Oh please. I personally was cheering your DH on for his response. I highly doubt anything will come from it, he's a parent that yelled at his daughter. They look to see if she's in danger, which she's not.

Good lord... it is a sad day when parents can't take away a cell phone from a temper fit throwing teenager!

But he THREW it or did he just take it away temporarily?

These days, you have to be so careful and freaking walk on eggshells. DH used to get into yelling matches with Toxic Feral Eldest when she was a teen living with us. Never laid a hand on her, like EVER. SO now she is texting him how abusive he was to her her whole life. How he is now hitting the youngest (so not true).

They put this energy out there, and I get it, there are some kids who are getting abused, and the system is in place for THEM, not bratty teenagers on a power trip.

Just yesterday, DH was telling me that Toxic Feral checked out when she was 7 and the youngest was born and that I was just the most convenient whipping post. He was trying to cheer me up.

Egads.I guess youll just have to ride this one out.

Odds are SD exaggerated the incident.  She's a "victim".  Maybe it is time for her to stay with BM permanently.  Return her xmas gifts.

I was an attorney in this area for years, and in my experience of dependency, neglect or abuse they will interview / perform a house visit on both sets of parents.  In our jurisdiction, many times it was a formality, and they would recommend the standard course (address substance abuse if any, work with school counselors if needed, etc.) but not make anyone show up for court, etc.  They would typically go through a checklist and observe any known dangers to the children. As long as there is food in the house and no rabid dogs you should be fine.  On the other hand, keep in mind that once they are in there on-site, everything is fair game, including BM and her household as well.  It's a real shame that we are all at a point in life that the system is abused by kids who can't stand getting disciplined, but kids who need it slip through the cracks.  Good luck

I can't even believe they took that call, unless SD said he threw it AT her.

I do think it was over the top to fling it down the hall, rather than just take it from her, but I wouldn't worry about it.

 BM called DH "freaking out" to tell him that SD told her counselor about it and there is now an investigation.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  Really…just from throwing her phone.  Is there more to the story or did SD embellish it A LOT?!  You did say it was pretty dramatic. 

Man, I would have been investigated constantly from the time my DD was 13 to 16 if that is the case. 

 If the counselor actual did call JUST because DH took her phone and flung it…I would NOT let SD go back to that counselor and would consider legal avenues if something does actually come from this.  She is an idiot if she actually did this.  Could BM just be being dramatic? 

and I just want my family of DH, me, and our daughter.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 I hope you know this will most likely never happen.

So honest question here....Did the phone almost hit SD?  Or even close?  Was the phone threw in her direction at all?

My SS used to play up every little thing that DH did that could be construed as "angry".  DH yelled at him once for lying about his homework, and that set off a whole chain of events that involved police, court, lots of lies, and SS being kept away from DH for over a month by BM.  BM capitalized on every little morsel that SS offered her.

Unfortunately, while taking her phone was fine, hurling it down the hallway and breaking the case showed a loss of temper that BM will likely make the most of, if she's that sort.  SD might actually have been a little frightened to see her father act this way and that got built up into something much more than it was. Truthfully, it was over the top and I would have been upset by him doing that too. 

This isn't the first time your DH's drinking has been brought up. Might be a good time to give that a hard look.

Regarding a possible home visit, just make sure your house is clean and maybe, oh, get rid of the alcohol. What will be will be, so focus on you and what you can control.

If SD wasn’t harmed likely nothing would come out if it. Maybe anger management classes. But DH does have drinking problem. Don’t downplay it. Throwing items across the hallway isn’t appropriate. You’ll have a baby in the house and such actions could harm the baby. I’d insist DH takes care of anger issues and alcohol consumption. 

called CPS on us because Chef put SD in timeout for trying to kick YSS in the face.  It got run up the flagpole of course because The Gir WAS a CPS worker at the time and MOTY.  She used her pull, threw her weight around and got Chef immediately put on the NYS Child Abuse and Maltreatment Register sans a hearing.  Then her office "forgot" to send us the final report for refutation.

