SD16 acts like a baby and DH enables it

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My SD16 had surgery on her gums last week. It was a short procedure that she insisted she would need to be fully sedated. Cool, that's only a ton more money, whatever. I drove her to her apt in her car (so she could lay down in the back on the way home) which she freaked out because she didn't want to use her gas. DH told me to fill her tank up. More money, great. They finished the procedure and we drove home. She text a couple of her friends to come over and 'take care' of her. I dropped her off at home and went back in to town to get her meds.

I did not want to do this procedure during the school year. She misses enough school already and struggles in a few classes. She freaked out that we were considering doing this over the summer because she didn't want to miss a second of hanging out with friends. I get it, she's a dumb teenager but let's be reasonable, she doesn't need to miss school over a non urgent, mostly cosmetic procedure. So of course my Disney husband says that we (I, the stepmom) will schedule it right away.

It's been 6 days since her procedure and she's still acting like she can't go to school. But last weekend she spent the night at a friends house (2 days after the apt). She's gone to her boyfriends every day. The last two days she put a bikini on and sun bathed in the front yard for everyone to see. I talked to my husband yesterday about her sunbathing and said that I see no reason she can't go to school the next day he agreed.

So this morning I was expecting a fight with SD to get her ready for school so I sent my DH a text asking him to back me when she starts throwing a tantrum. He replies with, "Do you need her to go back to school? Is she getting in the way of your day off?" What the hell?! I said no, she's missed enough school already and didn't get her homework for today because we agreed she'd only miss 3 days of school.

I feel like an employee. I took her to the appointment, I've been giving her her medication on schedule, I've been driving her around, I've been cooking her meals, I'm also paying for it because BM won't, but I'm not allowed to have any say on any of this. I know she's milking it. She loves sympathy and being babied. She sends me 100 texts a day about every tiny thing and repeats the same questions over and over like she can't figure out the most basic things. Now my husband is acting like I'm being childish because I wanted her to go back to school. It's truly amazing how I'm the bad guy for trying to follow through on things that we agreed on.

Disengagement

just do nothing for SD. Let her BF taker out to eat. And your SO can do the everything else

Give your two weeks notice

Give your two weeks notice and quit your "SD's Caretaker" position. No way in hell would I do all that for a skid and have DH be an ungrateful twit.

WHY THE F DID YOU PAY FOR

WHY THE F DID YOU PAY FOR THIS!! You need to stop that shit. ESPECIALLY if it isn't even a necessary (necessary to keep living) procedure. You need to stop paying for this brat NOW.

Why are you doing allllllll

Why are you doing allllllll of that? Stop. Cold turkey. No more money, no more wasting your time, no more help, no more THOUGHT about it. You are done. Your DH has made it clear you have no say, so don't! NO MORE Responsibility without Authority.

And come to think of it, due to your "DH's" attitude do NOT discuss this with him. Just say no thank you, politely.

So this morning I was

^^^^^^^ Since your Disney Dad H lacks the balls and parenting skills to handle his daughter, you should take a step back and let him DO IT ALL. Why isn't he the one waking her up in the morning and dealing with trantrums? I'd be damned after all that you do for her....your H and her ungrateful @ss treating you this way. Really, he's being sarcastic about her missing days from school and getting in the way of your day off????

You know what YES this is impacting YOU and HE can have a go at it and do it himself. You need to stand up for yourself because he's taking you for granted and not appreciating ALL that you DO.....this man has some nerve and you need to shut him and SD DOWN!

There is nothing redeeming

There is nothing redeeming about your dipshit of a DH and his shallow toxic polluted gene pool.

Time to write them off and start a new life adventure with they and their crap fading to a distant unpleasant memory.

Take care of you.

I’d be unavailable to drive her to her follow up appointment. Dad should take her so that he can ask when it’s ok for her to return to school.