Bedtime routine...eh not so much(rant)
So after we all had dinner... (again with the three separate meals)*UGH IAM SO TIRED OF ALWAYS HAVING A SINK FULL OF DISHES WHY CAN' ANY OF YOU RINSE AND REUSE YOUR CUPS?!* I give all the babies a bath (I have a very strict 8 pm bedtime for my kids) they fall asleep...then iam told skid is dirty and smells I "have" to give him a bath too...fine I just bought him some special kid 3 in one wash that helps with the dandruff I was told he has...welp long story short the bath didn' go well...he DEMANDED using the baby bath toys instead of his own and three out of the four ended up "accidentally" broken and in the toilet which he "accidentally" forgot to flush when he jumped out of the tub to go poop....so now iam unreasonable to throw all those toys in the trash and force him to flush the toilet...might I add no tp in the toilet so he basically got out of the tub to poop didn' wipe put the toys he broke in the toilet and plopped back into the tub....
Iam out of wine and I am begging for Monday night to just get here already!
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I know you're just venting,
I know you're just venting, but I honestly don't know how you do it. I don't think I could live with such an out of control child whose parent was doing nothing to improve the situation, not to mention not helping with his other three kids.
I wish you luck and a replenished wine supply.
Thank you, I'd like to think
Thank you, I'd like to think iam trying to be patient and understanding but some times I just cannot deal with all the little things. ..like the destruction of the babies property the smack in the face to throw it in the poopy toilet....I just grit me teeth and try my best to go on with the day but good lord at this rate iam convinced I will be an alcoholic by the time this child is eight
Just curious... You said in a
Just curious... You said in a different post that DH hasn't always been this bad; how long has he been? How long have you been trying to suggest changes that he not only refused, but is "aggressive" about how wrong you are?
Why after leaving for the weekend asking for immediate change you are not requiring it? You left and came back and are not actually holding to your word, so why should he? DH tested you and you failed. No change will happen. You will have to continue living with this child's behavior and do the majority of his care.
Meanwhile, your children's things are broken and they are learning from the poorly behaved child.
I'd say it' been this bad for
I'd say it' been this bad for about two months and only now am I really tired of it
Why did you have to give him
Why did you have to give him a bath? He is NOT your child. “Skid is dirty and smells.” “We’ll dh, then you’d better give him a bath.”
I never once bathed my husband’s children
Why are you doing it? Just look at your SO and tell him that you guess he better get to it. Don’t be a doormat.
I would have put him to bed
I would have put him to bed dirty then because DH should be taking care of his baths.
Not sure why I have him a
Not sure why I gave him a bath...really wish I did...I guess I just assumed since dh has never once bathed our babies, that he has never bathed skid either...side note on the bath the boy doesn' have dandruff...he has a build up of shampoos&conditioners caked in his scalp couldncouldnt from the life of me get it out without "hurting" him so I just let it be I think iam just going to disengage at this point...he didn' come from my circus he isn' my monkey.
I will just have to explain to my kids why it is this way and try to keep raising them the way I think is best .
Every time skid is here dh and I "fight" usually instigated by him NOT acting like a father to the child.i wonder if it' possible to disengage with husband as well on the skid weekends
So when you explain to your
So when you explain to your kids, what are you going to say?
I haven' figured it out yet.
I haven' figured it out yet..every explanation I can come up with sounds horrible on my part
You are thinking about this
You are thinking about this wrong... it shouldn't sound bad on your part, it should sound bad on your husband's part. That being said, you are the only one that can fix it. Because if you don't, this is what your children will grow up with. Are you really ok with that?
No not at all ok with it.
No not at all ok with it..action is going to have to happen today
WHY does your husband not
WHY does your husband not participate I bath time for any of his kids?
Iam not sure why he doesnt.
Iam not sure why he doesnt..he just never has. Even while the twins were in nicu and had to have sponge baths he would always want to skip that part of the visit part of me thinks he' scared to get peed on even though none of them have peed during bath time
Sounds to me like he doesn't
Sounds to me like he doesn't like doing much of any parenting...