Inappropriate work duties was one of the "charges" because we had the skids empty teensy waste paper baskets in their rooms and pick up some twigs in the backyard for 20 minutes.

We later found our that the Gir would interrogate them after every visitation "fishing" for something distasteful such as chores which she could launch a phoney abuse charge.  She also had OSS, stb 10 at the time count the beers in our mini frig and give a full report back to the mothership.

She accused Chef of "splitting SD's lip"  which was laughable.   SD chewed her nails thus constantly had chapped lips and refused all lip balm.   Took me almost 12 months of paperwork to get it reversed as "unfounded."  Guilty until proven innocent.  Oh and you're only supposed to put kids in timeout for one minute per year of age of the kid...ridiculous.

The Gir was furious when I got it overturned.

Second time in less than barely six months time. Dad angry an objects flying. 

Whether SD told the therapist and therapist reported it or BM did it herself, really doesn't matter. First time around it was you and Dad fighting. This time around you weren't home and Dad was fighting with her (sometime he seldom ever does). My guess is BM saw the broken case and questioned it. BM was johnny on the spot (er, texting , when the last incident happened. 

Who knows what story SD gave BM (or the therapist, for that matter). Probably went lone the lines of how the poor starving 'victim' who hadn't been given food all day was 'terrorized' by her 'drunken father' who ripped the phone from her, hurled it, forced her into her bedroom and she was sooooooo scared. 

This is the girl who never accepts anything is on her. She cops an 'tude all the time an Daddy makes excuses for her. She sure as h*ll isn't going to tell BM (or the therapist) her role in all this. 

The man did nothing any other parent doesn't do. Yell at his kid, take her electronics/phone away and send her to her room. But BM an Dad have been at odds recently about having talks (about more stupid 'verbal' agreements) , possibly going to court blah blah. Dad having his fill of her attitude , mouth and behavior is actually long over due.... but depending on what and how SD tells the 'story' an that this is the second time of 'such rage' *gag* from Daddy, yeah, BM is very likely going to try to play it up.

Protective services, I doubt, will amount to much. Tossing a phone down the hall isn't exactly something they would act on. I don't think you have much to worry about on that. But what I do foresee is resentment building between homes , perhaps the end of 50/50 and BM pushing Dad out again from SD. 

I am giving my 2 cents as an alcoholic woman who is a biological parent and was a step parent (my skids are all adult age). CYFD does not like to see alcohol fuelled anger.  It doesn't matter if you are drunk or not.  It shows that alcohol changes your personality.  Back when DH and I were still drinkers, each time DCF came out due to SD dramas or the cops came out because we were screaming at each other, they'd ask where the kids were when the battle was going on.

I think you are in NM? If so, CYFD is on a major cover their a$$ spree due to the Omaree Varela murder and Victoria Martens murder too.  

I forgot to post my favorite DCF story.  SD had one of those gas powered scooters.  Wore a helmet and pads for safety.  She was showboating and ran it into a treetrunk.  She had a huge bruise on her calf so we took her to the urgent care to ensure there was nothing broken.  Told the docs what had happened and they said they were seeing a lot of injuries like that.  She went to school and was dressing out for PE class.  A classmate saw the bruise and said "Damn, girl, who kicked you?  Your dad?" SD jokingly said "Oh yeah, my dad kicked me." Bingo.  Visit from DCF at school.  Then a visit at home.  Then they had us take all 3 kids to the Children's Advocacy Center to be examined and interviewed.  When they spoke with the doctor at the urgent care, they were dumbfounded.  But...this is Florida and DCF has completely lost track of kids in their care.

I'll share my experience with CPS...twice. For background, DH has a temper but is not abusive and SS is a complete emotional/mental wreck.

