I decided to stay and have a update...

So after this weekend i have thought alot about the blogs I read and have decided not to leave here and DH home with SD is not a good idea.

I went home Friday and had a long talk with DH and told him for this to work with SD they need to not live with me. It was a hard thing to say but I hate going home, I expect the worse to happen, I am a positive person and am turning into a negative person because something always happens.

DH and I fought Friday regarding them leaving, then sat came, they were still there. We went out with friends and SD16 went to a friends house. Now she didnt drive there we dropped her off and she was supposed to sleep over. 9 came around and DH got a text from SD telling him when he was done to pick her up. So he tells me this. I say whatever. 9:20 another text comes in I'm bored are you busy come get me. DH looks at me and says you ready to go. I was like what? He tells me he needs to pick up SD from friends. I decide to leave with him because i am ready to blow up and not in front of our friends. We get into the car and before I could even say a word he says....OK I know this is alot and I completely understand you are upset. I will take SD to my mothers and we will stay there until i can figure out what the hell to do with her. I do not want a divorce I love you and want this to work so lets live seprately for now and make this work. I agreed that was the best thing to do. So sunday SD and DH moved out once again and this will remain until...god only knows....

DH and I are going away this weekend from Thursday till Monday. Last night when he called me he said SD was not happy we were going away without her and had a small break down. DH told her no crying is making him stay home. DH is going away this weekend with his wife and there is nothing that will make him stay. She needs to stop. She has therapy today and DH is telling therpist she is not getting better and what has been happening.

Oh Yesterday morning DH and I went for a coffee ride and when we returned SD was so pissed we left without her. She had massive attutude and was banging things around. DH had to tell her to knock it off 3 times and then at 1 I said i cant anymore you have to go and they left. DH does understand that it is just to much with her and we need to fix this before he can come back. DH agreed this is for the best before we end up not together because of his daughter. It is sad but it is for the best...

I want to thank everyone for there comments and help. Some I didnt want to hear but kind of needed to hear and glad i did. I need to stay strong and know this will work out in the end. DH and I love eachother and now seem to be on the path to worrying about us. He knows he has a long road with SD and has no clue what to do but knows one thing she will not break us up in any way. Him agreeing to move out because he knew SD was not changing her ways was step one for me. He did tell her when she got in the car sat that this was not happening again. That she needs to grow up, take the car he pays good money for insurance for her and drive it. That this behavoir is just nuts and she is making things very difficult for him and herself. She cried of course and DH just ignored it.

I kind of ignored it and went to bed when I got home. DH came in right after me and apolgized for everything. I did feel bad but did not show it. Just told him its just to much and it will end us if we continue. He agreed, thank god. So now time again will tell. Feel sad but alittle better with everything. Oh he did admit he gave me no choice when they came back and was sorry about that. He thought SD would really try but knows she just has way to many issues. I am hoping for the best and looking very much forward to this long weekend of being alone together....Glad i am not leaving here either. i need a place to vent where people know where I am comming from....Thanks EVERYONE!!!!!

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Good for you Daisy! Stay

Good for you Daisy! Stay strong!

I was worried we would never

I was worried we would never hear from you again after last weeks post from you. I am very hopeful for you and your family to pull through this. I have a SD that is on the path of your SD and I really appreciate your posts. Hugs to you and your family.

I really believe you are on

I really believe you are on the right track, Daisy. I hope that this time apart will encourage your DH to be a real parent to his child. I hope that he will use this opportunity to take a good look at himself & really put an effort into fixing the problem instead of putting his efforts into manipulating you to get you to deal with his problems.

I don't believe your marriage is beyond repair if he is willing to work on his issues, & I think the separation will give you a better view of what's happening with him & his daughter with them away from your home. It's hard to get an honest look at something when you're wrapped up in it & being smothered by it.

I think you are doing an

I think you are doing an amazing job of finding the balance between saving your marriage but not letting yourself be a doormat. Good job! You have a lot of work ahead of you but it seems like your husband is willing to do what is needed as well .

You have probably already said this 30 times but where is SD's mother? Is her going to live with BM a possibility?

Unfortunatley no...BM is a

Unfortunatley no...BM is a pill popper, brings men in and out of the house, and could give 2 shits for SD. SD goes there sometimes, lately more often, but overall never stays, they fight alot but lately havent heard any fights but she hasnt gone there either.

