Anyone else having/had problems with BM not letting DH talk to Skids?
SO has a court order that states he can talk freely with his SD8 at reasonaible hours and it also states in there that EVERY Tuesday at 730 PM the child needs to be made avalible. Now BM doesn't always let him talk to her and if she does she stands right there and stairs down SD8 (this is from SD herself) She does not allow SD8 to talk to him if she is not there because the one time she let SD8 talk using her husband phone SD8 would not shut up. She is a very talkative person and was so excited to talk to her dad without her mom staring her down.
I mean she went through her whole day. From what she wore to school, ate for breakfast, lunch, what books they read in school, what she did at recess, what she did in music, art and gym. Finally SO had to tell her he had to go because it was getting to her bedtime. They talked for close to 40 min. The phone calls are usually only 2-4 min otherwise, because she is either scared to talk or has to go for one reason or another.
Sometimes when he calls, like this Tuesday, BM will not be home and she will tell him, I will have her call you. I don't know if they have a house phone but she will not give it to him and won't even give him an email address to have his attorney contact her. Now she NEVER has her call back.
Any suggestions as to what to do to get her to follow the CO without going back to court again. It sounds like a silly reason to go back but he is not getting to talk to his daughter at all. Now for the summer she gets half and he gets half. It's her half and he won't get to see her for 24 days. That's a long time to go without her even getting to talk to him.
BM is trying to PAS this child to dealth. Not to mention she did this once before denying him access to his child for almost 3 years in an attempt to show he was not in her life and to get his rights taken away. That fell through when he took her to court for contempt. Whole other story.
Please be gental with your comments, I have a soft heart.
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There are other things we
There are other things we could slap on her with a contempt charge. Like she has had her every holiday since the new CO requireing her to let him have visitatin last late summer. She has had labor day, her birthday, Thanksgiving, New Years, Easter and Memorial Day. He has only had Christmas, because she was working. That is not every other holiday as the CO states. She also has involved the child and PASing, in our state it does state you can't do that. There are a few times that SO's scheduel has made him unavalible to call on Tuesday by 730 due to work or things. He has also made arrangments around the 730 time, knowing she will only talk for 3-4 min anyways. He has left his other kids christmas or spring programs to talk to her. It is just so hard to know how a judge will treat this matter. He wants to take her back and tell the judge he will get her a cell phone to use, nothing fancy but would allow him to talk to her, and then I can just see BM taking the phone away but I think if he mentions to the judge that she may do that that the judge will tell her she can't. It will only be allowed to call him or his family and such so we don't have to worry about her using it for other reasons.
DH had this issue, and the
DH had this issue, and the best thing to do is document. Also, ask your lawyer if you can record the attempted phone call.
In our case BM agreed in
In our case BM agreed in mediation that SO can call the kids at 7pm when she has them to talk to them. Unfortunately it's not in the CO so BM pretty much does whatever she wants. Whenever she's angry with SO, she won't let him talk to ssons. the skids are young 3 and 4 so even if she answerst he phone, the boys only stay on the phone for a couple of minutes before putting it down to go and play.
I've heard of cases where the
I've heard of cases where the child was given a firefly phone for the specific purpose of talking with parents... the kid can call without asking, and parents can call without dealing with a hostile other parent.
I did that when my son was 9... I was very careful not to contribute to PAS, and there was a LOT of hostility with his father.... he'd call with the excuse to talk with my son, but when I answered (my cell phone, didn't have a home phone), he'd take that time to yell and swear about whatever was on his mind. I added a $10 line to my cell package just so ex had a direct number to reach our son, and also, my son can call his dad anytime, I don't even have to know about it, so I know he feels free to talk to his dad, not guilty like he'd make me feel bad for talking to his dad. It worked beautifully for me....
But you would have the challenge of getting the BM to go for it. I bet if DH gave the child the phone during a weekend visit, and told her, "this is so you can call me and talk to me any time you want to," BM would be pissed..... but, she wouldn't want to "be the bad guy" and take the phone away.
If you consider this, be aware that this needs to be handled really appropriate with the kid to avoid entitled teen syndrome later. It needs to be the most basic phone available.... no data... the kind that is free and costs $10 to add to an existing plan. And it should be clear that the purpose is for communication with her dad. Later, if she wants a fancier phone to expand for use with friends, etc, she will need to pay for data, the difference in price of a fancy phone, etc.
Ah, these custodial parents
Ah, these custodial parents have it made. The non-custodial constantly has to pay for court just to get them to follow a CO. Sadly, crazy witch did this. We could not afford to go to court and honestly, DH understood that it was NOT fair for us to take away from our son's therapies, etc. to battle his loser ex in court. So, loser skid is now PASd. Oh well, not much to do. Good luck.