New developments yet again
We are putting a hold on sending Ss to the facility. It was my Dh's idea. I refuse to suggest anything any more.
Ss managed to become friends with two kids in our neighborhood. They are siblings. The girl is a year older than Ss, the boy is 2 years younger. These kids are being home schooled too. We had no idea there were other home schooled kids here.
My Dh talked to the father when he went to pick up Ss. It looks like they are the crazy Christian-type (of course). He tried to convince my Dh to teach Ss Science using a Christian textbook. But at least Ss made friends.
They were over at our place Wednesday, spending a few hours in Ss's room. The baby monitor was on. Ss sounded like a totally different person. He sounded dumb and ditzy. At one point he acted like he didn't know what 3 multiplied by 50 was. He knows exactly what that is. He is doing Math at a grade ahead. They all laughed, saying Ss is stupid, in a friendly sort of way I guess.
And when they left, he does a complete 180 behavior flip and goes back to his quiet self. We heard him crying last night again.
My Dh tried telling Ss that he doesn't have to pretend to be someone else for people to be his friends. Ss told him to stop trying to screw up the one good thing that is happening right now. We told the therapist about this of course. There was a really smart grl when I was in school who would dumb herself down so guys would like her. Soon, her actual grades suffered. So we don't want that happening to Ss.
We are giving Ss one last chance. One more self-destructive incident and we will be sending him to the facility. My Dh is still going to go back there and do a interview sort of thing. So we will be ready to send Ss there if we need to.
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Comments
I think your DH is grasping
I think your DH is grasping at straws to try and not send him. I hope that you guys can get him the help he needs. I know how much this must be breaking your heart. (((hugs)))
He is grasping at straws. But
He is grasping at straws. But I will not say anything. I don't him to blame me later. Thanks for the hugs
Hi Ripley. You are right. He
Hi Ripley. You are right. He is acting this way because these are new people. He does this all the time. Acting like some person he sees on TV. He thinks that will make people like him more. There are short periods of time where he does it with us. He must have tried 3 different personalities with us. He has a book of jokes memorized. It is a bit scary.
We are worried about the bible thumpers too. But the last thing we want to do is make the kids go away.
We tried getting him to join karate before, when he was in a much better place. It didn't work out. He was crying in the car, refusing to get out. Unfortunately, he isn't a tough guy. And we don't want to push it on him. Combined with him being confused about his sexuality, we don't want him thinking we want him to act a certain way.
This is the first time in a long while he has made friends. My Dh wants to take the "wait and see" route.
What about music? It would
What about music?
It would also give him an outlet for emotion?? Music lessons aren't a group thing typically so some of that pressure is off - he might find some comfort in learning an instrument plus its something to 'show' others when he brings friends over once he gains some confidence.
WE have tried the music thing
WE have tried the music thing before. He won't touch a guitar even though he used to learn it years ago. He associates it with a bad memory. He has not told anyone why.
He does love reading so we have been encouraging it from the start. Maybe in time he will ask us to enroll him in something. Because every time we try on our own, we just meet with resistance.
Thanks Bookish.
Thanks Bookish.
Bible thumpers are generally
Bible thumpers are generally pretty nice people, just opinionated and weird. They also can be very thoughtful, even if they are only doing it to evangelize you. Hope it goes well.
Yikes, I hope I didn't offend
Yikes, I hope I didn't offend anyone with what I said. Of course, they do seem like nice people.
Would religion be a bad thing
Would religion be a bad thing for this kid? Give him something to hope for, something to hold onto? Plenty of people find Jesus when they're trapped in prison. This kids trapped inside his own mind.
Ss has officially denounced
Ss has officially denounced religion, and said some quite bad things about God. This hurts my Dh who is very religious. I am not that religious. So I stay behind with Ss on Sundays while my family goes to church. And the whole Ss telling us he is gay just makes religion more upsetting for him.
I hope the kids don't go around preaching to him. Because we know for a fact it will upset him.
I think I mentioned this a
I think I mentioned this a long time ago, but would SS have any interest in theatre? There are a couple reasons I think it would be good for him. First, because theatre kids often are the nerdy, socially awkward kids in school, but they form a good, strong group within themselves, and tend to be pretty accepting of new people. Second, I think it would be good for him to get to act, play roles, escape his own little hell by being a character he can jump into. Third, the theatre world is very accepting of all sexualities. While SS is figuring out who he is, he can make friends who would be accepting of him regardless of what his sexuality is. Also, no physical contact and a different type of competition that you would find it sports. Sounds like SS is good at memorizing, which would come in handy.
I think it might really be good for him.