Long holiday weekend take 2.
So Memorial Day was my partner's holiday. It was a 3-day weekend. It was hell. There was poop. There was pee. you can read my past posts. I don't want to go into it again. I ended up leaving with my kids and going to stay at a hotel.
Monday he informed me that it was his holiday again and this was after I took Friday off so I could have a four-day weekend at home chillaxing. Once it occurred to me that it was NOT his holiday (because Memorial Day was his holiday and it alternates), he messaged his ex-wife saying: "Actually, it's your holiday; not mine. But if you've already made plans I will take the kids". Of course the toxic bitch had already made plans to go away for the weekend.
To him this feels like a windfall. He's more than eager to have extra time with his kids. Me? I pretty much want to shoot myself.
We've been fighting all week after I told him that I need a break from his daughter.
I'm to the point where I might just go into work Friday.
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Aw no there's nothing worse
Aw no there's nothing worse than planning a nice few days with your so for skid to suddenly be thrown into the mix. Urggh, it's even worse when so is so happy about it.
I remember your post about the poop, surely your so understands you need a break from them and as it's not your holiday it should've been up to bm to find a sitter if she had made plans.
Go to work, stay out the house as much as possible, and have a long chat with so about how this wasn't fair on you and you are important too.
Good luck getting through it.
Can he pay for you to go to a
Can he pay for you to go to a nice hotel? Since he sprung this on you?
Grrr! I totally get what you
Grrr! I totally get what you are feeling - all of it! Similar thing happened to me last year and I lost my mind. My DH and I argued all weekend - upside is now, he has not done anything like that since. Do what you can to salvage your holiday and if it is a bust don't burn a vacation day on it.
I get that parents enjoy
I get that parents enjoy having their kids.
But your skid craps all over the house and makes everyone's life hard - can he really not see that it's not a good time for you and your daughter?
Maybe it's time for HIM to leave the home with his kids, so you and yours can stay in it. Isn't it your home anyway? Or am I mixing up stories.
Buy him a tent
He can take the kids camping. It’s cheap, lots of fresh air where crap doesn’t smell that bad, He can play DISNEY Dad in the woods. He want to play games, let him play in the woods.
Your biggest problem is your DH is doigthis without asking you. He has no respect for you. If you don’t change this, you are in for a long hard road, beside letting this kid play with poop and doing anything about it, There are many kids like your who do not do that. Just bad parenting, Second most important thing is BM May give up and dump the kid on you 24/7
The day I have to leave MY
The day I have to leave MY home because a 9 year old is pooping her pants and/or smearing poop all over my house is the day I would have to reconsider the terms of the relationship.
I do believe it would be best for the two of you to NOT live together, your kids don't deserve this and neither do you.
You’re the homeowner
You get right of refusal to having his kids in your house. He can exercise his visitation, just not in your home. I got to that point. I told my DH he could see YSD at his parents’ house, at his sister’s house, wherever, but I was done having her in my home. Yes, you can set rules when you are the homeowner. Don’t let a feral skid drive you out of your own home
^^^THIS^^^
Tell you SO that this doesnt work for you; that he should have discussed this with you BEFORE committing; that you already have plans for a quiet weekend at home so he'll have to make other arrangements.
You have the power, so stop martyring yourself and USE IT.
Darlin' you have such
Darlin' you have such patience. I don't know what issues SD has that she poops and smears it all over the place but this would be a deal breaker for me. To feel like I can't live in my own home in peace with a dad that doesn't step up his parenting would drive me insane. I personally could not do this, either you really love this man or your tolerance level is high but either way I hope you get some relief from all this.
Does SO have a mother that he
Does SO have a mother that he can go visit so you can have a nice weekend alone? I wouldnt want to stay there nor would I want to leave your DH with the ferals alone in what sounds to be YOUR home. What will they do to your home while you're not there. Ive read so many poop smearing stories on this site so Im not sure which one is your story but I wouldnt want that nastiness in my home.
He does have a mom who lives
He does have a mom who lives nearby. I don't think she is any more keen to deal with than as I am. But he has talked about taking them to his mom's for a while and he is also talked about going camping so I really hope that happens.