You are here

How H is seeing SS's behavior...

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 8:22am

Just more on this topic because I find it so very, very interesting.

After SS threw his fit last night (that H did NOT feed into AT ALL) -- SS settled down and acted like nothing happened. No one else addressed it either because we don't want to give the behavior ANY attention at all since SS intentionally acts that way for the attention. If H continues to complete ignore it the behavior should go away.

However, it was time for showers. H tells SS it's time to shower. H goes into the bathroom to use the toilet first. SS is sitting on the sofa, waiting. The *MOMENT* H opens the bathroom door, SS SPRINGS up and runs to H to hug him and hang on him. Like, weird. You know, like the 2 minutes H was in the bathroom taking a leak felt like an eternity to SS.

In the meantime, my son is looking absolutely miserable and asks me what time SS goes to bed. I said, can you hang in there until 10:30? My son agreed that 10:30 was reasonable. So I informed H that my son would like "quiet time" to start at 10:30. H picked up what I was laying down and agreed. No big deal.

Fast forward some time, showers are done, and it's time for SS to go to his room for the night. As an illustration of how clingy/needy SS is, get a mental picture of this:

SS is walking backwards down the hallway toward his bedroom - because he wants to be able to SEE his dad for as long as possible before he has to go into his room for the night. He has both hands in front of him - holding both of H's hands and bouncing them like they are about to play ring-around-the-rosey or something.

SS looked so absolutely BABYISH.

H, considering his new perspective on this behavior and how immature HE sees SS is, did not look amused. AT ALL. Wink

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I sure do hope that means H is going to change the way he is parenting that child!!!

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 8:58am

I hope he does make some changes, for everybody's sake.

I feel that SS is old enough for DH to have a discussion with him about his behavior.
If SS is made to talk about why he feels the need to act so babyish, maybe he can then be reassured that there really is no need to act that way. And realize how ridiculous it is! Usually, that is about the age boys don't want to be seen as babyish, is it not?

It is time for your DH to put a stop to it. It's good that he was not amused by SS's behavior but he should have let go of his hands and told him to turn around and walk to his room like a normal person. Baby steps, I guess! Ha ha, no pun intended.

Annanymous's picture

Submitted by Annanymous on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 9:52am

My 12 year old is still on a 9:45 bedtime on school nights and 11:00 bedtime on summer/weekends, except when friend spends the night, and then I expect them to go to bed by 1:00.

That boy would be in bed by 9pm period. DH should start talking about how he can't wait to have a "big boy son" that he can do "big boy" stuff with and when SS acts like a normal elementary school kid and not a toddler, give him praises and praises and attention, and like you said, completely ignore any baby behavior. My SD tried some baby stuff when she was 6 and I told her I did not like it when she acted like a baby because I was so proud of having a big girl. After ignoring the baby/praising the biggirl for a while, she stopped (no way NEAR as severe as your SS7 is though, good lord).

Yeah, I probably would have not kept my cool even 1/4 as well as you, as I have very limited patience and I am really bad at masking my emotions/thoughts. If I think you are being stupid, you will see it on my face so to speak, no matter how hard I try to not show it.

Annanymous's picture

Submitted by Annanymous on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 12:18pm

WHAT! OMG, I saw the other poster's comment about age 7, I thought your SS was 7. He is ELEVEN (10-1/2 close enough). ELEVEN???? Middle school kid, seriously? I hope his dad realizes REAL fast that there is something wrong there and addresses it.

stepnicole2010's picture

Submitted by stepnicole2010 on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 12:13pm

We have an 11 yo SD. 9pm on school nights, 9:30-9:45 latest in summer/holidays. IMHO, 10:30 is late for your SS.

Annanymous's picture

Submitted by Annanymous on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 12:21pm

Exactly, we did 9:30 at 11 since she always gets up with her alarm and gets dressed without any help from us. I let her stay up until 10:30 only on Mondays to watch her WWE wrestling show, but with the understanding that she does not buck bedtime and gets up on her own, which she has always done extremely well. We let her stay up later in summer because she does not have any difficulty returning to her school bedtime schedule or any bedtime dramas or anything and gets up in the morning when she is supposed to get up.

Interestingly, half her friends are still sending her texts at 10:30-11pm on school nights. Of course I have her phone at 9pm, so I turn the ringer off as it keeps me up!

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Fri, 07/27/2012 - 3:48pm

That will never change. BM lets them stay up to all hours in the night, falling asleep to the TV -- even during the school year.

So, for bedtime to even get chiseled down to 10:30 in our home was a freaking nightmare that lasted MONTHS AND MONTHS of bullshit and drama. Personally, I agree. He should be in bed by 9 and lights out by 10. But that is a battle I will never win, so I don't wage it.

When my son isn't here, I usually retire to my bedroom by 9:00 because I can't stand looking at the skids anymore.