Private Goodbye Ceremony to my Sex Life
Last night I had a private in my head goodbye ceremony to my sex life. Or the one I had anyway (which was only on fridays) Now that skids are here all of that goes bye bye. Because SS11 barges in MY room anytime he feels like it so SO won't have anything to do with me while they are visiting. So it looks like the end of August for me. I'm sure this sounds kind hilarious and possibly untrue but let me assure you it's not. He gave me a "break the rules quicky" on sunday before he left to get them. Which left me feeling sad and used. Ugh.........
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Are you kidding? Sorry, that
Are you kidding? Sorry, that wouldn't cut it for me. I would kindly ask him, "so that means that if we EVER had ONE kid together, we could never again have SEX? You have LOST YOUR MIND." And honestly, I would NOT put up with this. If you do, good for you for sticking by him, but I think that once his kid leaves, I would NOT have sex with him for at least another 1-2 months or the same amount of time he has his kid there.
I have taunted in the past.
I have taunted in the past. This man has more willpower then God himself. The rejection has been enough to second guess myself. Last Friday he did his usual ass grabbing etc. I ignored ALL his advances. I just am so tired of scheduled sex. And now look...... there will be no sex unless by a miracle the kids go stay at grandmother's or something. And if his son isn't barging in the SD17 is lighting up his phone from midnight till like 3am.
I have told myself that this summer is what is going to make me or break me. I do not have high hopes for this relationship. But I am giving it the next few months to see where it goes. But the way I see it is if sex is already scheduled or non existant and I am only 37 I must ask myself can I do this for the rest of my life?????
I think you should put a lock
I think you should put a lock on your door and then just wait for the kids to go to bed. Would he really not have sex with you until August??? That is insane!!! I wouldn't put up with that crap!! I would torture him and walk around naked.
Phuck that. Go get yourself a
Phuck that.
Go get yourself a vibrator, lay right there next to him and rev it up and make use of it. If he asks what the hell your doing the answer is simple:
What you wont/cant.
^^^This^^^ I was going to say
^^^This^^^ I was going to say the same thing, if you are too embarrassed or something to do it in front of him do it alone, I'm sure he will be busy with the skids.....:/
Sorry this really sucks, I could not go that long with my man, I be the biggest bitch ever he wouldn't even want to be with me anymore!!!!
This is some b.s........
Seriously? He really allows
Seriously? He really allows his son to barge into your room and stops for his daughter?
I would walk around with a Mona Lisa smile on my face and add "C batteries" to the shopping list. Or stick a post-it to the fridge "C Batteries for Bob" When he asks who is 'Bob" just smile and say "My Battery Operated Boyfriend." I would even take care of business while he lies next to you. If he can resist THAT he has some very deep problem.
OH yes he will go without
OH yes he will go without till August. Hell he goes without for up to two weeks. I just don't think sex has ever been that important to him. He has been with three women in his life. His ex wife, BM #2 and then me. That's it. He didn't have sex until he was 22 years old. I wanted to get a lock but his kids have been so sheltered that they are struggling just sleeping in their OWN beds and not together. In fact last night SS11 snuck out of his and climbed into MY sons bed. And my son only asked ONE thing and that was that they DO not sleep in his room. Ugh......
He doesn't stop for SD17.... hell that would mean we were doing something. And that like I said is only a friday treat. I know all the signs and tricks he does when of course he fears I might initiate sex with him. So after being rejected over and over I just don't even try. It's truly exhausting and hard on my ego.
And C batteries just might be a good add to his list of batteries for when he goes to get them for the xbox. I want batteries for my toy too. Thank you and goodnight! :jawdrop:
I guess sometimes we need to
I guess sometimes we need to take matters into our own "hands"
How old is he? He may have
How old is he? He may have reached a point in life where sex is just a chore.
Do you think he using the kids as an excuse?
He is 37. No I don't think
He is 37. No I don't think its being used for an excuse. I think he truly stress's them seeing something that is considered sin.... (we have not got married)
The guy who blew off your
The guy who blew off your wedding is worried about sin?! Honestly what are you getting out this relationship? He sounds like a big fat ass.
Seriously. has he ever had
Seriously. has he ever had his Testosterone level checked? DH would find himself falling asleep at work and even though he is quite active he was gaining belly fatr. He was 53 at the time and his testosterone level was that of an 80 yr old. So he uses a gel every morning and everything is 'business as usual'. Not just in the bedroom but in other parts of his life as well.
No he hasn't. I wouldn't know
No he hasn't. I wouldn't know how to approach that. My SO has gained prob 35 pounds in a year. And he is active. I'm not sure if he would consider thinking there is more to the problem then what I think there already is....
Oh, I sooo hear you. Like I
Oh, I sooo hear you. Like I said in another post, I'm married half of the month and I share that with his business, trips, volunteering and any skid activities they may have on his weekend "off". I can't remember the last time I had sex :?
All I know is that this was not what I expected being married to a man with children
It isn't easy. I know they
It isn't easy. I know they say that sex should not be so important, but I think for me it's more then that it's also when I get kissed and held and touched. HE does none of that in front of skids. We are more on a friends basis in front of skids.
