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This is a huge! Dh could not be happier

Aquarius018's picture

Things are only getting better between  dh and ss15. Dh and ss are getting along much more and is hoping soon at ss will start calling dh "dad" again- right now he's calling him "sir"

Over the weekend, we took ss to Bm's parents house because it was his grandmother's(bm's mother) birthday and she actually invited all of us. Our interactions in the past have been very pleasant and her family is been nothing but kind to us despite what has transcribed in the past. One of bm's old friends were their as well. This friend was been sort of a step in "dad" for ss throughout the years. He doesn't like dh and I and ignored dh or most of the night, but we don't really care too much anyways. What really pIssed dh off was when this friend came up to us and only acknowledged ss and not us- this man is a grown adult!. He had made comments too about how Bm raised ss herself and how all credit goes to her for how well and mature he's turned out. We do agree with him on that, but to constantly repeat it. We get it, dh screwed up, but we're trying to move forward and heal and you constantly bringing up the past isn't helping anyone and it is a constant reminder to ss that bm isn't around anymore. Anyways this friend starts running his mouth and dh gets uncomfortable and leaves tthe room. Dh wanted to go speak to him, but i advised against it because it probably would have caused a scene. I knew that he was geting pissed and I'm guessing ss noticed too. He left the room for a bit and I just went to see if he was doing alright. 

When we came back, he actually came up and apologied! Dh, being the bigger person accepted and said that he was grateful that he was there for Bm and ss, but we're trying to move forward now and constantly bringing up the past isn't helping anyone and probably only hurting ss. 

As we were about to leave, ss's aunt( Bm's sister) pulled us into the kitchen. She told us that while we were away, she was actually going to talk to bm's friend about how he was behaving, but ss beat her to the punch. She said that she overheard the conversation. Apparently, ss told this man that he's was thankful for him being there in his life, but how he was acting towards dh was completely inappropriate and uncalled for. By constantly bringing up the past, he was just bringing up old wounds that he's trying to get over. What really got to us is when she said that ss told him by disrespecting dh, he's also disrespecting him and he won't tolerate it. The three of us were crying at this point- dh the most. Mind you he's only 15! 

Bm did an excellent good raising him. As we were leaving ss was acting normal. We said your good byes and were off home. Ss had fallen asleep in the back and dh was still crying(he was overhelmed) and smiling and just looking kept looking at ss through the mirror. Even when he got home, ss acted totally normal. Said good night and just went to bed. 

He's turning out to be a fine young man. He's turning 16 in a few weeks and dh wants to throw a surprise party. He wants to go all out and I don't blame him. We've also been thinking about going on a cruise over chrismas. Ss has been taking about going one, so we're looking into that as well. Any good ideas??

Things are really turning out great. I pray that it only gets better! Ss has come a long way

 

 

 

Comments

TrueNorth77's picture

That's great! He really does seem much wiser and more mature than 15. I'm glad your DH is stepping up and being consistant with trying. Happy for your family!

Siemprematahari's picture

What great news and glad that your H and SS are moving forward and pushing to create a happy and healthy relationship and leaving the past behind. I hope you enjoy the vacations that you are currently planning and in time things will improve and get stronger.

"I have a past but I no longer live there"