We live in the house behind his parents. Every evening after school my SD comes home but stays with his parents because our house has rules and she can't get her way here. But with the grandparents she rules/controls them. She also lies alot my husband didn't believe me until I taped her. I use to give her lessons but she has this trick where she scratchs,drops pencil , only wants to use bathroom etc to drag out the time so 2 hrs would pass and she would only have done 2 maths sums because she's always saying she doesn't understand and have me explaining over and over and she doesn't even attempt. (She expects me to just get tired and give her the answer) she is not dumb but she is lazy. Because when my DH tutors her she does everything immediately  because he threatens to beat her with a belt. (he doesn't hit her but just seeing the belt wakes her up) it's sad because I want her to succeed but she is keeping herself back. She has moved up in class but only because the teachers gives her wrong work correct (eg 2×2=5 they would put it correct because they want her to get a D instead of another R so she can come out of their class), they send hone her test papers and I go through it all and see clearly alot of wrong answers right, last time she got another R and the grandmother went for the report but lied and said the teacher said she got a D but put an  R (because she knew husband would be upset)after checking the results I said no she got an R also in a previous report the teacher used white off to correct a mistake so she would of used that again. The grandmother did this lie and it just basically hurt my SD everyone babies her (she's 10 now) my husband and i had to sit in her class for 3 hours and the principal came 3 times to say "now this is how I like to see ashley" my husband was embrassed. 

Also when school closes we buy everything from ribbon to shoe and she gets everything early but she wouldnt even attempt to do any work/revision over the holidays. And when she comes to the grandparents her mom wouldnt send her with any books. The inlaws don't like me so ashley uses that to get them on her side and now that she is disrespectful to them as well they try to push her off on me and tell me I need to talk to her and give her school work, I told them when I was doing that yall came and basically told her not to listen to me. My DH and I are all about education (nevermind my errors here ) so when we do have children he already says now people will see who was the problem. 

It's 2:40pm and I just heard my mil shout to my SD10 "Ashley go up the hill with a book"  

You are correct. All I do now is basically feed her. If I see she is going wrong I talk to her. But I don't do what I use to do. I use to do everything till I realised her mom does absolutely nothing. She would comb the other child hair but not my SD. (To the point where ras was forming) my DH would give her money and sometimes she would want extra but when the child comes by us she is hungry. Her mom never would cook or feed her we don't know what she did with the money. Now we buy the groceries and now my SD tells me her mom is to busy to cook for her

It's sad because ashley and I were close and now she is disrespectful etc I'll put this in another blog because the inlaws have a part to play in this as well