I have read over and over it takes 7-8 years to blend a family...

I have been part of this community now for five years and I have my ups and downs and I have come here many times to vent due to my blended family issues.

My husband and I have six kids between us, they all lived with us until they started flying the next.  This year we have had two of them away at college with the final two at home.  Every year on Mother's Day, I struggle.  My mom died a few years ago, my skids normally do everything imaginable to ensure I know I am not their Mother on Mother's day even though I am the one who washed their uniforms, packed their lunches, made sure they got from point A to point B...and who was always there for every single minute of their playing time and performances.  (Their BIO mom lives many hours away and only graces them with her presence twice a year.)

This year was the first time I was happy to great Mother's Day head-on.  I wasn't going to worry if the skids put on an elaborate production for their grandma and aunt and left me with nothing but avoidance.  This year I was beyond surprised.  The two college skids came in with big smiles on their faces and my heart sank, they walked up to their grandma and gave her hugs and kisses and a card, they walked up to their aunt and gave her hugs and kisses and card.  They both stopped at me, bend down and gave me hugs that lasted for a minute and gave me a huge card.  We all sat and ate and the oldest SKID actually sat next to me at dinner.  When everyone was opening their cards, I opened mine.  Out came two long letters handwritten by both of them.  I was racing through the first line and the tears started to fall....

The year of them being in college, realizing the sacrifices I made with my career to put them through a private university, all the times they said I went above and beyond and how I shaped them into the people they are today.   Then the apology, they listed just about every time they knew they broke my heart and apologized.  

Of course, I cried.  Then one of the college SKIDS said to me, being away from home and hearing how our friends have parents who don't care, or a step parent who hates them, made us realize what we had and what we don't ever want to live without.  This next part, really stuck to me....

Our dad is better off with you in his life, you bring out the best in him.  I am better with you in my live because I have learned to love and trust where I didn't feel that way before and because of you, I have strong positive relationships in my life....which is true...because they have changed since they went to school.  

This morning, when my husband dropped me off at the University, one of my skids was walking to class right in front of the building I was going into, I hollered over.  With a huge smile the SKID same running over and first thing, "Did you have a great Mother's Day?"  I said the best.  Then we started talking about finals.  

So I am going to take this moment and burn it into my brain.  So for all of us Step Parents, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I have wanted to give up a hundred times....but didn't.  Finally, when I got to the place where I wasn't going to let it affect my mood, I saw a change.  My husband sat there in awe yesterday, I think he shucked a tear or two as well.

Happy Mother's Day to you all!