My SS was not banned from our bedroom - he was allowed in if we were in there, and I doubt he ever went in there when we weren't. He wasn't that type of kid.  He wasn't allowed IN the bed, but he was allowed to sit on the bed, etc.

If you have a kids in bed or bedroom ban, it will need to apply to your daughter as well (once she's older - you can make a case for a baby to be allowed in there and in your bed, but once she's older, the same rules will need to apply to both kids). 

ETA: I was also not banned from my parents' bedroom growing up. If the door was open, we were welcome in there. 

I don’t like the idea of a complete ban.

In our home they know our room is off limits if the door is shut. They have to knock and we MIGHT let them come in. They know that if it’s open they can enter. They know not to dig around through stuff but can ask to mess with things. I have a lot of books that aren’t inappropriate for them. I have a lot of puzzles and toys that I’m ok with them messing with. Yes we have some stuff that they shouldn’t get ahold of it and its kept either up high or tucked away somewhere.

The kids aren’t allowed to sleep in our bed but sometimes they come in and wrestle around with SO and me. I have done our bedtime story in our bed.

We don’t have a very big home. If that was different MAYBE they might be completely banned but right now I don’t have an issue with the way things are. I was also brought up the same way. In my homes growing up we HAD to go through my parents’ room to get to the laundry room. They also kept the family computer in their room. As a teenager I would sit on my parents’ bed and watch TV with my mom. When I was really young and would have nightmares at times they would let me sleep on the floor in their room.

No kids in our room, either.  Growing up my parents bedroom was off limits and required a knock with permission granted even with the door open.

I don't want skids in the bedroom for any reason ever.  It it my space, the only space that skids are not allowed.  They have run of the entire house, they don't need run of my bedroom, too.  I don't think SO quite gets it but he respects it and enforces it without hesitation.

YSS will forget and follow me if he's in the middle of story telling while I'm walking down the hallway into the bedroom but his little brain catches on and he steps out without my having to instruct him. 

OSS is quite a bit different, will flop down on the bed and casually hang out.  Or attempt to anyway.  SO has to get on him about it.  YSS seems genuinely absent minded when he does it whereas OSS seems to know and not care.  Drives me crazy.  There's not much I ask but I'll not budge on that. 

I am completey on the same page as you. That's how I was brought up, same rules at my friends' parents houses growing up, and that's the rules I have always set in place for my biokids. They both know that there's no "hanging out" in my room and if I'm in there with the door closed they need to knock and wait outside until I answer. This was one of the many issues my SO and I have struggled with since moving in together. At first, his boys would "call" showering in "Dad's" bathroom which also meant them leaving their dirty clothes and towels all over our floor and using my expensive shampoo and conditioner. They would come in our room and lay all over our bed, open drawers and fidget with anything that was on our dresser or nightstands. I was soooo not ok with this and had to lay down the law with my SO from the very beginning. He didn't get it at all and saw no reason why his 8 and 10 year old boys shouldn't be allowed to hang out in our bedroom and bathroom. Luckily when he realized what a huge issued this is for me he quickly got on board and we have pretty much gotten through to them over the past year and a half that they are no to be in there!! 

I was always welcome in my parent's room (only if they were in there) so I guess I have a different outlook. My BD can come in my room as long as I am in there. She's still young though (3). My SD11 never even tries to come into the room so it has never been an issue, but I agree with what was posted above that stepkids do change this dynamic. I would not be comfortable having a skid in the bed, even just for the simple fact that you don't want any false allegations made (I'm not super concerned since I'm a woman but I would be very concerned about this if I were a man).

My SSs are banned from our bedroom. When I met DH he regularly allowed them to sleep in his bed and I told him that if expected us to share a bed, his kids (boys, age 8 when I met him) would not be sharing it, too...even when I was not around.

They are now fully banned from our room. In part because I need a space to escape from step-life and in part because they report everything back to BM, so I need someplace to keep things away from prying eyes.

I wasn’t exactly banned from my parents room, but I was expected to not hang around in there and I never slept in their bed, not even as a toddler.

Sorry, no unrelated kids to me allowed in my bedroom. Skid is not related to me, so no, he's not allowed. My two are allowed when they are sick. No kids should be just "hanging out" in their parents' bedroom. That's what common areas are for.