The first time, we just moved to a new house, so SS was starting at a new school that wasn't aware of his background. He got in trouble, was sent to his room, and he proceeded to flip his furniture and destroy his room (which was normal for him). But, he then started banging and throwing things against his window. DH lost it and started yelling. Went to his room and found him throwing himself on the floor, so DH used his foot to nudge SS off the ground, so that he would sit up. SS continued to scream and cry, then DH calmed down. Then DH privately cried to me later for losing his sh*t. He made an appointment the next day to see a therapist for himself and he finally started the process of taking SS to a therapist (imo, this was long overdue. SS had anger issues amongst a whole host of problems. I kept pushing for this to happen, but DH didn't feel like he could get BM's blessing. This incident occurred shortly after she went away, and we had full-custody, so DH could send him to see someone). SS cried at school the next day and was sent to the counselor and the counselor called CPS. If any abuse claims are ever made, a counselor or therapist is required to inform CPS. A social worker came to our house unannounced when I was home. She said she had just gone to the school to talk to SS.  Her steps after interviewing me was to interview SD, DH, and BM's husband (BM was out of the country). She then also visited the interior of our house to check the skids' bedrooms. During my interview, I made her aware of SS's issues and I informed her of the medications that he was on. Nothing came out of it, it was dismissed.

The second time CPS was called, SS was making claims of wanting to commit suicide, so we sent him to a new therapist (his previous one said he was a-ok and stopped seeing him). Because of his suicidal ideations, she recommended that we send him to the hospital. At the hospital he continued his claims that he wanted to kill himself, so we sent him to a mental facility for a week. During his stay, he said to a therapist that DH held him down once in the past (basically restrained him for his own safety). This was true and I knew it. DH had told me when it happened because he was afraid at that time that CPS would visit us again. I got pissed at DH and told him to never touch SS at all, he just needed to walk away. But, this was months later when SS made suicide claims. SS got what he wanted out of all of it - he told the therapist he wanted to live with his mother full-time and DH was not going to fight it with CPS now on his back again. But again, everything was dismissed. There wasn't even a house check and I think the only people who were interviewed were me and SD because we were home when the social worker stopped by. She did mention to me that if I ever thought that SS was going to harm himself or others, I should make no attempt to touch him in anyway and I should just call the police and that DH should do the same.

Anyway, I don't think anything will result from your CPS woes. If ours went away, I think yours should too.

Another thing...I also have a preschooler and another on the way. Years ago I decided that SS is too much of a liability. I used to live in constant fear of CPS - I imagined that they could take my child away for all these claims. I still worry about it, so I never discipline SS in any way.

I also make sure DH tempers his temper. Honestly if SS was my kid, I'd lose my sh*t all the time. He's horrible. But, he's DH's responsibility not mine. But, yeah, I don't think I could handle a 3rd time and I'd probably just need to leave our home with my kids or force DH to send SS to military school.

SS16, at the time 14, said he was going to call the police on me.  I said I'll do you one better, let's go right now to the police station.  I will take you there myself and you can tell them all the horrible things I do to you.  What do you honestly think they're going to say to you after you tell them that I expect you to shower, clean your room, do your homework, help keep a bit of the house clean, not eat all our food in 3 days, etc?  OHHH MMM GEEEE I have expectations of you and want you to behave...how HORRIBLE I am.  Come on, get your shoes on, we'll go right now.  You can tell all and I'll be right there.

That was the last he ever mentioned that garbage again.  Don't worry OP, nothing will come of this.  They will come to your house, see that it's well kept, you have food and SS a nice bedroom, will see that you're decent people.  They can read through the lines.  It will dropped and case closed.

Any Update? 

It most definitely sounds plausible that BM got the investigative ball rolling. It also sounds like she’s reaching for an excuse to keep SD away from you and DH, now that the arrival of your little one is nearing. 

I wouldn’t fret the investigation. If there was no wrong doing, other than parenting an out-of-line teen, and maybe getting a little hotheaded without any physical abuse, he has nothing to worry about. 

Seriously, take BM’s lead on this. If this is what she wants - by all means, let her have it. She is doing you a HUGE favor by keeping her brat out of your life, given the fact you’re going to have a new baby to enjoy soon. Ah, peace and quiet, I love dogs. I bet you can just feel it, huh? 

My water broke with my oldest at 37 weeks. You’re closer than I’m sure you fully grasp. Enjoy these last weeks. Let BM have her drama and have her daughter home. You’re dodging a bullet because of this drama.