BM crossed a line and it is over
Yesterday, I had 4 cops show up at my house. One was from CPS. The others were just responding to a welfare check. Apparently, BM called the hotline again. This time she accused my 7 yead old DD of molesting SD12. Even the cops laughed at the allegation, as my 7 year old is half the size of SD12 and you know, she is 7. There was a swcond set of allegations against me and DH. None of them claim actual abuse. CPS and the cops had to investigate the claim but all agreed this has crossed the line into harassment. So CPS is planning to file false allegation charges against BM. That is a win.
After yesterday, DH and I had a long talk. We know that some of the information in the allegations came from SD12. Essentially things that happened were twisted to sound much worse than they were. I told DH that I could not love like this for a year. And I was afraid that the next set of allegations would be worse. My DH talked to SD12 who confirmed she wants to live with BM and she was complicit in this. So my DH is going to let her. So yes, BM wins. I just don't care anymore. I want my sanity back.
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I'm sorry, this stuff is so
I'm sorry, this stuff is so hard to deal with. You are damned if you do, and damned if you don't. If he doesn't let her go live there, then BM will just continue the pressure on SD and that's harmful to her. If he DOES let her go live there, she will be turned against him and live in an emotionally abusive environment.
I don't blame you one bit for being done with it, though. I feel bad for your DH.
I also feel bad for DH. I
I also feel bad for DH. I know how hurt he was after talking to SD12. I think it broke his heart to realize how involved she was. And, we just realized that BM is never going to stop until she gets what she wants. As if calling the cops wasn't enough, she reached out to my DH's job. We were afraid he was going to get fired over this.
BM has been working on this all summer, but to throw a 7 year old child into this is just sick.
Yes, it just goes to show how
Yes, it just goes to show how little she cares about her kids and how badly she will hurt them (and anyone else) to get what she wants. I assume this is about now being able to collect Child Support for the kids?
As hard as it is, all DH can do is see them as the victims they are, and keep the lines of communication open so they know that they can come back when they are ready. In your case, BM is abusive enough to them that they will be back.
Yes, CS has already been
Yes, CS has already been mentioned. My DH told BM that he will contact his lawyer Monday to draw up a new visitation order and CS papers. His lawyer told him that he will probably be able to do it all in mediation. If not, he will ask the court to set a visitation schedule first, as CS is based on how many days my DH gets. I just wonder what will happen when BM starts refusing to send her for visitation.
DH spoke to SD for a long time yesterday. She told him that she wants to visit us. And he told her the door is always open for her. He has no plans on going anywhere. We hope that she will someday see BM for who she is.
She will, but not for another
She will, but not for another 12-15 years. Even though my SS19 came back from PAS after 3.5 years, he still doesn't really understand what happened to him.
DH should just take care of himself and not let this break him. He's the only healthy parent they have and when they do come back, they need him to be whole and thriving.
No one can say you didn't try.
I feel for you all. There are people who see no morale barriers to acquire their goals. It is impossible to succeed with them because they will destroy everything, even their own children and innocent children to win. I hope you find peace. You deserve some.
Its unbelievable how
Its unbelievable how effective PAS can be. SD has lived with us for 5 years and had minimal contact with BM most of the time. And yet, she still managed to PAS out. I will never understand it.
She probably wants a loving
She probably wants a loving relationship with her mother, and she's been fooled into thinking she's going to get it. She won't. As soon as BM has the custody and the money, things will change over there for SD.
Going to make a bold prediction.
Now that BM has the money. Visitation won't be a problem. After a while she will leave YSD with you longer and longer. Do take protection for your kiddo and yourselves. I refused to have visitation with step grand kids when their parents were trying to break up my marriage and get rid of me. You do what you need to do with people who have no bars on their behavior. You are good people. Never forget who you are.
Maybe. BM in our situation
Maybe. BM in our situation got the money and took 100% custody just to be sure she could punish DH and make sure SS never had a positive relationship with him. Others dump the kid off on the other parent. Considering this BM lost custody for years, I doubt she'll be the dump-off sort.
I bet SD12 is begging to come back within 6 months, though.
I am so sorry your family had
I am so sorry your family had to go through that. Even though the allegations were absurd and Bm will have something brought against her, I cant imagine the immediate fear and betrayal you felt.
This is a huge fear of mine. Even though we keep fighting for my SS, this scenario plays in my head far too often.
False allegations of abuse
Im sorry you and your family are going through this terrible ordeal. Thats too bad that SD12 doesnt understand the harmful affects these allegations have. My SD13 has the presence of mind about false allegations, and the harm they can do, because I have discussed this with her, many times.
And this is exactly why DH doesnt have any type of relationship with his edlest, Feral Forger. Her false allegations really did more damage that she understands.
Nail in the coffin
Skids at ages ten, eight and four lied their asses off to CPS to "make mommy happy" Chef had started to lay down some specks of rules and they didn't like that because they had no rules at the Girhippo's.
Today they are all PASed out POS with part time minimum wage jobs with a full time job of drugs and gaming.
I'm grateful my bios were older and out of the house so it didn't drag them into the crap.
Follow up with CPS about
Follow up with CPS about those false allegations. Get all the documentation you possibly can from them and the police, and hold onto it. It may come in handy in the future, and can be used as leverage in negotiations with BM.