O/T need advice on Best Friend in trouble....
My best friend confided in me today that her H is verbally, mentally and emotionally abusing her. He wont let her go back to school, wont let her go anywhere unless its to work, or she has their daughter with her.
She told me that he has been making her sleep with his friend. I guess this said friend buys the baby diapers and this said "friend" and his wife are the godparents of the baby. (she said he will get mad if she tells him no)
She told me so much more that I just cant get it all into words.
I told her that she needs to leave this asshole...NOW!! (she said he will get mad,and that she doesnt want to loose her daughter)
I told her she WILL NOT loose her daughter to this ass. What he is doing is wrong, pimping her out, verbally, mentally and emotionally abusing her!! I said if for no other reason you need to leave him for the well being of your daughter. She will grow up thinking that this is how marriages and realationships are supposed to be. I told her taht she needs to find someone to make her happy, who supports her, and someone who WANTS to see her "spread her wings".
She told me that 2 nights before her wedding, when a bunch of us girls went up to the local adult toy shop, that when she got back that night (2 hours later) He told her if she ever did that again he would divorce her.
She said that he is a great dad. Yea well, he can be a great dad BUT a really sucky ass H.
I have told her to stand up to him but she is afraid. I am the only one she has told. He own mom doesnt even know..as her mom LOVES her H.
What can I do to help her?!?!? Ive ofered her a place and any $$ that we have to help her with.
She told me so much today I just cant get it all out into words right now.
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I came from one of those
I came from one of those relationships (XH) had brainwashed me into believeing I was "fat,ugly, no man would ever want me b/c I have 3 kids,and I would fall flat on my face and have to go crying home to mommy and daddy". Needless to say none of what he said is true.
I've been telling her all this stuff for months now. I hope she wakes up before its too late. (she said that she sees it coming down to the physical abuse) I told her if it did, call me. I will call the cops and I will beat the cops to her house. He H will be praying for the cops to show up and save HIS ass from me.
step, I am so sorry about
step, I am so sorry about your friend's situation. She is blessed to have you to confide in. Perhaps that is her first step toward getting out of this mess - she verbalized it to someone else.
Somehow she now has to find the courage and the faith to accept the fact that she CAN leave and she CAN keep her and her daughter safe. I'm guessing you feel pretty helpless to help her right now. I would feel the same way.
Perhaps you can start gathering information/resources on domestic violence shelters and other organizations that could help her. She isn't ready for that yet probably but it would give you a way to help down the line.
Bless your heart - you are a wonderful and caring friend.