Blah Blah Blah
I hate it when my SD11 comes home from BM she talks and talks about what she did with her mom. I just try to ignore it, but sometimes I want to scream "I don't care what you do at your mom's" I just hope that when she goes to her BM's she talks non-stop about SM. We recently had an issue where SD11 would go home to her mom's and tell her mom negative things about BD and SM house, which could be misinterpeted. IE. SM yelled at me while we were in the pool. What really happened was she was doing something dangerous and was told to stop several times and didn't. Not only that what happens at BM house stays there and what happens at BD house stays there. How do I cope with her constantly talking about BM house. I don't care. I just care what happens in my home. I am parnoid now that SD11 will tell her mom everything that goes on at our house. I feel sick now every time I see her BM. I don't care for her and I just want my family to be happy. I just needed to vent.
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My SS is 19 and still does
My SS is 19 and still does this. No advice, sorry.
I wasn't looking for advice,
I wasn't looking for advice, just wanted to vent, but it is nice to know that my SD11 isn't the only Skid to do this.
SS14 has been doing the same
SS14 has been doing the same thing lately. I really don't give a crap about what he does every other week at his Mom's. What bothers me is wondering if he feels the need to regurgitate every thing we do when he's with her. I do NOT want her knowing about anything that goes on in my home.
I agree as well. I don't want
I agree as well. I don't want her knowing anything about my life. Especially since she takes everything our SD11 says and uses it against us when we have done nothing wrong.
Well if anyone else has some
Well if anyone else has some advice on how to stop this without looking like an ass..I'll take it! lol
You are not alone. Every
You are not alone. Every single hate-text or hate-voice mail that DH receives from BM is triggered by one or both of the skids telling Mommie Dearest something about OUR lives or OUR home.
So, nope. You are not alone. Not that knowing that helps in anyway, other than misery loves company.
Don't know how to stop it, because it's not possible to control other people. The only person you can control is yourself. You can control your reaction. And what I mean by that is: we've had to seriously clamp down on what skids are allowed to know about us. And if they ask why we won't tell them things or answer their nosy-ass questions, they get a truthful answer: "Because somehow your mother ends up knowing everything about us, and then your dad gets nasty hate-texts from her. So, to prevent having to deal with that, we are limiting what you know about us."
If they don't like it, tough shit.
SD16 tells BM aaaaaall about
SD16 tells BM aaaaaall about Daddy and Ms. Trish's house - all the things we do together, and all the things we teach her. I sincerely think it's done deliberately to make BM feel bad - because BM won't lift a finger to actually spend time with either of her kids.
Of course, I get to hear all of the ways BM is bigoted, mean, hateful and dishonest. I finally quit sugar-coating this year - I think the statement I made the most was, "Your mother is a f-ing idiot!" But no kidding, SD16 invites it. Sample conversation as we were getting a new, very expensive leather living room set delivered:
SD16: Wow, this is REALLY NICE!!
Me: Yep, this is the kind of stuff you get when you get a good job, save up your money, and pay for it in cash.
SD16: Oh, so not on credit like Mom would do?
Me: I'm pretty sure if your mother thinks it's a good idea, you should NEVER EVER DO IT!!
That's not to say that buying on credit is bad, especially if it's something like 0% financing for X months, and you pay it off before any interest is due - we've done it. But I know that SD16 has heard my rants about getting into debt to the limit of your credit often enough.
I agree! In my situation BM
I agree! In my situation BM does nothing for her kids, but use them for her own personal needs. For the last 7 years she did nothing with her kids that wasn't for herself. This year after the big FB blow up (see my other blogs) she finally took her kids to Santa's Village and fishing. That's the most that she has ever done. Well now SD11 is sucking up to mom and treating her Dad like crap. We have done tons of things with her like Wonderland, cottage, Great Wolf Lodge, Niagara falls, camping the list goes on.
I have the same issue with
I have the same issue with SD11. Everytime she starts a sentence with "My mom" I stop her mid-sentence and remind her that what goes on at her moms house is her business just like what goes on at my house is my business. I just tell her I am not her and I do not need to hear about her. I also had SOs support and he gave her the same talk a few times. It never FULLY works but it seems to be more effective then just trying to deflect the comments.
It happens with ALL of
It happens with ALL of us!!!
Some samples of the hate texts DH gets approximately 45 minutes after dropping SS off with BM:
"YOU MADE HIM EAT HUMMUS!!!" (as in, we asked him to taste a new thing; not, as she would suggest, guzzle a huge vat)
"I CANT BELIEVE YOU MAKE HIM EAT AT THE TABLE ALONE BY HIMSELF. U R A MONSTER" (oh I guess he didn't tell you that we sat at the table for an hour in a standoff with him over a vegetable and then made him stay afterwards to finish it)
"WHAT KIND OF MAN R U THAT U MADE HIM READ DURING THE SUMMER VACATION" (I really don't think this one needs an explanation)
"YOU NEED TO HELP HIM CUT HIS FOOD. HE IS EMBARRASSED BECAUSE YOU YELL AT HIM ALL THE TIME." (it could never be that he's embarrassed that he's 10 and doesn't know how to use a fork and knife, of course)