Whew! SSs are off to a birthday party (because of course BM sees to it that if one of them is invited to a party, the other one is of course included- wouldn't want twins to ever do anything apart- please refer to my earlier post) and then she is taking them for the night because it is her birthday (check out another post from last week where she requested a particular present) lol!
This house is finally quiet. I am sitting on the screen porch with the two cats who are laying in the sun, not wanting to move, not wanting anything from me. Bliss!!

So my realization is this: though I find my SSs' lack of listening, lack of responsibility, and constant neediness, immensely frustrating, I must give credit where credit is due, and turn some of that frustration on......DH!!!! He is the first to get annoyed with them when they won't stop following him around, can't seem to do anything on their own, and won't listen or follow directions, but then he totally enables it by doing everything with and for them. I have been, until this point, fooled by his words and not looking at his actions. He tells them that he wants them to be independent but then when they beg him to go outside with them to do (_______x______), he kowtows and doesn't make them do it on their own. If they are outside with him and he comes in for any reason, they are inside too in a matter of seconds. They must be in the same room he's in at all times, unless they are watching tv (which we don't allow them to do a lot of)...

And of course when I say something, I'm being the bad guy. He flip flops between thinking he and I are on the same page parenting-wise, and thinking that my kids are (his word) "robots" because they can actually be in their own rooms, reading or playing or outside, not shadowing me every minute of every day.

Funny- SSs don't do this when DH isn't here. Summer is coming up, and I have two short months of 50% time, and of course much less when DH isn't here to parent his own kids, to institute an "independent boy boot camp" before this baby arrives. I am a teacher; I have no doubt that these boys will be fine when I'm the only one here. But helping DH to find a way to change this cycle is going to be much more difficult. Sigh.