Children do not get opinions unless they are asked for their opinion.  It is not until the late single digits or early double digit ages that they even have the mental ability to understand what it is they want other than what they have tried that they like.

Adults are parents for a reason. Parents raise kids and parents decide what is best for the kid.  Kids can take over that function after they launch.

IMHO of course.

As most members here will tell you, you do not have an SS problem, you have a DH problem.  Your DH is promoting this bad behaviour in his son, and only if DH sees the error of his ways will you see any improvement in the situation. Do you see this happening?  no, me neither.  Can you take this for another 8-10+ years?  You could try disengaging (see the section here) and put away all your breakable items for the next decade.  That's pretty much what I did.  

1. OK, DuH, I know that I doidn't break it, yoiu say that we can't be sure SS didn't break it, therefore it must have been you. Kindly replace it ASAP. And stop putting it back/hiding it in the hope I won't notice - it's childish.
    
2. SS, wait your turn, the adults are talking. Don't worry, you can say your piece when we've finished.

I have a SD24 and have similar issues. She grew up with BM who worked hard and had no strength to set boundaries or rules around the house. SD has grown up an over-indulged, lazy, self-centred spoilt brat. Living with her is impossible because she thinks and behaves like a 12 year old. She has terrible temper issues, sulks and cries like a baby at anything that's not quite to her liking. God only knows how she's going to cope with real life! To make matters worse her gran (my mother-in-law) constantly backs her. She just had a big bust up with her house mates at University and guess why? They couldn't stand living with her. It's actually shocking and scary to see what the future of our World looks like.

Anyway, what can I say that helps you? Well I'm no expert but these are my thoughts:

1) Stick to your principles. In my case SD's BM has been making excuses for her all her life. I won't buy her bulls**t and I have let DW know it.

2) Know that you are not at all alone in this. DH is the problem - not you. The skids problems are the result of incompetent parenting.

3) Where my situation differs is that DW knows the errors she has made bringing SD up and she is on my side in dealing with her. Thank God is all I can say because if DW was backing SD there is no way our marriage would survive.

I think you need to straighten things out, for your sake and for your marriage. You need a serious talk with DH about this and work out how you go forward. Mine is 24 and acts like she's 12. She is showing no signs of maturing and I don't think she ever will because of her lame upbringing. I think we'll have problems with her all her life.

The situation has to be resolved because if these issues are allowed to persist they will get worse and turn to resentment.

Good Luck!

As Kes said, you have a husband problem, mainly. Yes, SS is a jerk, but he's only able to be one because he's figuratively standing on his father's shoulders. DH gives him the power to behave this way.

If SS jumps in your conversation, say, "SS, I'm talking to your father. Stop interrupting." And if DH says, "Oh, he's just expressing his opinion," end the conversation and walk away.  In the future, do not start any conversations about meaningful topics when SS is around.

Also, pack up anything you value and put it away. Neither SS nor DH care about your stuff or your feelings about your stuff.

I would not be able to respect a man who allowed his kid to behave this way and be so disrespectful to me.  Perhaps that's the conversation to have, rather than focusing on SS's bad behavior - talk to DH about his refusal to support you and his ongoing willingness to allow SS to disrespect you and your belongings.

Nanny cams are quite cheap these days.

But they day I had to install cameras in my house because my so-called husband thinks I'm a liar and has no respect for me, so he allows his son to disrespect me, is the day I start looking for my own place.

I will say my SD just launched or should I say catapulted like a hurricane. One thing I realized is H has to be on your side it is  that simple. Your SS can be a brat all day but if H has your back he wont get far. So talk to H until he listens. It will not matter what rules you lay down if H does not go through will those rules.

I would not be able to respect a man who allowed his kid to behave this way and be so disrespectful to me.  Perhaps that's the conversation to have, rather than focusing on SS's bad behavior - talk to DH about his refusal to support you and his ongoing willingness to allow SS to disrespect you and your belongings.

This, exactly ^^^^

Every single time your SS rudely jumps into a conversation that you are having with your husband, just stop talking and walk away. I have started doing that when adults that I'm talking to interupt me and it bugs them to no end that I won't continue the conversation.

The "we didn't SEE him do it, so we can't blame him" crap pisses me off to no end. 

My formerSO's son stole several pieces of my (valuable) jewelry. Since we didn't "see him" do it, he couldn't "believe" he did it, even though he had been caught stealing other things, including money. (His grandmother also had some "missing" jewlery...but she "probably just lost it".)

FormerSO came up with all kinds of alternate explanations, including the homeless man that we saw walking down the road months previously had broken in, of course leaving no signs of breaking in, and stole only my jewelry (that was hidden) and nothing else. AND did it when I was at home ALL DAY on maternity leave (I grocery shopped when SO/his kid were home...to escape kid). So, someone was at the house AT ALL TIMES. 

The lengths guilty Disney parent go to "prove" that "nothing is wrong with my kid" is disgusting. 

If your DH has to see it to believe SS breaks things, then it is his responsibility to watch SS every second to ensure his precious is not blamed unfairly. 

Karmasue12 , read my previous posts on my now ex-SS12,, very similar story.  He lies , steals , bullies , vandelises my belonings and the list goes on.  My ex-DH would say to me "wheres your evidence that my son did those things" WTF,, like i would key my own car or steal my own money pffft!!!   You have a major DH denial problem ,,my situation only got worse and the SS12 got worse.  Thankfully one day i lost my shit and told them both to leave.  Daddy is realising now what a demon his kid is cos he has him all the time with no GF to play nanny anymore.   Back right off and let daddy do everything for his brat