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realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:53pm

Forgive me for this post, a friend on here said she mentioned my recent loss.

Some of you know my story as to all the stress FDH and I have been under. On July 22 my FDH picked a fight with me and we got into a yelling match in front of the kids. Why he was allowing them up at 10pm is beyond me. Apparently SS was claiming he was too afraid of me to come through the master bedroom to use the bathroom since the kids toilet was not working well. Then SS started crying telling FDH he wanted to live with BM because she let him see his grandparents. He also said he was sometimes afraid of me. Looking back as I write this I believe his mother and grandparents coached him. FDH took him back to his exwife. He told her that she and his parents won and they could have his son. He said he was quitting work amd I left him. I believe he told her that he was going to kill himself. He came home and told me all this. I talked to him amd I thought he had calmed down.

Monday the 23rd he called out of work and didn't take his insulin or other medications. He drank several drinks and passed out. I believe he went into diabetic shock. I was able to keep waking him up and he refused to go to the doctor.

Tuesday morning he called out again. Then he told me to leave and said some horrible things to me. Then he seemed to calm down that afternoon and said he loved me.

Wednesday morning I woke up and he was standing over me. He looked terrible and I asked if he was going to work, he said yes. I believed him. I was so exhausted I fell back asleep. He ended up going to our backyard and shooting himself.

BM#2 refused to return SS at the beginning of July. She wanted to have SS for one week on amd one week off. She said we would go back to us having full custody when school started. She lied and filed for full custody on July 12. She asked for an increase in child support and said that SS would be attending his old school over an hour away from where BM lives but where the grandparents live. FDH assumed based on this and the fact that BM was just saying she couldn't afford an attorney to fight the grandparents from getting full custody that the grandparents were paying for her lawyer as long as she let SS live with them.

FDH's diabeties meds needed to be adjusted and were causing him to be depressed and not himself. He couldn't cope. Unfortunately he chose the unthinkable, even after I told him that DD and I would be lost without him and we would have to find him. Now I'm staying with relatives and trying to figure out how to explain to my three year old why her daddy is gone.

All because his parents wanted custody of his son they stopped at nothing to take him.

Comments

Hanny's picture

Submitted by Hanny on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 2:59pm

I am so sorry. I have no words except, that I will pray for you and your family. Please take care of yourself and your child.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 3:00pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. (((Hugs))) to you & prayers for you & your family for calm & comfort.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 3:00pm

OH my goodness RCM, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know my words could never comfort you in this time, but I will be praying for you and your family.

I can't stop crying thinking about this. What a shame.

napamom's picture

Submitted by napamom on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 3:00pm

I am beyond sorry for your and your dd's tragic loss. I can not imagine the pain you must be feeling. A hug virtual hug to both of you.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 3:08pm

I am so sorry. PLease cut off all communication with all of them. They lost that right when they did this. Your daughter will be fine as long as she has a strong mother to help her through. <> Take care of yourself.

just tired's picture

Submitted by just tired on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 3:09pm

No mere words can comfort you at this time, but I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I will pray for you and your DD.

BaseballMom42's picture

Submitted by BaseballMom42 on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 3:23pm

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your child at this time.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 4:05pm

This is one of those times when words are never enough. Just know there is a community of cyber friends out here surrounding you with love and comfort and protection from the toxic elements in your life.
Keep those people away from your daughter.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 4:31pm

Good grief ... That is just terrible. I am so sorry that happened.

Words are just failing me.

It is a tragedy.

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 5:26pm

I am so sorry to hear about your loss RCM. Lifes not easy as is and this just adds to everything that you've already been through. I agree with the other posters. Don't let those people near your BD. They have no business even talking to her. Take care of yourself and your baby and remember that things will get better for you even though it may not seem like it now. I've always been told that time heals all wounds but what I've come to realize is that time gives us a chance to grow.

Big ((((HUGS)))) for both you and your BD.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Submitted by stepmomto3bioto1 on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 7:44pm

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss!!! How tragic for you & DD!! Please keep her safe & away from those vile nasty people. I'm so sorry for your loss & heartbreak. May Karma get them in the end (his parents & BM).

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 8:13pm

Thank you ladies. His parents want nothing to do with us. They hired sheriffs deputies to keep us from the memorial I was told and they have done nothing but harass us. We were not married but did qualify for common law. They froze his bank account, cut off our auto insurance and blamed us. They lied about us at the memorial service causing one person to harass us. They even left us out of the obit but mentioned the two exwives that he hated. His parents are special Christians.

icecubenow's picture

Submitted by icecubenow on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 8:14pm

No, no, no....(((BIG HUGS)))....hold and protect your mind, yourself, and your child. It's not supposed to end this way.

doll faced sm's picture

Submitted by doll faced sm on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 8:16pm

Oh my God; I am so sorry to hear about yout loss. How terrible for others to feel the need to pour salt into the wounds. Please keep your self safe as you heal.

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 8:21pm

No its not supposes to end this way. It's very hard, DD is acting out but she is going to therapy on Thursday. I hope karma hits them all. It's not very Christian but they in effect killed him. They have destroyed my life and my daughter's.

I heard this quote the other day and I'm trying hard to live it.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

icecubenow's picture

Submitted by icecubenow on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 8:33pm

And you are strong enough, and woman enough, to pick up the pieces of your life and your daughter's life and put it back together.

Remember this....there are good people here who will hold your hand and walk this walk with you. Your DD is acting out, but she will be OK because she has YOU. You're already reaching out and getting help.

Just know that lots of prayers are going up for you and that precious child.

feelinglost's picture

Submitted by feelinglost on Tue, 08/14/2012 - 5:39am

I am so sorry and really sad to read this. I wonder what he felt! May he rest in peace and God forbid his sins. Just focus on yourself and your daughter now. Be strong and wise!