I'm doing something with bios without you and yours I'm just asking for it all to go back to his having no rules because I'm the one who wants the rules. I would have to say that I don't like his kids and as a parent I would instantly hate anyone who said that. I don't mind sd12 tbh. It's sd9 with her annoying squeaky scream voice continuous in my ear, her lack of manners, she only eats certain foods and hardly any of it so she looks like she has an eating disorder it makes me uncomfortable taking her out anywhere in case people are thinking she's mine and I don't feed her (I know how awful I sound saying it but I can't help thinking it please don't judge) she never shuts up constantly jabbering on can't have 10 seconds without her chatting, we went to the supermarket and she twittered on for a full 5 minutes about how she carries a bottle of water I wish I was exaggerating, she's rude to everyone my mum and dad gave all kids some money for Xmas £25 per child (they have 6 grandkids and 2 step grandkids so a lot of money) rest all said thank you she said nothing. My parents bring them sweets when they bring bios sweets no thank you's there either, when we visit my parents she's constantly screaming and squealing no one else can talk about anything, she interrupts constantly, she breaks things and leaves mess all over my house, swore at my dd9, my partner made me a keychain for my keys just a silly inside joke one and I absolutely loved it and she tore it to pieces (I have kept the pieces but it can't be mended) she chews my sons nerf bullets so they can no longer be used, I know it's petty to feel like this she's a child but I don't want to be near her at all so I'm trying to find things that they can't be included in rather than things we could all do together. I said before I am to blame because originally as in a lot of these situations I started with the intention of being super stepmom who treats everybody the same but sometimes I just need to not be around her. They're here every single weekend. Dh probably feels like this too about bios because I have them 12/14 days and their dad has them eow if he can be bothered. He seems to have an easier time being a step parent. Could be a multitude of reasons or maybe he's just a better person than me
Well if DH won't set the
Well if DH won't set the little demon straight, nothing says you have to keep the truth from her. Tell her exactly why you won't take her. She's 9 she can handle it. Her behavior warrants having logical consequences and this is teaching moment.
If DH gives you crap, tell if he doesn't like it then he better parent before you do. He can't have it both ways. Your whole life will crumble under the weight of this parenting style conflict.
Wish there was a love button
I love this comment so much.
One of my farvorite positions
One of my farvorite positions as a SParent and one I used any number of times with my DW. "If you do not like how I parent and discipline then you can step up and get it done before I have to. If you refuse to step up then be quiet and have my back. We can discuss any issues off line and away from the kid when it is just the two of us."
What is the Skid visitation
What is the Skid visitation schedule? That likely influences the advice you may receive.
Every weekend
Used to be Thursday-Sunday every week but since COVID it's down to just weekends. My parents live pretty far so not really an option
Is your DH the CP? If he isn
Is your DH the CP? If he isn't then it is time to inform him firmly that there will be no more EWE visitation and it will go to EOWE whether BM likes it or not. The one advantage the NCP has is that they can refuse visitation while the CP has to care for the kid regardless. The CP cannot refuse to care for their child.
If DH is the NCP, leverage that.
I don't have my own kids, and
I don't have my own kids, and my partner is that delusional parent still trying to force the one big happy family notion, which is easier for him when we don't have our own kids yet, so finding excuses to let them have bonding time is tough. Probably bc he realizes one on one time with SD is not that enjoyable lol
i think it's totally reasonable for you to want time with your own kids. Say they want to talk about their dad. That would scare my partner (and by extension his kid) off my back for sure lol
Yep my SO won't admit it but
Yep my SO won't admit it but doesn't enjoy spending time with his SD. SD is juvenile at 23, eats vegan food (SO doesn't like it), doesn't drink (SO is a wine lover), and constantly talks politics (SO just agrees to agree). Its a strange paradox where he loves his child but doesn't seem to like spending time with them! Why do they think we will like it any better, lol.