SD accused me of hitting her with a hair brush.
Last summer SD was following me around the house pestering me to put her hair in a pony. After I did that she was upset that her part wasn't straight. I had a bunch of errands to run and didn't want to keep messing with her hair so I told her that she was going swimming so it didn't matter if her part was straight or not.
After I left she went bawling to DH and told him that after I pulled her hair back in a pony I slammed the brush down and then turned around and shut the light off on her as I walked out of the bathroom.
I find out yesterday that she told BM that I hit her with the hair brush which never happened. I am freaking livid. I wouldn't touch a hair on her head.
I told DH after she lied to a cop and a police officer about him grabbing her by the face and slamming her head into the wall which caused a three month investigation that I would not tolerate this behavior being directed towards me.
I have done nothing but put up with her crap. I have delt with her emotionally abusing my child, which DH wanted to do nothing about. I have delt with the CPS thing. I have dealt with the lying, hitting, screaming, and everything else. I didn't leave when she was telling DH that she was having bad thoughts about stabbing us while we danced naked in the living room. I have dealt with down right disrerpect from her. Her trying to get DH and I to fight all of the time. Her snotty little comments and attitude. I have dealt with my BD coming to me and telling me that SD touched her priviates, which DH doesn't believe even though SD did it to the neighbor girl. This little girl is 7 by the way.
After her freaking melt down yesterday where she said that she likes to bully other kids because it feels good, tried to get DH and I to fight, and was screaming at me that everything is great up until I walk in the house in front of DH, which he did nothing about and when I asked him why he didn't do anything he responded with, "what am I supposed to do?" I don't know DH. HOW ABOUT EFFING PARENT YOUR OUT OF CONTROL KID, I am done. I have my own BD(8) that takes priority over his little psycho. I will not let her pull her sh!t with me anymore.
I told DH last night that until he chooses to parent his child consistently I no longer want her at the house anymore. Of course he's not going to abandond her when she needs her daddy the most. (The only reason why she's like this is because of sh!ty parenting.) So I told him that I was leaving him. I will not put up with the BS excuses of, "I was just busy doing stuff to parent. I forgot that was a rule. I just didn't notice it." I am done.
Interestingly enough when I stopped at the gas station on my way to work today I opened my wallet to find my debt card out for the joint account that DH and I share. That means that he got into my purse last night after I went to bed and took it out, which means that apparently the brilliant idea of taking away my access to money had crossed his mind because he took the card and then put it back. So I guess my punishment for his lack of parenting and his psycho kid was going to be leaving me high and dry. I found a freaking winner didn't I ladies.
Oh and that's not forget that durring her freak out yesterday she accused DH of hitting her in the chest with a spiral notebook which never happened. I saw exactly what transpired. DH even had to call BM and tell her what SD was going to show up and say to her because the kid is a freaking liar. BM also told me that she has to record SD because of the lies and she's told me before that she's afraid to leave her alone with her DH because of the things that SD will say/lie about him when she gets home.
I am just at my wits end here. I can't freaking do this anymore. Any advise? Maybe some validation for my choice to leave? Anything anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated.
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Open a checking account in
Open a checking account in only your name TODAY, and transfer half of the mo Dh from the joint checking account. If your checks are on direct deposit, change the direct deposit to your new account. You need to protect your daughter and you financially. Seperate your finances immediately.
^^THIS^^ I'm sorry this is
^^THIS^^ I'm sorry this is happening to you. My ex asshole took almost every dime out of our account the day he fled the state after I caught him cheating and filed for divorce. Your best bet is to cover your ass financially now.
I wish you the very best and hope you find happiness.
Disengage and never do
Disengage and never do anything for her again!
What a spoiled brat. She sounds like the type that would lie and put someone in jail and feel no remorse about it.
Disengage!
DISENGAGING (from the book Stepmonster)
To disengage--to simply try less or stop trying at all--requires accepting a number of truths about being married to a man with children.
*They are not your children.
*You are not responsible for overcoming their upbringing or any emotional or social problems they have.
* You are not responsible for what kind of people they are. You are not responsible for what kind of people they become.
*These responsibilities belong to your husband, who will likely not raise his kids (or make interventions with his adult kids) the way you would.
Having accepted this reality, you then make a promise to yourself: I will never give them the opportunity to treat me disrespectfully again.
i will definitely validate
i will definitely validate your choice to leave. this guy is lazy and would rather punish you for wanting nothing to do with this insanity than discipline his child and prevent it from happening in the first place. i'm sure there is no line of women waiting to have a chance with him. this crap doesn't get any better. they get older and they get worse. now is the time to get out. F him. he deserves to be left alone with that demon.
After reading op's post
After reading op's post again.... I agree. Leave him and the physco kid. You don't need her teaching her antics to your little girl.
