I read a lot of posts from people who have their step child's other parent still involved in the child's life and there is drama surrounding the other parents involvement. My situation is this my husband and I both have daughters from previous relationships where the other parents ran off. His daughter is now 12, she is really strange to me for a 12 year old. She won't brush her teeth, she walks out with her hair looking like Albert Einsteins. Here's her background her mom ran off chasing drugs when she was two, my husbands mom stepped up and played mom to her, she passed away from breast cancer when she was 7. The kid ran around like a dog used her foot to scratch herself and would chew on her dad. My daughter was barely four or five at the time and I had never been around children since I was one......so I thought maybe it was normal? Well as she gets older she gets stranger. She will not respond when you talk to her she will just stare at you and ask you what you want her to say. She will come home and just make total bullshit up. I mean just luring for the sake of it. She's supposed to be in 7th grade but she got held back in 5th grade so she's now in sixth grade. She calls me crying from the nurses office that she got her period when she had to go to her dentist appointment later that day I told her to take a purse.....she honest to god refers to the purse for which she carries for the sole purpose of discreetly carrying her feminine products an "adventure bag" which would maybe make me laugh if she hadn't been so weird for the past six months that she been developing. She told me two months ago as I was passing her in the hall randomly "I think I'm going to be late" I was confused and said "late for what?" She responded with a late Getting my period I don't think I'm going to get it for a long time". It's just utterly biArre comments like this that have zero timing consideration or tact that throw me off. I would have never said that to my own mother let alone my dad's wife. I keep in mind she doesn't have any other mother figure around but I don't know anyone who would have randomly said that to their mom for no apparent reason. She bites her dad and is always physically attempting to hurt him and says "you can't hit me because I'm a girl!" I've told her a million times that this isn't the 1920's and while a lot of boys won't hit her they will call the cops and she will forever have a criminal record. It doesn't detour her. All this would be one thing but she is constantly trying to draw lines such as with last names to exclude myself and my daughter. we were at dinner and she says all the SMITHS at the table tell me if you want a drink and I will get it. To which I in no uncertain terms told her my son will never be included in her segregation shenanigans and that because he came from my body he will always and forever be more kin to me than anyone else on planet earth. Which you can agree or disagree with but it's how I feel, mothers are the protectors and the nurturers in nature and I don't feel as though I'm an exemption. She glares at me if my husband and I are cuddled up or holding hands or anything. She is a constant source of tension and makes me very uncomfortable. She does it to her dad as well, one time at dinner she rubbed his arm to which he made it out to be a joke like she was trying to get to his food (which she wasn't) she was affectionately stroking his arm in a way inappropriate for a daughter to her father. My husband is gone a lot so she stays with me my daughter and son all the time. At this point I ignore her. I don't tell her to do anything I let her go out looking like something out of Oliver Twist. I've stopped trying I've told her dad I cannot raise his kid for him he has to take her with her or look up her mom to see if she wants her. The kid flat out lies to me about everything I don't even bother asking her questions anymore. Instead I talk to crossing guards teachers etc to get info. Because asking her is a waste of life. I've been defeated and have given up with her. I used to pay for her to go to horse back riding lessons and got her involved in gymnastics but now I'm done. I let her do whatever she wants and could give a crap less about the obvious double standard between her and my own daughter. My daughter doesn't deserve to have an influence like his kid in the house my kid loves school and really excels even tested into a school that wouldn't even try and test his kid based on her past grades and behavior. She's not the worst kid in the world but because of her general disposition and behavior I won't eat anything she makes or drink anything she brings me. The kid has serious issues that she sees a shrink for but the shrink won't tell us anything because of client privledges etc. she just says usually she only sees this behavior in foster kids etc. I don't know what to do except leave