Do you have imaginary conversations with BM in you head?
I Do. I am sure I am crazy but once and awhile I like to play 'pretend' and tell BM everything that is on my mind - all inside my own head of course. I find it keeps me from actually saying it to her.
Today I was thinking about a conversation that I had with BM in e-mail months ago and what I really should have said to her but didn't.
She had 'accused' of hating her and taking DH's side because he was my husband. I was nice and just said that she seemed shady to me. The truth is that I don't like BM because of stuff that she has done to ME personally or things I have seen for myself. I would like to tell her that my first impression of her was not a great one. I was over at DH's house, we had only been dating a few months, when she called him and berated him for dating some one that was nothing like her. Asked me point blank why he was with me and then asked him if their marriage had been a sham. When BM refused to drop it DH talk her that he had to go because I was on my way over. She hung up on him.
She doesn't know that I was there and heard the whole thing and that got me to thinking...
BM loves to lie but she is not very good at it. If I were to tell her that I know she would tell me that I must have misunderstood her. I called her out on one other thing and she gave me that line, but I know what I heard. That time i let it slide but seriously I would love to tell BM that she is either an lair or an idiot, because her stories never make sense.
And on rare occasion I find that it prepares me for an actual confrontation with her. And I go into battle with a witty per-thought out response that usually leaves her with out an escape route. 
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Comments
"She had 'accused' of hating
"She had 'accused' of hating her and taking DH's side because he was my husband. "
Well if it had been me I would have said "Duh - yes I hate your stupid guts and will take my husband over your trashy ass any day of the week."
Why are you even talking to her or emailing her. That's fine if you have even a semi-normal BM. But when BM is just a stupid POS you should not ever even speak to her.
And so what if her marriage was a "sham". If it had been real she and your DH would still be together.
She e-mailed me! It was some
She e-mailed me! It was some word vomit wondering why we couldn't all just be friends and explaining that she did not hate me. SO I felt the need to explain very nicely why we couldn't be friends - mainly because DH hates her. To which she responded with of course I was on his side, eluding that what DH has told me about their break up isn't true. Honestly I don't care what happened, I just know it's over. DH really does hate her.
Oh and I don't hate her
Oh and I don't hate her per-say. She has done some pretty stupid petty things to me over the year, but I can't tell if she is evil or just stupid. So I while I don't like or trust her, it's not a hate thing.
In response to your question
In response to your question "do you have imaginary conversations with BM?" oh yes, on countless occasions. I would so love to tell her exactly what I think of her. But she is off her rocker, and in reality I have not said more than 5 words to her in 10 years of being with my DH.
I would urge you to have no interaction with her at all, as she is obviously barmy and you will get nowhere.
In my head, all the time. It
In my head, all the time. It makes my blood pressure go up.
I only see BM every two years, and this is the year for the HerState kid exchange. I've been readying comments ranging from funny (making fun of things she's said about us to SD16) to hostile. However, I think I'm going to bow out gracefully and STAY AWAY from the exchange this year.
After this, I only have to see BM one time - when SD16 graduates from high school in 18 months. At that point - CS is done, and SD16 says she wants to walk away from that house with us, that day. Abandon everything and move. So I can say what I really want to, with no legal repercussions for us, and no emotional repercussions for SD16.
I'm looking forward to it.
Oh I totally agree. If BM is
Oh I totally agree. If BM is on the phone with DH and it isn't going her way she will hang up and start txting him. So he calls her back or answers her txts when he sees her again face to face.
She thinks that she can be quite witty in txt/e-mail but I have proven to her that she is no match for me. My best line was when she txt'd me and told me that she wanted to bury the hatchet. I txt'd back that It wasn't going to happen, I was sick of digging it out of my back.
The last big fight that DH had with her on the phone about me - which was over a year ago - I yelled in the phone for her to come over here and say that to my face. And while she was here I would kick her A**. Yeah she didn't come over. I told DH if he ever wants to end a fight with her, just call her and if that doesn't work, go over to her house.
She told me once that her and DH have had some pretty nasty fights, DH can get pretty angry at times. He gets mad at her because she does stupid shit and I have seen them go toe to toe and it's nothing. I told her that DH was a puppy compared to me and I wasn't lying. She has never fought with me in person and I know if we were fighting and I showed up in person she would buckle.
I have conversations in my
I have conversations in my head, and write letters that I don't send. Even though I never get the chance to truly stand up for myself, it feels good just getting it out of my system. SO stands up for me, but lately we've just gone the ignoring route, but all the same I would love to get in her face sometime and tell her how pathetic and psycho she is. But alas, I take comfort in in knowing I have way more grace and class than she will ever have.