I'm happy you are staying. My

I'm happy you are staying. My FSD13 reminds me a little of your SD. She is not as bad but I'm worried how she will be when she is 16, I'm afraid that she will be to the extreme, either be like your SD in that she is utterly dependent on daddy, because she is showing that now, or she will be a wild crazy child!! Either way is bound to cause me problems. I'm just curious to what the counselor is saying, I know you said one time she thought she was getting better, but I don't see it. I think that my FSD needs counseling, she has had a hard time with the divorce, for a while you couldn't even mention it and she would cry. I do think she is getting better with it, but she is still clingy to daddy.

I do not think the therapist

I do not think the therapist is doing anything because she listens to just SD who says her anxiety is getting better since not with BM. But yet all these daddy isues are still here. i truely think SD does not think these are issues so she doesnt talk about it with therapist....Good luck. I hope your SD is nothing like mine!!!

DAISY!!!!! Good for you! I

DAISY!!!!! Good for you!

I think this is great. I know you are hurting and this isn't the best situation all around.

I am glad that DH admitted that they backed you into a corner.

I am also thinking it is time for a new therapist. An effective one that sees through the kids bullshit and will talk to you and DH separately and then decide on what to do in a productive manner.

A new therapist may be one of your conditions for this working out. I have read your blogs all along and this therapist seems to be doing nothing for the kid.

Hang in there! You sound like you are on the road to repair! Hang in there!

momtomany...I have no idea

momtomany...I have no idea what she is doing. But when he moved out first time he spent alot of alone time with me. So it really doesnt benefit her not to be living here. Actually it makes it worse for her and I think that is why she didnt like it the first time. She was not happy when they left yesterday. She is extremely upset we are going on vacation without her this weekend. Cant wait to see what drama stirs up Thursday...Mark my word there will be some....BUT DH informs me it will not matter. We are leaving thursday and returning monday, no matter what!!!

I thought about you all

I thought about you all weekend. As I just discovered that SD17 could be coming for the entire summer. I have felt sick all weekend. And was hoping you would have good knews on your situation. It appears your SD just really isn't trying very hard which makes me sad because I know mine won't either. And my SO will end up at his mother's for the summer. I can't take another summer like last summer. I just can't let a kid dictate my entire move every day for three months. I feel for the situations.

buterfly 2011......I feel for

buterfly 2011......I feel for you. This is not easy, it actually SUCKS!!!! Good luck to you. I hope the summer works for you....

I've been keeping up with

I've been keeping up with your blogs and I find it interesting that SD was soooo willing to be cooperative, then once she was back in the house it all flipped again.

She's terribly manipulative, although I probably don't have to tell you that. And I truly think she is doing this intentionally.

Good for you that you're putting some space between the three of you. You need that, and so does your DH. I don't know if there's hope for SD, it sounds to me like her behaviors are just "first nature" now -- I felt like that when you blogged about how she announced she was living with you instead of going away to college.... then, as you said, "smiled" and walked away. That was a well-planned stunt.

Why didn't her simply reply

Why didn't her simply reply to SD's text with "TOUGH SHIT?"

I don't understand how you've not lost all respect for him by now. She acts the way she does because he allows it.

Oh I told him that....I told

Oh I told him that....I told him friday I dont blame SD I blame you....

Just be ready Daisy, I'm in

Just be ready Daisy, I'm in the same situation as you right now, and your time from now on with DH is going to be filled with texts and phone calls from her. She is going to try to interfere in every way she can to make you miserable. Suggestion, when he's with you, his phone STAYS OFF! No texting, no calling, no have to go pick her up at such and such time, NOTHING! She is going to try her best to become his sweet little princess again and get back in his good graces. He will spend most of the time with you talking about how helpful and sweet she has been about xyz...etc. Be prepared to tell him you do not want to spend your time together discussing his daughter. There's a reason you asked them to move out. You don't want to have to listen to a play by play of everything she has said and done while they are together. That's the most annoying part! Stick to your guns about the phone. He will answer her call in the sweetest little voice you've NEVER heard! Puke!

Just be ready Daisy, I'm in

That little girl is a psycho

That little girl is a psycho nutbag. Who throws fits at her age because dad does stuff without her? She's glenn close in fatal attraction in the making.

If it wasn't so annoying, I'd laugh at how ridiculous she is.

I am so glad you decided to live separately. this is the absolute best thing.

Oh and be careful of the

Oh and be careful of the vacation thing. Seems like he woo's you then you fall prey to their manipulation of getting back in to your house.

Oh helena my eyes are WIDE

Oh helena my eyes are WIDE opened......No more!!! Oh forgot to tell you guys...Sunday we went for a drive to have some alone time and discuss things. When we got back..OMG she was soooo pissed off we went out and didnt take her or tell her. DH told her what is wrong with you? I do not and will not ask you a thing what SM and I are going to do....She stormed off....