What do I do
A year ago I met my wonderful partner i new from the beginning he had three children younger two are lovely and eldest is a bit hard work but we are getting there
A few weeks ago (before lockdown) we bumped into someone he knew from the passed when he was with BM she was taking to him then said I was shocked I didn't realise you and BM has spilt till I found out she had a baby and new it wasn't (partners name) as you had the snip. My partner got all flustered and laughed then quickly left the conversation
I couldn't really confront his as my mum was with us at the time
Now my issue is, I don't have children of my own and we spoke about this at the beginning of our relationship and he said he would want to have another
All this past year its been wonderful till this bombshell hit
What do I do
Well, i'd certainly confront
Well, i'd certainly confront him about this now! Maybe it is a long story; or, maybe it is a short story. Either way, you won't know until you ask.
I will add, though, that that is a lot of detail from "someone he knew" right in front of him and you and others (at least your mum). I find when nosy-neighbors add that level of detail around a group, they are usually either fishing (so it may or may not be true), or they are trying to warn others that this guy may not be all he seems. Either way, you have some investigating to do. Start with his story.
Wait, he told you he wanted
Wait, he told you he wanted kids with you but neglected to say he had a vasectomy? Yeah, i would iron that out.
Yep, real quick!
Yep, real quick!
If he lied by ommission like this, you darn well better leave him.
Dang.
The truth
the lady was talking about the kids in detail she knew alot about them by the sound of it she still lived near BM
When we first met we talked alot about kids and I made it clear that I wanted kids even if it was just one
He agreed he would want another
I was on the pill and my last prescription for it the doctor wanted a blood test before he gave me my next lot of tablets (I'm scared of needles)
I told him this and he told him this and he said don't go and leave the pills I replied I could get pregnant his reply was we will have a talk about that and nothings ever come up
We was in the car and was speaking of BM and how she needs to grow up and understand that he's moved on just like she has she's got a new baby he replied she only had this baby to get a him
So now my head is in over drive I love his kids but feel like part of me is missing and I want to have my own child and have that bond he has with his
We haven't used any protection in months and nothing
What if he has had a vasectomy how can I just walk away from him and them children
How? Really easy when he's
How? Really easy when he's lied to you," misled" you if that makes you feel any better. Still, why not be honest in the first place? What did he have to gain by keeping this from you? Selfish wants on his parts. Not needs, wants.
If he lied to you (including
If he lied to you (including by omission), I'd find it easy to leave. Having children of your own is a HUGE thing, and to lie about something that important is unforgiveable, in my opinion.
Run
Do not walk.
Trust me, his lies by ommission will eat away at you over time, especially since he was so gung ho about kidlings at the beginning, then when you went off the pill, still did not tell you the truth (perfect time to dontcha think?)
And you had to hear about this all-important detail via a conversation with someone. OVERHEARD it to be specific.
Red flags all over this man.
This isnt just some small
This isnt just some small white lie. I would def talk to him asap. How could someone you have a relationship keep that from you especially if you plan on being together long term. Good luck!