I'm sure the landlord would love to know about the dog and extra person.  So sorry he's being a jerk to during your cancer.  Two previous family members kicked him out and they must have had good reasons.  I really doubt DH can kick you out, but maybe you can kick him out.  Get with a lawyer and find out your rights.  If DH doesn't calm down and come to his senses, at least you will know where you stand in the mess.  

Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Your DH agreed SS would not be staying in your apartment and then threw you under the bus.  I am sure when he is informed of the legal and financial ramifications he will calm down.  He also owes you an apology for being a jerk. 

Go to a lawyer as soon as possible to find out where you stand legally.  Your DH might have to give financial support while you battle your cancer - and that means whether he is living with SS or not.

Mr. "Wonderful" doesn't sound so wonderful.

Find a killer shark lawyer now and leave with everything.  Your DH has failed as a husband and a father.  Let him suffer the consequences.

Take care of you.

It'd be much healthier if you lived apart from DH and weren't fighting about adult skids.  Sorry this is happening, I hope you find some peace and fully recover.  

Stick to your guns sister. Eff DH.  I agree that you should shop for an attorney. Preferably one who can help you file for disability (SSDI or SSI) in addition to handling divorce matters. Start getting your ducks in a row. Take care of yourself. Big hug.

 Visit a Victim Advocate, they are usually free of charge; you can locate their office through your local Law Enforcement.  The Victim Advocate can assist with advice on attorney's, and Court paperwork if you need it.  They also can direct you to financial assistance.  They are a great place to start any process that you might have in mind.

I suggest you stay in your apartment and tell your DH to leave, if he cannot accept your decision.  

You do not need this; you need support and love.  Don't put yourself through the stress, it's not good for your healing process.

((((hugs))))  So sorry you are dealing with this stress.  Please keep us posted and stay here for support.  

Your DH will probably calm down; you have taken the first step in setting boundaries for your marriage.  The action you have taken is the most difficult, but will get easier to say "no" the next time.  I've been through the disengagement and boundary setting, it is ugly, but worth it. 

I'm very sorry you're going throught this. I noticed you said your husband mentioned divorce, but it sounds as if you feel stuck.

It's been a few days since you posted. Has your husband settled down? Is SS gone?

Given your health situation, this is a horrible time for you to have stress whether it's because of divorce and moving or SS's presence. Figure out what is most stressful: staying there or leaving. Sammi's idea to find a victim advocate is a good one if you decide to go.

If you decide to stay, and SS is still there, what is your rental agreement regarding dogs and extra people? You might have to raise the logical excuse of SS's presence violating your rental agreement. Apparently, the emotional excuse won't work on your selfish SS and husband. Make the argument about nuts and bolts -- the lease doesn't allow dogs and extra people -- and keep the emotional stuff out of it as much as possible.

Put yourself first and do what you must for your health. If that means sucking it up and staying until you're through this cancer, so be it. You can take the time to position yourself for health and moving on when your health allows it.

I know I always say this, but if you can get your husband to agree to a few therapy sessions, maybe you can get him to agree you'll both abide by whatever a therapist says is best for your situation. I doubt any good therapist will say SS has every right to stay, so let a third party help you negotiate what you need to get your health back. When you're up and running again, you can decide it if time to go or not.

Hang in there. It's time to be cagey and do what's best for you, even if that means playing along for now and planning your exit strategy. Sending you good thoughts!