Additional time with SS
DH has joint custody his days are every other Fri-Mon am and every other Wed after school to Fri am. Can BM refuse to allow him any other days if he says he wants him? with the exception of Holidays of course.
- harleygirl's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Depends. Is the child with BM
Depends. Is the child with BM during the times your SO wants him? If not, then he likely has first right of refusal and can take SS during those times. If so, then I am going to ask the question as a BM - why would BM give up the time if she is using it?
Don't take it the wrong way, here is my situation. XH can barely meet his 10 days a month with bios. XH makes plans on the EOW with the bios and I need to absorb that for him. Then XH has new baby - and wants more time with the bios.
Should I have to give up my time with my bios so XH gets more now that its convienent - yet prior he barely had the time for the bios?
Don't get me wrong, I am semi-flexible - not a total bitch - but that was my personal internal thought process. OK XH - now that you feel like it you want more time but only when you really feel like it - why should I have to give up my time just because he feels like it??
Just putting it from the other direction a little.
Now, I did allow some time, and yes allow because it was my time and my choice to give it up. We had agreed on the 10 days a month and he was barely meeting it as it was - I have no desire to keep my bios from their new brother - but I also have no desire to give up my time either.
I guess my beef is she has no
I guess my beef is she has no problem asking him to give up his days which are less than hers to accomodate whatever she wants to do, but if he wanted an extra day for his own reasons she acts like she hasn't seen the child in weeks. She took him on DH days to go visit family for a week so he asked if he could have another day today do do fireworks. She said maybe 8:30 or 9 because he has hardly seen him because DH had him this weekend. She had him 2 full weeks prior. I am a BM also and I know my son loves his dad and would sacrifice my feelings if it makes him happy. That's my issue. Especially since BM throws it at him that his time with son isn't priority yet this is the issues he has to deal with. FYI the ONLY time he doesn't have him on his scheduled days are if she plans something on HIS days and asks him to give them up or if we are going our of town which is only like 3 time a year. Otherwise we have him weekly.
I yes, i get that. I am not
I yes, i get that. I am not that inflexible. My XH and I flex for events that happen on the 'wrong' weekend where the kids will enjoy spending the time at the 'unplanned' home without question.
My DH is always accomodating BM here as well - she just does as she pleases with no regaurd to the schedule - yet we have to beg on knees to get them for something we want to plan. We also have this shitty split weekend situation with BM where every weekend is split so any full weekend plans comes with begging and pleading.
I hear you.
DH always lets BM mess the schedule because he wants to do what is best for the kids and not have them miss out on anything because of a schedule. However, BM abuses this niceness and we pay the price always.
MY DH is exactly the same
MY DH is exactly the same way. I feel bad for him because he tries to put ss first and not his feelings but it never comes back to him from BM. I don't get it.