DH had his first "family counceling session" with SD17 yesterday. Where she apparently latched onto him in a hug and refused to let go for the first five minutes of the session (held at DJJ).

The short of it: she spent 45 minutes of the 50 minute session bitching about me.

The last five minutes was DH explaining to her:

And this is why you can not return to my house. You have been told not to be disrespectful and to respect my wife in my home, yet here you are disrespecting her again. Bad mouthing her to people and making them believe shes a bytch and has unrealistic expectations of you. There are three expectations of you within the house

1) Don't be an a$$hole.
2) Get good grades
3) Do a single chore a day to help with the responsibility of the household that supports you.

You have made concious decisions NOT to follow these rules and to flaunt them at every given opportunity. These rules are written in concrete and are non negotiable. In 31 days you are an adult you may go live on your own and make your own rules, as soon as you get out of the halfway house or foster home you are assigned to when you finish your time here.

Note: first rule is really "respect yourself and all others within the house" he adlibbed.

SD17 was taken back to her cell at the 50 minute mark. Apparently crying because her dadddddyyyy called her an a$$hole. Therapist shook his head and told DH he had been doing one on one sessions with her. That she had him convinced I was a completely self centered bitch and it was my way or the highway. That DH's balls were in my purse. DH gave him a brief rundown of the last few months, told him about reading the book step monster and how he can now see where he had been going about things all wrong. That the other three kids are doing fine (and they are) but she refuses to follow rules and got violent with a sibling and was not welcome to live in the home. Visits for sibling bday parties for an hour or two, fine. Nothing more than 120 minutes and she could expect that he would be by my side ensuring she did not give me any problems.

Positive note: therapist agrees with how DH is doing things and said there comes a time in relationships where you have to redefine them. She is used to running the show, or at leaste thinking she runs the show, it will take time but eventually he can see her becoming less of an a$$hole. Therapist is also ordering the book Step Monster to read himself as it appears 95% of the kids he deals with, come from 'blended' families!

Younger three teens are doing very well. If it continues by sat they will each get one electronic device back... I am betting the boys choose video game systems and ysd picks the phone!