You are here

SS18 Who Moved Out is Coming Back-Give me strength!

sandra1's picture

Submitted by sandra1 on Thu, 12/28/2017 - 11:06am

Forums: 
Teenage Stepchildren

SS18 moved out a few months ago after a row with his dad over grades.

Well, guess what, he's coming back. Still no job, still shitty grades, still the same old crap.

Since he left, I got his room in order, was considering making it a room of my own for hobbies.

Since he left, I've been less stressed and downright happy with the scenario.

Now, he's coming back. His dad is over the moon thrilled about it.

I asked my husband if he has a plan in place--an agreement of behavior of sorts--and...nope.

I don't see how this is going to be productive! And still, no JOB! Hubby says he needs a vehicle. Really? Then he needs a job!

Here we go again!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 12/28/2017 - 11:17am

So, your husband is just going to let him go back and forth, depending on who he's mad at or who kisses his ass?

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Thu, 12/28/2017 - 2:23pm

Don’t let him move back in !! Find him a room, pay two moths rent, and then he’s on his own.
He will turn your Home into a flop house

lorlors's picture

Submitted by lorlors on Sat, 12/30/2017 - 11:34pm

Bloody right. As blue skies said above, that is a hill worth dying on. I’ve got 12 months till ‘the little lord’ leaves home.” (SS17 who I am convinced has a growing and developing God complex).

He thinks it isn’t going to happen but my god it is. I need my life back. DH knows after repeated conversations that I will not be challenged on this ultimatum. He is GONE at 18 and will be out of the house. Put your foot down.

The stress of having them live with you is enormous. I am a different person than I used to be, fundamentally altered and changed. BM failed in her duty as a mother and I have been left to take these children in and try and fix them. It’s fucking bullshit as she sails off into the sunset after fucking them up royally in their formative years.

Stepkids living with me permanently is killing me from the inside out and from the outside in. It’s an unrelenting bloody nightmare. DONT let that bone idle bag of crap move back in with you.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 01/13/2018 - 10:19pm

He is 18 and you have no duty to house, feed, clothe or care for him in any way. Inform DH that the room has been repurposed and the only option is for the 18yo to live in a tent in the back yard... then hand DH the tent.

Lather, rinse, repeat... and stand your ground.

When I was 16 I decided I was independent and would no longer comply with my parent's wishes. In response my dad handed me a check for $500 and told me to make sure to write my mom with my new address. 15mins later I handed him back the check, apologized and never again shoved my head that far up by own ass again.

It is time for daddy to step up and teach his idiot spawn a life lesson. He either does it or he .... and you ... will suffer the presence of this kind of crap for the remainder of your life together. If he doesn't do it now it will only be harder later.

Good luck.

Tina22's picture

Submitted by Tina22 on Fri, 03/02/2018 - 6:06pm

How did it go with ss moving in? Reading your posts, I am being reassured that I'm making the right desion. I decided to end my relationship with my BF...we will with my two bio children. But his son sounds like your ss....I'm not going to bust my butt working to support a sloth. I don't treat myself the way I should, don't get my hair done,never had a massage. I use the money for my kids, lessons, going out, save for college. And I can not imagine throwing my money away on someone who literally ,he eats about 8 meals a day! NOPE

openhkheart's picture

Submitted by openhkheart on Wed, 03/21/2018 - 2:31pm

Oiy:/ I’m so sorry. This is a HUGE fear of mine. I’m with the father to an almost 16 year old who is extremely disrespectful, lazy, entitled, lies a lot, etc. It makes me wonder if he’ll ever move out. Then I have this very fear you’re facing. Part of my problem is my fiancé doesn’t set boundaries and I try to. Your husband REALLY needs to set structure and boundaries. If he’s not getting that at 18 what’s he going to be like at 25?! He needs to respect the rules of the house. I really wish parents would realize they need to parent. It’s not just about being their friend. They’re supposed to be preparing them to go out in the world.