This is not what I expected either :?
You need to give this a real
You need to give this a real good think.
Here's my story - I traded my active sex life for what I thought I needed "stability and a nice guy". My ex husband has a very low sex drive. While we were dating - he was fine with once a week. As we got older, and life and kids got in the way - we were going MONTHS in between. Then it was 3 months. We even jokingly said we needed to schedule a "quarterly review". At the end it had been over a year! I couldn't live that way anymore. It was like having a roommate not a partner.
The biggest issue? Not the lack of orgasms - but the lack of intimacy. We no longer connected. And by the time he figured out things were getting bad - I was already looking for a divorce lawyer.
I'm not saying this will happen to you - but if sex and intimacy are important to you and your relationship - talk to him NOW.
Don't let him use the skids as a way to avoid the issue.
I told my DH that there is
I told my DH that there is nothing wrong with adults showing affection for each other in an appropriate manner in front of children. Otherwise how do they grow up to know boundaries and what is OK and not OK? You certainly cannot learn that stuff by watching Jersey Shore or Keeping up eith the Kardashians can you?
LoL you can if you want to be
LoL you can if you want to be a hoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hehehe - my DH and I are not
Hehehe - my DH and I are not quiet nor do we not get busy when the kids are around.
One day a few months ago - my SS16 was being a passive aggressive jerk (more so than usual) all day. Muttering under his breath, stomping around, slamming doors etc.
So I ask him, in a caring and nice voice "SS what's bothering you?" After some back and forth about how he didn't want to say anything and me "I can't help if you won't talk to me" blah blah blah
He says "I heard you and my dad. You shouldn't do that when I'm here." (btw - he lives here 24/7)
I thanked him for being honest with me. And then promptly told him it would be a cold day in hell before I managed my sex life around him! Stupid presumptive kid!
I really cannot imagine going
I really cannot imagine going so long without sex!!! Of course sex isn't EVERYTHING but if I don't get it daily or atleast everyother day I feel crabby and feel like pushing FDH away, I understand when he's tired or working alot but we usually make it up on the weekends
What does bother me though, FDH and I are very in love and very affectionate but he DOES act different when FSD is there and it annoys the shit outta me!!! I just do my own thing or go to my room, I can't stand them together. Why act any different??? I don't act different towards him when my BD is around..........
i would torture his ass until
i would torture his ass until august, and each time as he was about to give in, Id tell him I have a toy to take care of that...
I love all these ladies. I
I love all these ladies. I thought maybe I was being too demanding of him. I am not sure how to approach this. But I know me. And I know I require affection. Attention. To be kissed. Held. He hasn't kissed me on my lips in........... yea no idea. The sex thing really gets under my skin. I made comments several times a few months ago but it did no good. He just laughs. And says no thats not true. UM HELLO? YES IT IS!!!!!!!! We ONLY have sex on FRIDAYS and I stopped initiating it. Because I'm tired of being pushed away. We sat together JUST last week and I told him how I felt what I needed. I know it will do no good but I feel better knowing I was up front and honest with him about affection and what is needed. If I am going to have a room mate then I'm going to find one who pays half of everything and has no CS and no bitchy Baby Mama's to deal with and one without a BITCH for a daughter.......
We shall see how this pans out. But so far no affection since they got here sunday. Last night I grabbed him and kissed him. I could feel him go stiff (and not that part either) like he was uncomfortable but I didn't care. ggggrrrrrrrrr
You are not alone!! My bf is
You are not alone!! My bf is doing the same thing. The kids got her on Sunday the 3rd. The next Sunday, I got a quickie because the kids were still asleep. That's been it so far! I asked this last Sunday if we'd be able to have some play time..."we'll see how the night goes". Well, he decided to eat so much dinner he made himself sick, I almost think he did that on purpose. Who knows when it will be for me again. :?
He allows the kids to stay up all hours of the night, and feels so guilty that he spends every minute with one of the two kids, annoying them most of the time because he wants to hang out with them. His son is 9, has no friends here so he's always in the room next to ours on the computer. He grills my bf of what he was doing when him and I shut the door to our room just to talk about something. Bf falls asleep on the couch every night, so its not like we go to bed together to have any alone time.
What annoys me the most is he was so sex crazed in the beginning of our relationship, 4-5 times a week. Over the last year, he got sick, had surgery and it took a while for him to heal, he also got depressed because of it. We went 6 months without intimacy at all. I understood what he was going though then. He's gotten better since November, and the intimacy level has increased, but now it is gone again. When I first asked about sex when the kids would be with us last year, he said it would not effect it. He's not healing from a major surgery this summer, so he has no excuse.
Wow bcagirl. Yes we are
Wow bcagirl. Yes we are living the same life.......... Skids stay up all night at my house too. And SO has spent every moment with SS11 due to guilt. Myself and SS14 sat in the living room together asking him several times to come out and join us. But for two nights that is a no cuz he and SS11 are working on something. I know when my SO isn't wanting to be with me. He doesn't shower at night he waits till morning. So if no shower then I know no sex. And well if its not friday its nothing. And now that skids are here there will be excuse after excuse. I can already hear them.