Bio-son drops a bomb on us today
I cannot believe what my BS(almost 21) sprang on my DH and I today!!
But a little back story first:
My son introduced us to his GF(she's just shy of 19) shortly before Halloween. She's a really pretty girl, nice(that we knew of), and my son was smitten with her. Well, last weekend I guess he found out she was texting her exbf. Now we are understanding that nothing happened with said ex and her bc she is ALWAYS around my son.
My son and her are living with my XH and his wife. (the kids' new stepmom...no problem there she's really nice and we get along.)
He still doesn't have his diploma or GED. Neither does she. Neither one of them have a job, but I guess they have been looking)
He pm's me on FB a picture of a diaper that says "shit happens". Now this is normal for my son to send strange pics that have random meanings. I told DH that this had better not mean what I think it means, bc I wont be happy and I will tell my son and his GF what I think.
well, BS calls me and tells me " Hey you guys are gonna be grandparents!!" I told him that it wasn't a funny joke, and to quit with it. Well he sent me a pic of the hospital papers with her name, todays date, positive pregnancy results and all the other crap they write down.
Then he calls me back and says "HI grandma!" Well, I told him exactly what I thought. "what are you thinking? neither one of you graduated, neither of you have a job, stable place to live, neither one of you are mature, how do you plan on raising a baby?"
and on and on.
I can't say anything to anyone, since he hasn't told anyone, but DH and me. Not even his dad and SM
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haha. my DH said the same
haha. my DH said the same thing about the paternity test. He's my ex so of course he's a fool. But seriously, Dh had BS son living with him to babysit his other 2 boys from a relationship after ours. Those 2 boys' mom died, so know he has to play dad, but never really does, go figure.
In the past he has let me BD have her bf move in with them, so she was there to watch kids.
So apparentyly he's learned nothing. (but then again xh never really learn lol)
Congratulations?? Time for
Congratulations?? Time for both of them to get their butts in motion.
Why oh why do some people not use birth control?
yeah he made the comment "we
yeah he made the comment "we lied down and did the deed now we need to stand up and be adults" HA like he really knows anything about being an adult.
Or give it up for adoption to
Or give it up for adoption to a family that could really care for it. Since there are so many couples out there that want but cant have a baby
Do either of them have a job?
Do either of them have a job? If it is his, will your ex and his now wife still let them live there? I can't imagine my adult skids living with me. Skid with pregnant GF? Oh no, no, no.
I'm asking because you may want to go ahead and think through the scenario if they have DS and GF move out.
PATERNITY TEST STAT!! Then, a
PATERNITY TEST STAT!!
Then, a brain transplant. Kids like your son, who think having a baby is just like having a doll, make me soooooooooooooooooooo mad.
I am so mad for you!
I really want to be happy,
I really want to be happy, but I know this is such a mistake, on so many different levels. I'm almost hoping/praying that if/when they do a paternity test that its not his. DOes that sound bad?
They are children and they
They are children and they haven't known each other for an acceptable amount of time to even be having sex. I hate to say it but your son is about to bring another life into a "split family" life since there's no way they will stay together. Lord them. I'm sure he thought messaging you first was a good way to see if you'll be more accepting (let them live with you). I do hope you make him make her get a DNA test as well as some kind of an agreement about custody even if they are still "together" since she is
"I would be VERY interested
"I would be VERY interested in the content of those texts with the ex-boyfriend!"
No doubt! The plot thickens. BS 21 may end up hearing, "You are NOT the father..." Dear lord, what a messed up situation to bring a child into. I am so having the condom talk again with all of my kiddos tomorrow. Best of luck OP.
I would tell Ex. I would call
I would tell Ex. I would call him now and tell him. Just to give them a dose of reality. You wanna play adult games? This is what happens.
I don't even have ex phone
I don't even have ex phone number. And before you suggest fb, he has me blocked so i really can't. Besides i think my son needs to be an"adult" and tell his dad himself.
She'll be showing soon
She'll be showing soon enough.
I'm so sorry for you. As
I'm so sorry for you. As this is your grandchild (or is if the DNA test confirms it) you will be attached to the child.
My SS30 and his GF just had a baby. The baby was born 5 weeks early (both are heavy smokers and I don't know if she drank during pregnancy) and was hospitalized for two weeks. SS is a worthless alcoholic POS with violent tendencies. The poor child doesn't have a chance.
I have not met the baby nor do I intend to do so. Of course the child is innocent but so are all the thousands of other babies born each day. I refuse to get attached to this poor child. I will not be able to do a thing for the baby - but I would be crushed if I got attached.
That is my fear if and when
That is my fear if and when SS does that as that will be my cue to leave. Hopefully it never happens but if they can't look after themselves prior to having a child, odds are, someone else will have to look after them and baby after.
And that person will NOT be
And that person will NOT be me. I was already totally disgusted with BM and Dh for having the disgusting POS SS30. BM wanted me to take over being responsible for bailing SS out of his shit.
No thank you. I did not want to be responsible for your pathetic crotch dropping. Nor will I be responsible for SS30's now crotch dropping.
I was a responsible person who did not produce random children from unprotected sex. I will NOT take care of others mistakes.
Oh crap. You need to get
:jawdrop: Oh crap.
You need to get your mindset in the right gear and you and hubby need to have those harsh talks. There may well come a day (or night) that ex has enough and kicks them out and they end up on your doorstep. You need a game plan NOW and you need to stick to it.
And your contribution, where Im from its normal for grandparents to contribute something for baby. Something as in; a crib or a buggy or a ONE time cash/voucher gift. But thats it, grandparents are not responsible for setting up nurseries and kitting out clothing. Thats on the parents.
Good luck having mature conversations about custody and dna testing, girlfriend will no doubt be doing the "this wasnt planned but we are so in love it will all be fine we will be awesome parents" and any reminder of reality of doubt of paternity will probably shift her into a golden uterus BM who will start using baby as a carrot and weapon before its taken its first breath.
And whats your sons game plan? He has no job now so whats his income? Is he getting anything in benefits or is his dad paying for all? Has he started hitting the job market yet? He has a 9 month timer and he will have already lost masses of time.
Have him look up prices of furniture, baby needs a bed, baby needs nappies, bottles, really really basic stuff, how much is that costing? How is he going to pay for that?
The girlfriend is unlikely to find employment since shes already pregnant so now their income is on his shoulders.
DH and I have already come to
DH and I have already come to the agreement that no matter what they are not moving in here. We raised our kids, and we are NOT raising our grandkids.
The next time they come over we are going to Walmart just so I can show them how much even cheaper stuff cost.
He should have known better. I was a single mom who busted her ass to give 3 kids everything they needed, and it wasn't easy. I didn't meet DH until they were easily almost teenagers. (their father and I divorced when they were 4,3,2).
And we (DH and I) are going to go at them about DNA testing and everything .
Two people who barely know
Two people who barely know each other, have no education, no jobs, and no place of their own. Yet, he sounds so excited to share the news, like he's getting a puppy. And we all know that kids don't realize the responsibility that comes with getting a puppy.
But in all realness, don't
But in all realness, don't let him sign that certificate until Maury Povich can confirm those results.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
wish there was a "like"
wish there was a "like" button bc Id hit it
BS told BD(almost20) the
BS told BD(almost20) the other day, she flipped out on both of them, almost as bad as I did!! She is lividly pissed. She told me that if BS claims that baby as his and doesn't get a DNA test she's "smacking the shit out of him" (that was a direct quote from her lol)