What a piece of work.
You nailed it, Bi. As you and
You nailed it, Bi. As you and I know, they get worse. Your SD is the worst yet, I think.
Also, lazy parenting IS what it is. In our case, BM found it much easier to let them run loose and do as they pleased. She shoved food at them to keep them quiet and away from her. That is why they have no coping skills today. They truly do not understand why there are rules.
I would have been gone when
I would have been gone when she molested my kid.
It was during a sleep over in
It was during a sleep over in my BD's room and SD claims that it didn't happen. She was only tickeling her inner thigh. DH of course believes her. The thing is my BD doesn't lie about sh!t like that and this isn't the first time that it has happened. My BD won't do sleep overs if SD is going to be there since she came to me about this. DH said that they could have one Friday night and my BD wouldn't say that she wanted to until SD got in trouble and lost sleep over.
I think my favorite part of
I think my favorite part of yesterday would be when BM told me that SD told her that I hit her with the brush. The phone was on speaker so I walked in the house and told her to tell DH what she just told me. SD, who was supposed to be in her room, was sitting on the couch when BM relayed the conversation. SD denied denied denied it. When DH and I were talking about it a little bit later he told me that this was a great thing because she got called out and wasn't able to lie about it. Really? I just find out that SD accused me of abusing her and that's a great thing? I am failing to see the wonderfulness of all of it.
Definitely separate finances!
Definitely separate finances! NOW!
My DH's daughter is 23, and I was not around when she was a child, but my MIL said she used to do this kind of stuff all of the time. DH tried so hard, but whenever the kid lied/whined/became a drama queen, BM gave her food/candy or did something the kid wanted. DH would argue with BM, and then BM and the kids would all go against DH. DH's daughter is still behaving this way today. His sons are just as bad. They are chronic liars and manipulators. I do not know how they keep track of their lies, as it is constant. I do not, and never will trust them. If I had met DH when they were younger, I would have run and run fast. Sometimes, these kids scare me, bc they can be really convincing at times. I won't let them in my house.
If your DH does not do something, this will be his life when his child is grown, but about 100 times worse.
You, however, do not need to stay for this train wreck! It is really not fair to or healthy for you.
I agree and have told him
I agree and have told him many times that if he can't get his sh!t together and parent I will not stick around for what I forsee in the future and by future I mean train wreck.
It WILL be a train wreck, for
It WILL be a train wreck, for sure. You are trying to do the right thing, but you cannot fight his horrendous parenting skills. When I met DH's kids, I almost passed out, they are that bad. It made me wonder about him at first, but then, I started to hear what had happened as they were growing up. BM was much like your DH. My DH had to work a lot, bc she gambled and refused to work. He was not home a lot, and when he was, he would try to discipline and they would laugh at him. I talked to his family and friends, and they said it was really bad, but they said he tried. The thing he did wrong was to give up (although I do not know what more he could have done) and then he gave in. His kids are terrible to him, abusive really. He has been nothing but a wonderful dad to them. 18 months ago, he stopped giving in, and they are still not getting it.
I tried to help them, too, but they were nasty to me. As they are adults, it is easier for me, bc I do not have to have them around.
Your SD will never learn the way the world works, and someday, she may lie about the wrong person. Your DH won't be able to protect her then.
PROTECT you daughter! If I
PROTECT you daughter! If I ever in a million yrs found out my SS was touching my child I would be GONE!what if this causes her issues when she grows up. It would not matter how much I loved my DH. This child has issues and you child is dealing with them. Somestimes love isn't enough. Take your money and leave before its too late!
What a monster. Start saving
What a monster. Start saving now and as others said, open your own account. Agree to go to counseling and if things don't get better atleast you will have a little nest egg to start out by yourself.
Goodluck, I feel for you. That would be maddening
I don't know much of your
I don't know much of your story, but this girl sounds dangerous and I agree with the others that you need to start making plans to leave and leave dh and bm to deal with her. The fact she's touched other kids sexually rings massive alarm bells though, and suggests to me that she may have been/is being sexually abused herself. She's obviously a very angry, disturbed kid and to be doing that to other kids at her young age is a sign that something is very seriously wrong. She is attention seeking the worst possible way and her parents need to face up to it and get professional help before she ends up a psycho teen and a danger to herself and other people. If you google signs of sexual abuse in children, there are a lot of sites which describe signs, symptoms and behaviours and it might be worth seeing how many of them fit. It does sound like she's a practised liar and it might be difficult to get to the truth but that's something for her parents to work out. Your first concern, though, is your own kids, and even if it turned out that your sd had been abused in some way, that doesn't change the fact that your kids are your priority, not to mention your sanity and wellbeing, and if you feel you cannot live this way anymore then you will have to move on.