COVID-19 results negative, twisted ankle
To re-cap:
Feral Forger SD21(emotionally 12), had to spend her 21st bday quarantined after being tested for the COVID-19 virus. Boo hoo, call the whaaaaaaambulance. She wanted to go out, even after having the flu, but I guess her friends are no where to be found and she still has no driver's license.
Sd13 has continued to go Gray Rock. Because "Kitten-Gate". I sent her some nice photos of the hugely happy kitten with her new person. No response. Told her I heard the news about her sister possibly being COVID-19 positive, no response.
Of course she texted her father all the details, about how unhappy she is at her mothers, that her sister moved in and has tried taking over the new husky puppy training.
So - it was her fathers decision to rehome kitten with my friend who is a Bengal Cat expert...but Im the bad one, the "safe to hate" one. I have discontinued all contact and attempts at maintaining the relationship - and rethinking things quite a bit. Perhaps I was just being used for all the things that I provided, and that was it. No relationship. Nada, it was a sham. Ive been reading posts where the step parent tries to contact their skids, and are accused of being "harrassing". So I keep that in mind.
Adding to the other stressors, I got DH out into nature for an easy hike, and he tripped and twisted his ankle, and is now home from work on crutches. Like things just keep getting harder and harder. Or maybe I didnt realize just how great I had it until it was taken from me. Or maybe my hold on the goodness of life was too tenuous and not able to keep from breaking under any amount of strain, no matter how small the pull.
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Comments
I'm sorry, Clove.
I'm sorry, Clove.
I think your relatioship with Munchkin has the potential to cause you great pain. Please guard your heart and take a step back.
Oh, and make your DH set her straight about who gave the kitten away. She needs to hear the truth from him.
Shes not communicating
He said shes not really communicating with him about her feelings regarding the kitten. She just did that with me.
Her communications with HIm are all centered around her sister who had the flu and moved in and then made moves on taking over the puppy, and that her illness is all BS, etc. No talk of being upset with me, which just makes me wonder if its ALL BS, shes just using me to "get more" stuff and she doesnt really give two or even three hoots about me.
Which is expected. Im just the step-aside.
I will need to better guard my heart with these people.
These times are tough
I think everyone is just on edge - even Munchkin. But it may take years for her to see that.
I like the good things list. It certainly can't hurt.
Hugs (socially safe distanced of course!)
( 6 ft hugs back 6 ft )
Thanks. Yes, as insulated as I am - still working...I am really on edge seeing DH take a tumble and hear him complaining and hes at the dr right now - just shows me how vulnerable we are.
I think shes just really insulated and not really understanding things in a realistic way.
Shes never been good with handling her emotions in a healthy way. No one has ever said "no" to her, not really. She gets everything handed to her...just because she is really nice, we overlook the fact that shes kinda spoiled.
Silver linings
His twisted ankle keeps him from going over there to get them.
His twisted ankle keeps him from getting projects done, but it also prevents him from starting new projects and making new messes.
My birds wings
Are effectively clipped, at least for a few days...
I'm sorry to hear about the
I'm sorry to hear about the negative turn with your SD13
I know you've had a good relationship with her so I bet that stings.
Something to keep in mind that I'm reminding myself... right now people aren't themselves. No one knows how to deal with this, no one knows what's going to happen, so responding in a way that isn't normal is normal. If she's wanting some space for now I wouldn't take it as something that is officially permanent. If you felt like it, you could reach out with a message saying something like "hey, we're all going through a lot and I'm here for you and genuinely miss you. I'll give you space but any time you want to contact me please know I'm here." and then leave it.
You always give great advice so I'm sure your world will feel normal eventually. This is all temporary and you aren't alone! <3
I vacilate
Between feeling like a used doormat and wanting to keep the door open.
I pretty much already texted that. No response. Just "you should not have given kitten away to your friend..."
Hope you feel better soon.
Hope you feel better soon. This COVID19 situation is getting everyone down, and normal problems that are manageable suddenly seem so much worse. I think you are right to give SD13 space and let her approach you when she's ready - it will not serve to pester her.
S P A C E
You are spot on there - everything is amplified. And like trudging upriver.
I think accusations of
I think accusations of harrassments were because the person created fake account and fake number and kept messaging minor SD confronting her about her behaviors and then kept asking her to come over. All using fake account/phone number.
It's different if you use a normal number. But if she doesn't respond I'd let dad deal with it.
I understand you care. But at some point you got to take skids from a front line of your life and focus on other things. There is more to life than skids. If they don't respond then, let their dad deal with them. Find new important things to focus on.
find something for you and DH to bond over, which doesn't include SDs.