I am baffled by "men" like
I am baffled by "men" like this. Does he do anything for his children?
Well, I suppose on days he
Well, I suppose on days he has jobs he provides a roof over their heads and diapers on their butts but other than that as of lately no not so much
Why are you with him?
Why are you with him?
Sweet Lord! It would’ve been
Sweet Lord! It would’ve been hard not to snatch the little jerk out of the tub and beat his ass. Definitely warranted.
I bit my lip until I drew
I bit my lip until I drew blood he does this crap all the time it' always someone else's toys that constantly get ruined I can' hide all the toys the twins play with just because he is over cuz that's unfair to them *it was suggested I lock up all the baby toys *
Suggested by...? I mean, toys
Suggested by...? I mean, toys that are "age appropriate" are tools to help kids learn. Leaving small children without toys is cruel.
If "DH" said that and thinks that to keep his son "out of trouble" you have MAJOR problems that need to be addressed immediately. It also clearly shows how much he cares about your children. I'm really starting to feel bad for your children.
No dh didn't suggest that it
No dh didn't suggest that it was actually his mother and sisters that said I need to hide the "important toys" and only leave out skids toys and I told her skid doesn't share anything so all the toys are "mine" even if they belong to someone else. She also said oh well he wouldn' take their things if he had toys of his own (I have bought the kid hundreds of dollars worth of toys) and they'e age appropriate but he refuses to use his toys he would rather ruin baby toys then play with his own
I flat out wouldn't deal with
I flat out wouldn't deal with that. Either that kid would need to start learning or I would be out. I simply would not subject myself or my children to that on a consistent basis.
From the sound of it nothing is getting better, it's getting worse.
Sorry, I don’t recall, but do
Sorry, I don’t recall, but do you guys have full custody of his son? If so, and with all the grief this child dishes out, the least your DH could do is parent his child as much as humanly possible.
I guess I really dodged a bullet with skid when it came to doing things like baths, etc. BM made it VERY clear I was to never help skid in/out of the tub, let alone EVER see her naked. It was beyond laughable. I was like “Cool! Works for me, DH!” Thankfully, DH was never the type of person to expect this to be my duty... bathing other people’s kids.
Next time just look at him with a dead stare and say “Hmm. That’s unfortunate. He has clean pajamas in the top drawer. G’night skid.”
No, we just get him weekends
No, we just get him weekends spring break and it' looking like most of the summer
Yeah it used to be just
Yeah it used to be just little things here and there but now it's full blown jealousy monster taking over...and it's never really enough, the in laws are all under this weird presumption that the child has nothing of his own here and never gets anything from us but clothes and "horrible living arrangements" (i.e. rules and expectations) it' just too traumatic for such a sweet little baby like skid so I'm the evil stepmom my kids are his horrible rotten brothers who get everything. Which I can only assume that' how it is for most blended families I guess lol
Ah, okay. So yes, of course
Ah, okay. So yes, of course things aren’t going to be even-steven, and you’re going to run your home how you see fit when it comes to rules.
I’d tell the in-laws to mind their own business if I were you, for starters.
And all summer? Oh I feel you, because same here. Since having our 4.5 and almost 3 year old, I completely disengaged. I would have never lived up to BM’s and the in-laws expectations anyway, because I’m a better and more involved mother, so it’s been kind of a win-win.
Is it possible to delegate duties to dad regarding his own child’s care? I would if I were you. You have your hands full.
And there is the problem, I
And there is the problem, I delegate things for him to do for his child and it never gets done and skid gets neglected if I don' do it just hard all away around I would disengage if I didn' feel so guilty about skid not getting what he needs I suppose that' who I stay so involved to begin with
oh well
i guess skid will get neglected then.. Maybe dad should lose his visitation over this.
So, again, why did you go
So, again, why did you go back? You escaped Hell, demanded changes, nothing changed, you stay.
Why?
Why would your SO change? He gets to do nothing while his little worker woman does all his work. She complains, sure, but does it anyway. Ahhhhhh time to put up his feet and watch her keep going.
You don't have to stay. You don't have to put up with him or his feral monsters. You don't have to do this. You DO deserve better.