Ss turned 16 last week and Dh threw a massive surprise party for him. Everyone was invited (in-laws, Bm's family, family friends, Ss's friends). The house was packed with well over 30 people. Ss walked in through the front doors and everyone shouted "surprise" and was wishing him a happy birthday. He was almost in tears. I have never seen Ss look so happy before. 

It's been a while and things have changed. Dh and ss are both seeing a therapist separately. Dh for his guilt of abandoning ss and ss with his anger - with dh abandoning him, his fear of being abandoned again and sadness about bm death.

Dh therapist told him that in order to help and be there for ss, he has to work on himself first then focus on his relationship with ss otherwise he's going to lose him forever. 

I made dh read my last post and the comments(if you don't know, read my last post). He broke down; he agrees that what he's done to ss was wrong and he wants to make amends with ss and start over. Ss is his only son (and only child) and he doesn't want to lose him. Here's the thing, whenever dh enters a room, ss mood and body language  changes. He comes very guarded and hostile or he suddenly remembers that he has something to do, and leaves the room.