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Update #2: SD accusing granddad of touching her butt

I love dogs's picture

Now CPS is investigating BM's dad (stepdad but raised her since a baby) because when SD was being interviewed about why she felt unsafe, she said one time he touched her butt when hugging her. Again, she backtracked when being admitted, saying she wanted to go home, didn't feel unsafe, and wanted her phone.

Comments

Disneyfan's picture

Your husband should do what he feels is best for his daughter.  Even if that means  taking a leave of absence from work.  

I love dogs's picture

We can't afford that and I seriously think I will move in with my mom with our girls if he agrees to let her move up here. I don't even want to be alone with her when she comes up for spring break next month.

ndc's picture

Is this the same girl who called CPS on your husband for throwing a phone or something like that?  I would be very careful - she might be calling them on you next.

I love dogs's picture

I told him there's no way she can come live with us now  and he said she's  still our family.  Nope, no way I'm risking custody of my girls.

Livingoutloud's picture

She didn't call CPS, she told therapist what happened: dad throwing a phone at the wall and making a hole in the wall while being drunk etc Dad was so mad she talked to therapist that he threatened to sign off parental rights. He is a horrible father  

Disneyfan's picture

Well, you both have to do what you think is best for your children.  

No decent parent will make the choice not to be there for his/her minor child during a crisis.  

Honestly, you threatening to leave should not prevent him from moving his daughter away from the environment she is in.  IN THIS CASE he should be putting the safety and well being of the 13 year old first.  

If he nor BM can do that, they both need to sign their parental rights away.  That way CPS can find a foster family that is trained and willing to take in a troubled teen.  If she's lucky, she will find decent foster parents that are looking to adopt.

Disneyfan's picture

If that's what you feel you need to do, do it.  But what you shouldn't do is be a deterrent to a father doing everything he can to help his troubled, MINOR daughter. 

Livingoutloud's picture

She doesn't sound troubled to me in a sense of causing trouble. She is troubled in a sense of having unsafe unfit parents, poor girl has been crying for help for a long time. The only troubles she ever caused were in response to bad treatment by her parents or lack of parenting. Other than that she sounds like intelligent girl with good potential. If she was put in a healthy sober appropriate household she'd be just fine (if it's not too late)

I love dogs's picture

So why is she making all of these accusations in response to being grounded by BM when she refused to leave school on time to get her younger siblings? BM shouldn't have let her stay in the first place, imo. DH thinks her friends encouraged her to say these things. Then, of course, when she realized she was being taken away, she said she wanted to go home, didn't feel unsafe, and wanted her phone and to go to her friend's birthday party.

fourbrats's picture

assume that these accusations are because mom grounded her? Kids WANT to go back to abusive homes. Period. Every time! I worked for CASA for years and teens especially wanted to be in their homes. It didn't matter how abusive and they were often angry, upset, devastated that they were removed. Suicidal threats often follow the same pattern. 

Could she have lied? Yes. But she also doesn't have a history of lying to authority figures. When CPS was called on your husband it was done by her therapist for a legitimate reason. Your husband was drunk and acting abusive. Wouldn't it make sense that there is also some truth to her saying she is unsafe in this situation? 

Livingoutloud's picture

How do you know why she is making accusations? And if she is even making accusations. She says she feels unsafe. That's not an accusation 

Livingoutloud's picture

Why can't he afford to fly and see how his daughter doing if he works 50 or what not hours a week? Is it minimum wages job? You said you are doing better but you still just as broke as before. He needs to quit smoking pot and needs to put money aside for emergencies.
 

Why is he making more children if he can't go right by the ones he already has and if he is that perpetually broke. 
 

This dude moved from NM to Utah but it doesn't make him any better man than he was. Wherever we go there we are. He could move to a planet Mars he'd still be the same. I hope there is someone who can step up and help this child. 

Disneyfan's picture

Didn't he and BM agree to no CS in exchange for her having full custody?  If he hasn't had to pay CS all this time, why is money so tight?

I love dogs's picture

We have credit cards and money saved but there's no point in him being there when he can't even see or talk to her.

Disneyfan's picture

This is one story line I hope isn't true or is seriously exaggerated.

Why do some kids end up with such awful parents???  I feel so bad for all of this guy's children.

Harry's picture

If SD comes to you for Easter break and DH is working 50 hours a week and can not take off.  What is she going to do by you ?  Sit at home when you both work ?  DH will work and you are stuck with her.   This kid burn all her bridges, No one wants her. Because no one wants CPS knocking at there door. 
 

And worst of all, no cares what really wrong with her . So they can't try to treat it. 

Disneyfan's picture

Saying the girl burnt her bridges implies that she did something wrong.  CPS was called because of the father's actions.  The girl do not make the call, her counselor did.  As a mandated reporter, he/she was obligated to call it in.

The father has a history of drug use and drinking.  CPS should have been called years ago.

 

Cooooookies's picture

We are talking about the same man who drove drunk with pregnant OP in the car, threw a phone across the room near his minor daughter and still smokes pot.

His DD doesn't need to live with you guys either.  You cannot stand the girl and want nothing to do with her.  Dad is drunk, high and doesn't make good choices when it comes to "parenting".

I feel sorry for this girl.  All the adults in her life are not guiding her, parenting her or otherwise taking care of her at all.  Perhaps there is a caring aunt, uncle, older cousin?  Someone that will give her stability, normalcy, guidelines, rules and love.

Because it does not sound like it's the two of you either.  This CHILD needs someone to care for her.

Chmmy's picture

I love that they take kids phone away. Makes them think twice about false accusations or false suicide threats. Sd17 was suicidal til we made BM take her to the hospital. They took her phone and her clothes. Not a peep since then.