Thinking about leaving girlfriend becasuse of her kids
I'm currently living with a woman that I met on an online about three years ago and its been rough dealing with her kids and Ex-husband. I've been thinking about leaving so I was hoping to get some advice on weather I should stay and stick it out, or run for the exit as fast as I can. My relationship with my girlfriend is great and I love her but her kids and Ex husband are metally unstable. She has two young girls, age 8 and 10 that both have severe emotional problems, and I have a 14 year old son that lives with us part time. Her kids are on a plethora of medications to handle mood disorder, ADHD, sensory issues, and anxiety issues. The medication makes them bearly tollarable to be around on a daily basis, and without it they go absolutely insane. In addition, her ex harrasess us on a daily basis and is constantly accusing me of abuse. He also intimidates, badgers, and yells at my girlfriend about everything from money to their past relationship. She had a retraining order on him and she moved to get away from him but he followed her to our state and its been hell. He has a hisotry of mental disorders that run in his family and has been in and out of drug rehabs for prescription medication abuse. She has allowed him to see the kids every other weekend but they come back brain washed and bligerant. Then the calls to harass us ever Sunday after she picks them up and it contiues all night long till the next day.
With that being said, I'm contantly yelling at her kids to stop screaming through the hall ways waking people up at 3:30 in the morning. This happends every morning at 3:30 and at 5:30 AM on the dot. They trash our home on a regular basis and refuse to pick up after themselves. In addition, they talk back and curse at their mother calling her names, and fight with eachother non stop. I know sibling rivalry happen in every family but these kids pull steak knifes on eachother, punch, bite and pull hair. I've never experienced this kind of behvior out of children or adults so I was unaware of what I was signing up for when I met her. I'm an incredibly tollorant person but I think I've had all I can handle. The kids woke us up this moring trying to push one another down the stairs so I yelled at them. I tried talking to my girlfriend about this and she said "this is my messed up life, and you don't like my kids. If you're miserable then you know where the door is.". I'm assuming she is telling me to leave and now I'm thinking about doing it. Should I try any further or run?
If she is not willing to make
If she is not willing to make changes, big ones...and fast I would leave. I wouldn't want myself around this type of behavior, let alone my child.
False allegations of abuse,
False allegations of abuse, mentally unstable kids who are belligerant and have problems, an ex who is harassing you and has a history of mental disorders? And on top of that she tells you you know where the door is? This is a no brainer in my world. I'd be gone.
She said she has done all she
She said she has done all she can do. She said she can't control her Ex and she has both the kids seeing counselors and a psychiatrist on a bi-weekly basis but it doesn't help. My teen doesn't really want to come here and deal with her kids and I don't blame him. I think I'm going to leave her soon.
Thanks for the advice, I
Thanks for the advice, I think I'm going to listen to everyone and leave as soon as possible.
I feel for you . What a
I feel for you . What a horrible situation. Unfortunately, if not for you, leave for your own child ... it's a matter of time until one of them accuses him of abuse.
There hasn't been any
There hasn't been any progresss with the theropy excpet that they were able to diagnose the younger girl with 3 different disorders. They put her on alot of different prescriptions that made her act better but not by much and it wears off after a while. They diagnosed the younger girl a year ago.The older girl has been dianosed long before I came into the picture. They both still act out, and whatever the therapist says usually goes right out the window as soon as they are home. I told my girlfriend I wanted to leave so things are a little uncomfortable around here at the moment, she's crying a lot so I feel like crap.
She's feeling bad because she
She's feeling bad because she knows it's coming to an end, but don't let that keep you from providing a good home environment for your child... and yourself.
The continual abusive
The continual abusive behavior out of the ex husband, alone, would be a deal breaker for me, because while her children are young and have psychological issues of their own, he is a damn adult. He KNOWS better, yet he just chooses to be a garbage human being.
If your girlfriend truly valued you in her life, she’d have shut this down, starting way back to him following her, post order of protection.
Shame on her for guilt tripping you into NOT wanting to have any part of this living nightmare. You are not responsible for the fact she’s going to have one hell of a time convincing anyone of sound mind to stick around and be a part of this crazy.
Also, I feel sorry for your biological child. He didn’t sign up for this crap. Not even part time. You better thank your lucky stars if he doesn’t grow up to harbor a lot of resentment towards you for subjecting him to this toxic BS.
Run for the hills, man.
Your girlfriend has a
Your girlfriend has a protection order?
Why is she not enforcing it?
She is not helpless.
She can do something about her abusive ex
Like call the police to enforce it and have him in jail.
She doesn't want to do anything except play the victim.
Your girlfriend also chooses to ignore her children.
Therapy and medication aren't substitutes for actual parenting.
I fail to see what you find attractive about these qualities.
Your own child deserves, better.
Why do you have your own child around these people?
Why are you putting up with these people?
Mister, respectfully, my advice to you: RUN!!
She tried to get the
She tried to get the protection order reinstated in our state but they would not grant her one. My guess is they do not carry over State to State but I thought they would. The Judge denied it becasue she was not physically assulted by him.
She is litterally physically and mentally exhausted by the girls so she just sit's there like a vegetable while they go on their daily rampage. I can see why so I don't think its intentional, she's just numb to it and blocks them out. While shes blocking out the madness, I have to be the bad guy and reprimand them which I don't like to do. Also, I'm not attracted to these qualities, its just hard to leave when you love someone and you're tied into a lease / bills, etc .... But I've had my fill so I'll be leaving soon so this will be behind me. She told the girls so they are begging me not to leave tonight which sucks. Thanks for the advice.
So now she's trying to use
So now she's trying to use her kids to manipulate you?? Please make your own child and own self more important.
That is definitely going to
That is definitely going to happen as soon as I find another place to move into. My mind is made up!
I tried talking to my
I see you made up your mind to hit the EJECT button, which ought to be best for you. Just as a note... she says, "this is my messed up life..." - which tells me she has accepted that. She needs to know that we all have choices and that while she can't change other folks, she can do things to improve her own situation and that of the others. She could be doing so much more, however, she seems incapable for whatever reasons. Are they reasons - or excuses? At this point, it probably won't matter to you, but as you get some distance, your hindsight will become 20/20 (so will hers) and you'll know more about that. Keep it in mind in the event either of you choose to reconnect/rekindle - or if you find another love interest who might "need a little help." These situations are never very good. Best of luck, and I'm sorry for your loss.