They will definitely be heading to social services for a bunch of handouts.  When they do, the social workers will provide them with GED and work programs.  Hopefully, they will take advantage of every program that they can and get back on track.

I have seen young girls heading down the wrong path do a 180 once they have a child.  I've also seen others continue to make one dumb mistake after another.  Hopefully,  your SD and her BF will beat the odds.

If your SD and her BF think they are grown up enough to purposely have a kid, they need to be adults and take care of business. Absolutely no way would anybody be moving in with me.

Of course, this really just proves how selfish and immature they really are but I would not be their safety net. Time to walk the walk. If the BF cannot provide for her and the baby, your husband needs to point her towards resources that will help. She does not have to move in with you.

My SD28 got pregnant at 17, as well. No way was that ever my problem. I never wanted kids, so for the opposite reason from yours, I wasn't about to be providing and caring for someone elses baby.

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this, it is very stressful, I know.

Why in the world do you believe you will have to house sd and her baby? DO NOT let them move in. I urge you to tell your DH that this is a dealbreaker for you and that he must make it clear to sd, that will never be an option.

I would remind dh that he was insistent that she contribute to your home when she dropped out of school and that stands. Providing help is one thing (i.e advice, sign posting, budgeting, helping with formula/diapers) but enabling her poor choices while effectively taking a giant turd of a dump on your family dreams AND your mental health is quite another! Tell him what that would do to you. Be honest. 

to financially care for them, their kid(s) and their partner because of their incompetence, i’d divorce him. No way is my husband financially being responsible for his adult kids grandkids at the expense of us having more kids together.

my husband can’t say we are not in a financial position to have more kids then financially take care of his adult kids and grandkids. I’d divorce him and get cs beforehand.

op, sd should not move into your home, it will be the demise of your marriage. She wanted to soread he rlegs open and intentionally get pregnant, she thinks she’s so mature and grown up to make these decisions so she can deal with this baby, her and her partner... this is a hill to die on!!

you do not want an adult ad, her partner and baby moving in because before you know it baby #2 & 3 will be here... you need to have a talk with your husband about the current situation and the fact you are trying for kids

I've been through a similar problem with my older sd. Getting pregnant in her teens not once but 2 times and having no means to look after herself having nowhere to live. And always trying to move back in with us. 

Everytime I said no not because I'm heartless but because where do you draw the line. If dh let her move back in with us it would of been a nightmare my quality of life would of been changed thrown into chaos and me and dh would of ended up holding the baby while she was off having a lovely time.

In the end she not my daughter not my grankids as much as I love the little tike. I do not want to sacrifice another 18 years when I've already sacrificed 10 looking after children that arent mine. 

Yes I might have signed up for the sk but I did not sign up for every generation that was too come afterwards. 

Just because I married someone with kids also doesnt mean I have to sacrifice every tiny thing I want in my life because the sk cant get there act together or arent raised right. 

This is where the line comes in how much are you willing to put up with??? Just to stay with your dh. I drew it with my sd and sgk moving in and my sd thinks I'm the biggest Ahole in the world you know what I dont care. Because if it happened or if it ever happens I will be gone the same day. 

She might be dh daughter but you can only ask so much of someone. Before they crack stephell is hard enough. With people not really caring about your feelings or what you want. Treating you like a second class citizen. But like all people there comes a point where you have to say this is enough. And be selfish because no one in stephell is really looking out for you but YOU. 

They will all toss you to the wolves when they feel no need for you. 

On a closing note bf knocked her up bf can look after her and put her up somewhere it not all just on dh family to look after her. 

Theres a lot of help out there for young mothers too. If she really need to find a way she will. 

Dont let the need for wanting your own baby cloud your judgement. Look after no 1 if dh cares enough about you he wont allow this to happen. 

As a person who has been a single mom yet has worked two jobs for 42 years, I resent my taxes having to support these adult parasites. 

Hill to die on.  You're still young.  Divorce yourself out of this mess the instant there is talk about moving those sloths in.

How did your DH react to the news?

I'm not in this exact situation, but I can feel your pain.

DH was a teen dad, the responsibility difference between him and BM is as vast as the Grand Canyon. DH was 17 and a senior in high school. BM was 18 and had already graduated. BM found out she was pregnant literal weeks after 9/11, so DH immediately went and enlisted in the Navy. The signing bonus went toward baby expenses. DH worked construction while finishing up high school. He married BM on his 18th birthday. Once he graduated (OSS was a week or two old at DH's graduation), off to the military he went!

DH has a strong sense of responsibility to his children (to the detriment of our marriage at times because he picks up BM's slack). I think BM purposefully tried to get pregnant (not saying DH wasn't an idiot for not protecting himself, because he was a moron for allowing it to happen) to get away from her mother, and she wanted someone to love and take care of her forever. DH had expectations of BM, and when his military career was cut shorter than he'd hoped due to injury, she fell onto the first dick that would "have and hold" her. 

DH didn't always do everything right, but his intentions were always kids-first. That's why his family has helped him along the way. That's why I tolerate some of his teen dad guilt. He knows he effed up.

BM? She rotates support as frequently as a toilet flushes water. New BF or group of friends, new activities she does "for the boys", she's constantly falling in and out with family, can't/won't hold a job. In my opinion, she loves the boys, but she is entirely too selfish to do what's good for them unless she gets some personal gratification out of it, too. She didn't have kids because she wanted to a mother; she had kids to fulfill a void in her own life.

Anyway, point is, BM being "responsibility impaired" has led her to always be someone else's problem. My stepsister is the same (though much worse). As soon as someone offers any help, both of them swoop in and drain it dry. They don't just take the support; they take EVERYTHING.

You have to draw a line in the sand and tell your DH that either you live with him or SD does, but not both. If she were actually working toward a better life, I might think differently. But let them figure out how to leech off others. Not you. Never you. Please hear me when I tell you that you'll be resentful as HELL if you allow the leeching to be done in your presence.

I think compromises can be made. If DH wants to give them a gift card to go buy stuff, let him (so long as it doesn't break the bank). But enabling them only keeps the baby in harm's way longer (one of my biggest gripes with DH; BM isn't a fit parent, and if he would have let her fall on her face early on, she'd either have shaped up or been the non-custodial parent). You are emotionally in no condition to go buy baby things or set up a nursery for SD in your home or play grandma to her baby. Just say NO now, and give your DH very clear boundaries on what is and is not acceptable.

Also, I feel you on the vas reversal front. DH had one in May, and while he has sperm, they're a bit lazy. We'll likely have to go the IUC route if his next sperm analysis in April isn't glowing. It can take a while for sperm quality to improve (up to a year since he had the more invasive procedure), but every month feels like failure especially since I know DH got BM pregnant without a second thought when they were younger.

This is a rough road, and you're still very young. Take it from someone only a couple of years older, it's not always worth it. I stay because 90% of my life is good, and the other 10% is manageable. It's not ideal, though. If it becomes too much, or if the expectation is that your life gets put on hold for someone else making adult decisions, then you need to really consider walking away and finding someone else. It won't be worth the emotional torture if your DH isn't willing to put your needs first.

Don't let this girl and her eventual baby move in with you.  The day to day resentment as you try to conceive will eat you alive.  Especially if your DH suggests even for a second that you "put your plans on hold temporarily to focus on SD."   She has a mother, her bf has a family, and there are plenty of services available to her.  You did not sign up for this.

There is zero reason for this SD to move in with you with her child. She chose to get pregnant, she can figure out how to support the child, even if that means welfare. The child has a father, and he can help too.  Gifts here and there of diapers and clothes and formula can be the extent of DH's involvement.  I would not ever agree to let her move in.