Only our room is upstairs so naturally our 2 toddlers are in there because its a huge room and we have their cot/bed next to our bed. 

Only ss21 lives at home when not at university and his room is downstairs.

at my husbands family home we have our private bedroom and thats our room. Skids do not come in to sleep in.

when i had just given birth to my son and he was barely a month old, door was closed, ss19 decided to invitite himself in, layed on my side of the bed next to our son in his bassinet who was crying and had been for several mins and starting to wake up.

ss layed there not giving a crap or to let his dad know bubs was waking up. I come in from a shower with a shirt on and towel around my waist and ss just stares at me... refusing to leave.

i gave him the “get the eff out look” and he promptly left. Seconds later hubby comes in while i’m getting dressed and seconds later ss knocks on door and before hubby can say wait, ss19 had opened our bedroom door. I was naked at this point. Hubby looks at me and the door opening and tells off his son “i didn’t say you could come in. You don’t knock and just invite yoursef in!! You wait for an answer, no answer, no coming in!! Ss says he needs to get his things from our room and hubby says they shouldn’t be in our room in the first place and why are they there and ss wants to force his way in to grab his things.

hubby furious at this point tells his son off to wait outside so he will being his things out. At our home only once did ss ever knock on our door needing to ask dad something but usually he just txt messages his dad. 

One time he decided to knock and open our bedroom door while dad was at work. I was naked and just came out of the shower.. i lock my bedroom door now and he never dares to pull this shit

sd at hubbys family home would bang our bedroom door shouting at 7am for dadddeee (sd23) for non emergency crap. But my skids have a bio mum with no respect for boundaries 

i am lucky my husband actually enforces and agrees that a stepmum needs to have her privacy respected so skids have no right to barge into my private space 

i don’t barge into your so don’t do the same

unfortunately with some of these skids the rules that apply to them don’t apply to stepparents. Honestly if a skid decided to move their chair or blanket in my room and invade it, that would be put on our front lawn....

SDs allowed in only with a knock first. I vehemently enforced this with OSD because she always had major boundary issues. It's one on the first rules I had to enforce over and over. She eventually got it. With occasional lapses...the last time she walked right in as I was dressing. Last time it happened.

YSD got it right away. To this day if we are talking and she's following me she'll stop cold at the door until I give her permission to come in.

I know OSD was in our room while we were not there, usually in the morning before school. I found barrettes and things occasionally, and suspect she was in my makeup sometimes, but it wasn't usual. I just threw away what I found she left.

In our home, any closed door is subject to knock and approval to enter... including bathrooms bedrooms basement area and garage. If it's open, you can enter.

Our bedrooms are all always closed, because I don't want the cat lounging in the bedrooms. I respect the kids bedrooms as their personal space, and I return the knocking/wait for approval... only No I've ever gotten upon asking is due to being in the middle of changing... I general don't just barge in even after getting a "yes?"... I'll crack the door open say what I need to and close it back when I'm done.

Even mine... if they knick and I say "what" or "yes"... they generally say what they need to through the door. Bedroom, anyway...they'll open the garage door because it's stormproof and hard to hear through.

Was never really a discussion... even with ss...at first, I'd just ask why he was coming in our room without asking... took a few times to settle it. No biggie.

I wasn’t banned from my mom’s bedroom, but it wasn’t necessarily a place I was allowed to hang-out, play in, or sleep in (unless I was sick). 

I was raised that a grown-ups bedroom was a private and personal space. It was where my mom kept valuable jewelry, hid Christmas and birthday presents, and occasionally engaged in adult activities. I was taught that you respect an adult’s (bedroom) space. That even adults were to respect other adult’s space. 

For the most part, our children are allowed in our room if at least one of us in there doing something, or relaxing. But then again, they’re my children.

With all that said, skid is NOT allowed in our bedroom - ever. That stopped the moment DH and I started sharing a bed, once we moved in together. 

My MIL has this same ‘problem’ too. Adult’s personal space (bedrooms), and thinking it’s totally okay to enter whenever she pleases. Just recently I had to tell her to stop, as I found out through our 3 and 5 year olds that she had been going in there while I was at work.

I would NEVER just go kntp another adult’s room unless I was specifically told to, it was an emergency situation, etcetera. 

My MIL was a bit cold towards me the next time I saw her. It was like her butt was chafed from me enforcing boundaries in my own damn home.