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Update (ramblings)

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 8:12am

The kids and i are at my moms(mom swung by with a car seat for little guy) as far as what is going on it seems calm. I only talked to h before i left and quick texts to update him on our children nothing else. He wasnt always like this not at all we have been together for almost 4 years. And only this year has he been this way...maybe it was burried who knows. All i know is i cant just sit by and let him treat our kids like dirt...who screams at a two year old? ..im trying to figure out what to do now. Im sure today will be the day when he calls asking me to reconsider and lets start over.and at this point i dont think its going to happen...he needs a job, he needs a therapist and im just not budging until something gets done...i feel like the frog being boiled slowly

At least the kids are having fun they havent even realized daddy wasnt meeting us at babkas house

For now i supose in the words of paul...let it be

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 8:17am

Is there any chance he could be abusing drugs?  That could account for a drastic change in personality and behavior.  Your first obligation is to ensure your kids are safe and taken care of.  Make those plans first.  Also, document a history of his violent events... even if they were not witnessed by anyone.  You need to be clear in your mind what has happened and it might be useful going forward.

Glad you are out of there right now, no excuse for the way he treated you and the kids.

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 8:20am

If he was abusing drugs he would have to be incredibly good at hiding it...i dont think he is..but then again peoples personality dont just change like this

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 8:40am

Or... possibly cheating on you.. sometimes when people are doing things they know are WRONG.. they actually are much quicker to point out other people's flaws.. and in fact be much closer to the boiling point.  It's like they are subconsciously trying to give themselves a good excuse for their own bad behavior.

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 10:07am

Its possible he is cheating but he doesnt really leave the house to "meet" hes not gone long enough really to do anything but then again in my last relationship i assumed i was cheated on and didnt actually address it until i caught them in my bed..all bets are off at this point..id like to think i know him better than that but then again he isnt really himself as of late

Powerfamily's picture

Submitted by Powerfamily on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 10:07am

It doesn't matter whether he's using drugs, cheating or just depressed.  He can not treat you and your children like this.

You need to decide what you want for yourself and your children, and what you expect from him before you agree to have a trial separation, divorce or even stay together.  But none of that needs to be done now.  Give yourself a month or 2 to think about what your want and need. 

What changes he needs to make before you will even consider getting back together, and it need to be consitant month on month improvement and not just a 5 minute thing to get you back to his home.

 

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 10:11am

Im in no hurry to make any decisions one way or the other. Id like to be able to work things out but as angry as i have been and as unhappy as i allowed myself to be..im unwilling to even negotiate with this terrorist..this is NOT the man i married.or even a man i know 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 10:44am

Has he seen his doctor lately?  A drastic personality change could be a sign of some undiagnosed health issue (mental or physical).

I would stay away from him, and not listen to any talk of you coming back, until he takes some action to address the issues that are bothering you.  Screaming at two year olds, not working a full time job, not spending time with his children, pandering to the skid, and playing video games all the time are not acceptable behaviors.  And that doesn't even address the way he treats you!

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 1:27pm

I have been worried that you weren't able to get out of the house. I am so glad you are at your mom's. Take it easy, time to think long term. Don't make any rushed decisions, including going back! 

TX2step's picture

Submitted by TX2step on Thu, 07/12/2018 - 7:10pm

Destress, let the kids enjoy their granny. Get some rest and in time, when you are thinking clearer, you will realize you can't subject yourself or your children to this abuse. You are worth more. Sending prayers.