Does BM send stuff to your house?
Our BM does and it drives me nuts. DH has asked - more than once - not too but she still does it. Last night after 'trick or treating'- and I use the term loosely - BM dropped them off with a DVD each and a toy each. We have 50/50 Every other week custody. So we have toys, movies, games, ect at our house for them. I don't like having to keep track of the stuff because 9 times out of 10, a month later she will ask us to send it back to her house. And the kids don't remember what they had for dinner so they really don't remember what they did with it.
So now I stop them at the door and take the items from them, put them in a plastic bag and put them up. Then I grab the bag on Sunday when we take them back to BM's house. SS7 always tells me that 'mom said we could' and I always say, "DH and I said no, quit bring stuff over here from your mom's"
I find it a little rude and insulting - like we can't provide them with entertainment. They have a whole room full of toys that they don't play with and movies that they never want to watch.
She is one of those mom's that thinks she has to buy them a toy or something every time they go to wal-mart.
And yesterday the movie that SS7 brought over, we already had!
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I bagged it all up and will
I bagged it all up and will remind DH to say something to her again. I lectured DH because in reality this stuff shouldn't even get in the door. He walks out to the van to get them take the toy/item from them and toss it back in the van or hand it to BM.
at some point I think she should get the picture.
We dont really have that
We dont really have that problem too bad. But every once in awhile it will happen. Like BM wont see SD for months at a time. She doesnt pay the child support to help take care of SD but she will send little items back with SD. Like a shirt or a pair of pjs for SD to wear. I guess she thinks that since she doesnt help with my SD at all then sending her with a shirt (that she got from a church giveaway) then we might all of a sudden think BM helps to provide for SD.
SD brings over her iPod and
SD brings over her iPod and her Kindle (when they decide it's not the devil and she can use it) fairly often. I don't have an issue with it because she is a very responsible kid and remembers what goes where so I/DH don't have to worry about. She's 13.
Now SS, entirely different matter. He's lost 10 pairs of glasses in three years. He brings over his expensive iPod, we told him not to. He brings it over anyway shoved in the pocket of his pants and guess what, I washed it on accident. We got it working again (stick it in a bowl of rice, the rice pulls out all the water) but read him the riot act and told him never to do it again. Now he constantly tries to sneak over his Gameboy. He has an Xbox, TV, toys out the wazzoo but his mother says it's okay to bring the stupid thing to school to play at afterschool care (which it isn't, and they've told her that but she never picks him up from afterschool care, so they bitch at DH, not her).
We've told her and told him not to bring that crap over. She lets him do it anyway. I like your idea of keeping everything in a bag by the door. But I think of it's more a way for BM to feel like she's making the kids think about her when she's not around. So they don't "forget" or something. Who knows, most BM's are freaking weird.
My Skids are boys 5 and 7, so
My Skids are boys 5 and 7, so they really can't be responsible for them items and we never send them to her house with stuff - mainly because we know that we will never see it again
I think with our BM it's about stuff. She buys them more stuff because she loves them more. Gag! BUT SS7 has said that BM doesn't have money any more and doesn't buy his 'as much' stuff any more. So maybe it is so they don't forget about her. But I hate to tell her the few times that things have gotten past me, they play with them for a few minutes and then forget about it the rest of the week.
That is a little freaky. Our
That is a little freaky. Our sKids aren't old enough for cell phones yet but I could see that coming into play later on down the road.
I was thinking about tossing it all out but I will try to be nice just a little while longer.
On a side note I would LOVE ti see BM's house. It has to be full of this junk. When I moved in sKids have this huge toy box and DH told me that when they were married they had TWO of them and a massive play room down stairs. I sacked up 2 trash bags of BABY toys to take to good will - and I probably threw out as many broken ones.
I guess I am a simple person that doesn't need all that clutter.
She used to, and she always
She used to, and she always wanted whatever it was back. I didn't cater to it. If SS didn't tkae it to her house himself, I didn't concern myself with it. And eventually, it would end up in the TRASH. She asked me to send some toy back once and I said "sorry, I don't keep track he has SOOOOO many toys here its probably mixed in with those and I don't want to go dig for it. If you don't want stuff to stay here, don't send it with him".
She stopped.
BM in my case would send
BM in my case would send food. She and DH are from the same country and I don't cook the foods that they ate back home. So she would send big bowls of Jamaican food with SD every weekend. I would forbid my BS from even touching (not that he would anyway). SD didn't want any of that stuff she wanted pizza and burgers and fries like the other kids were having on our free night (Friday)
I suspected BM was sending it all for DH but he didn't touch it either and after sending it all back a couple of weekends she got the hint.
Well I think you are okay -
Well I think you are okay - mainly because you don't expect to get the items back or 'demand' they be return.
Our BM dresses the SKids like that as well but we don't send stuff over there mainly because - at least with our BM - she will still dress them her way. Last week she dropped SS7 off in size 6 SLIM jeans that he couldn't even button and didn't even reach his shoes. At our house he wears a size 8 regular. And she still put SS5 in 3T or 4T clothes but once and awhile I think he shows up in SS7's clothes.
^ I agree.
^ I agree.
Oh do we have the same BM?
Oh do we have the same BM? It's Cheap Frozen pizza of fast food every night.
And when we told the pediatrician that we didn't think SS5 was eating well - because he refuses to eat the nice meals that I prepare - BM said she didn't have that problem, he eats 'fine' at her house. So we started buying Pediasure and refusing to make a special meal for the kids.
And BM only sent food a few times - I guess she didn't like getting stale chips and melted ice cream returned to her.