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Hello... Newbie

Daisee1203's picture

Submitted by Daisee1203 on Sat, 06/22/2013 - 6:09pm

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Bio Child Free Zone

Hello,

I just joined.

I am in my mid 30's, never married, soon to be step mom to a beautiful 7 year old boy. We started therapy for him about a month ago to help with the changes. It's going well. He & I are building a good relationship but there has been and will be adjustments, I'm sure.

FI and I have gone through changes too. He had little, if any boundaries with ex which allowed her to run right over him. Since he's gotten better with boundaries she has thrown fits here and there, trying to make his life hell. This is the hardest part of our relationship...watching her self-destruct trying to ruin all others in her wake.

We take it day by day. I just needed a place to come to vent.

Daisee1203

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 06/22/2013 - 6:52pm

Welcome. I hope you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some good advice from others who are living the blended family dream.

I think you are starting out brilliantly. Proactive counseling for you and your family and putting BioMom firmly in a well controlled box from day one. Never relax those boundaries without very long and diligent observation of her behavior.

In our case every time we losened the boundaries they got shitty.

All my IMHO of course.

Good luck.

Esmerelda's picture

Submitted by Esmerelda on Sat, 06/22/2013 - 9:34pm

My husband's ex had crazy episodes, especially when stressed or when she didn't know how to react, and she had always been manipulative of hubby. When I came on the scene, she would start fights with him like they were still in a relationship, and he couldnt' see when she was being manipulative. I had to point stuff out, he'd defend her and then later see that I was right.

All you can do is protect the child as much as possible, and at 7, he will soon start to recognise when BM is being nuts and that other people don't act like that. I came on the scene to a SS10 and SD8. SD was pretty cocooned from it all, but SS was starting to see the signs. It wasn't long that they both knew that BM didn't operate the same way as everyone else. I just gave them support and tried (very hard) not to sound judgemental.

Good luck!