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Please help.. How do you deal with your SD's not getting along serious fighting though?

DASKRA's picture

Submitted by DASKRA on Fri, 06/28/2013 - 2:18am

Please no bashing, hurtful or rude comments regarding my situation. It is different from most.

SD' s are here for summer yeah Sad used to be a big ya Smile until teen years hit and now that I am here dads is fun and dad is a dad again. Long story. Regardless. Background. Yes they all come from different mothers. SD4 is here ever Wednesday/ Thursday and EOW 50/50 split all year court ordered. Lives blocks away. SD9 is here a 50/50 summer split schedule set my crazy BM but 50/50 court ordered. SD 12 is here for most the summer as she plays ball for our town during summer. Can see mom in town 20 miles away but mom has been having health issues and does not make a priority for her daughter. Her 8 year old and 18 year old are most important at this time so she made it clear that she has middle child syndrome at her house so we must take her this summer to help SD12 cuz she can't. No court order but very civil level headed mom never any issues never ever needed one. Get her when we want her. As much as we want. No problems. SD 13 usually gives us the run around and only comes to visitation. Fakes sick. Lies to get out of visitation but her mom is Newley married and prego and each time we try to bring her back 200 miles BM is too sick or on bed rest. Been here whole summer so far. Next drop off time attempt for July 7 th. court ordered shared custody. Mostly civil but has moments.

So kids don't see each other but EOW during school year. Here is the issue. Yep I broke the code. Read SD9 journal. Normally it's so funny. Today we ate pizza I got dressed read a book went here did that it was fun. Makes me die laughing. Well been a year or so. Now I found out that SD13 read it and told SD9 she was stupid and her journal was stupid and needed to have more feelings in it. Now this poor innocent girl has gone to writing. I hate my sister#1 and 2 and 3 is annoying and she called me a bitch and all these horrible things. She sounds so hurt. SD9 is a bit of a drama queen at times to get her way but not on her own grounds.

Questions are they are always fighting. Leaving one out. Babying the 4 year old. Now the 4 year old is ganging up on the 9 year old. They gang up on each other. I know some is sister love fight but then they say I favor one or the other and I ALWAYS make sure not too verry hard.

Any suggestions on teen preteen sibling fighting on girls.

God help me!!

Please don't be rude or mean.

Comments

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Fri, 06/28/2013 - 4:17am

This is all girls being girls. Sorry but that is what it sounds like to me. I think you and their dad need to try to make some balance between them. Like tell the one sister to not read the other sisters journal as it doesn't belong to her. Tell them that saying mean things to other wont be tolerated. Make up rules and the punishment for each one if broken. Hope that helps

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 06/28/2013 - 5:15am

I certainly don't envy you spending the summer with a 9, 12 and 13 year old girls. Middle School Drama Queen years.

First. How about everybody staying out of everybody's private belongs. If they don't all have a bedroom each, give them each a tote box (cheap from big box store type). Then rule #1, no body snoops in or borrows anything from another's child tote unless permission is asked.

Rule #2, they all can't 'play' nice, separate them for a couple hours. I don't know anything about your home set-up space. You may have to be creative creating four different spaces for 'you all aren't playing nice'. One in bedroom to read. One in living chair to read or listen with earplugs to ipod. One at kitchen table. You get the idea...you'll figure it out.

While they all seem pretty much the same age to an adult having to put up with them, they really are at different stages of maturity and in their small world social life. 13 is world's apart from 9 in interest and what they consider 'cool'.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Fri, 06/28/2013 - 8:32am

Sounds typical! lol

I am trying to wrap my brain around the fact that your DH impregnated 4 different women. I barely can handle one BM much less 4!! I feel for you girl.